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Posts: 9
Joined: February 8, 2018
Posted: February 8, 2018, 2:09 PM
My story is like many others--daughter has used drugs (doc is meth) for years. Multiple rehabs and incarcerations. Always going to do better and does for a little while.
I am the legal guardian of her 11 year old daughter. I researched and listened to the "never give up" "love" and be there for the addict. I did for 23 years. She relapsed again and is homeless again. Of course she wants to come home and it will all be better or for me to pay her rent. Quite honestly, I don't want to. I am pissed even though you are not supposed to get angry. I worry about my granddaughter though and want to do what is best for her. For the first years of her life the family shielded her from the fact that her mother uses drugs. Then we told her that mama was sick and needed help. She now knows what her mother lifestyle is and she told me that she thought her mom might be using again but she didn't know if she would even cry this time because she is used to it. Her mother sent her a text that said I am sorry that I didn't get to tell you goodbye but I had to leave my apartment. This really upset her and she asked me why her mother loves drugs more than her. She said that every time she thinks it will be okay it isn't. I don't know what to do. Right now I have blocked her mother from our phones so she can't contact us. I can't continue this endless cycle but I worry about what effect that will have on my precious granddaughter. -------------------- Granny Doss | ||
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Posted: February 8, 2018, 7:25 PM
Oh, Granny Doss. First off, let me tell you how much my heart breaks for you. It is devastating when it is our child, but unexplainable when it spills over to those grand babies. My son has a beautiful daughter, and she loves and trusts me more than anything. She is 9 years old. The best advice I got was to get her a counselor so she has a safe place to put some words to her feelings, so she understands that she (unfortunately) is not the only child going through this...I also heard from another caregiver that she told her child that her parent's brain was not connecting with her heart right now, so she could not make good decisions. That really resonated with my granddaughter, although so many things do not these days. We try to keep things normal and fun....while always letting her know that she can talk about anything at anytime. Keep posting, and know you have reached out to a safe place. Libby
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Posts: 9
Joined: February 8, 2018
Posted: February 9, 2018, 3:36 PM
Thank you, Libby. I am so angry at my daughter for hurting my granddaughter over and over. I agree that the bond between a child and parent should be as strong as possible and I have tried to never say anything negative about her mother but I now think it is best to break that bond. When I think about every thing that has happened over the last years I don't know how I let her continue to be part of our lives. I keep reading "to never give up" and so forth. I am asking for the advice from other parents/grandparents on what to do.
Sue (my daughter) has never physically my granddaughter but has put her in dangerous situations such as being around dealers and sex offenders. She has never supported her either and treats more as a friend than a child such as telling her granny is old fashioned and there is nothing wrong with smoking weed or having sex. Sue has threatened me but never physically touched me. The psychiatrist from one facility that she walked out of phoned me to tell me that she had told him that she wanted to kill me. That was when she was seeing the "tree people" as she called them. She has stolen from me, family, and friends. Then she will get arrested and I will put money on the books and give her a place to stay. This last time she kept a job and apartment for a year but now it is back to the meth. I can no longer do this. It is not fair to the rest of my family or to me. Yet I hate myself for not wanting anything else to do with her. -------------------- Granny Doss | ||
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