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Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: November 18, 2015, 9:00 AM
Morning Crutches
meeting with that DM this morning. Haven't had a interview since I was a kid.Nervous about the future.I was grandfathered in the newer company I work for now.Completely starting over scares me.Enough oF that! Well it soon will be our bday :-) sharing it with someone :-) what do you think about that! Only known an meet one other person with our bday he turns 93years old.I search always looking for similarities between us.Not seen any ? but do I even know how I'm viewed"? He says what he thinks! I say what most are thinking,but would never say....00ps! To much info! You have you a great day! Blessings Butterfly | ||
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Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: November 18, 2015, 11:38 PM
Evening Crutches
Just wanting to let you know" they offered me the job!! Funds discussions hasn't taken place. Paper work " background check & drug test. it's a different ball field" now! Asking God to lead my steps🙏 Pray it works out! Have a good day"! Weekend Soon! Blessings Butterfly | ||
Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: November 19, 2015, 2:56 AM
That is AWESOME BUTTERFLY...see those new wings of yours help! One day at a time and patient will go along way. I know background checks...I do one every 5 years. Have been doing that since I was active duty. Guess that was my path here on earth. I don't mind it, I like my job but not as good as my active duty job was.
Hope you get the money you wish...I think it will work out as the days move on. I have not won the LOTTO yet so, if you can shake some of that good luck onto me that would be great! Hope you have a good day...it's a wonderful 2am and I am sitting here drinking my coffee. Warm wishes Butterfly, cause you gonna need it...cold air comin soon! Crutches | ||
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Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: November 21, 2015, 6:21 AM
Morning Crutches
Falling alseep phone in hand trying to get back to you.Lands! Now matter what I've done these last couple years -I fight! " asking myself "Will there again" be balance in my life ? Days are years - I question ? Stupidest Thing! No going back! "Not" a single word No action or reactions re-written So I'm .... offered a base pay yesterday(Thursday) afternoon.I knew an so did he that I would not agree an ask for more! His words ..."I was told to offer ....."Well ..I don't know?? ..I'm going to tell you" this is" -? You just tell me- ? what you think! Cramp! He Set himself Up for me to ask for more! It was a good firm offer! But""here is the deal. it's what the guy before made without asking for more" They are going to "Want A lot MORE OUT OF ME! Told this !! To be able to come down I ask high-maybe to high) That He couldn't approved (it's true) goes back to HR. So I'm seating here no reply back for the weekend! Never played this game! Wasn't able to use the distance from work (my choice) That came with a disadvantage he worries about that ! Heck me too! Sure would of been nice to ask you what to do"! I needed help an fell asleep last night planning on asking😔 panic set in this morning but I held tight knowing I couldn't go backwards! A call to him would be in disparity"! I WAS! I Am ! So here I SeAT ! Not sleeping ! Hoping you get on an read this soon! Cramp! I can't change it Now! Not been able to let it Go! Change subject! So I'm glad you enjoy you'll work. Time spent serving our country " Thank You"! Can' not be said enough!! I don't watch T.V or keep up with the news so I only know what others tell me.its Nuts in this world today! People are acting like wild animals killing without a thought oF life! I won't hardly kill a bug. Best I stay home! Had to have a gun now for protection in your own home! There was a day doors were left open.Its awful to live in fear when you leave your home that a stranger could steal all you have! Since I have no control over the craziness going on in the world Rather not watch the news or TV :-( were is_ "The Good News Channel"? I'd love that! All Good News! There is Good ! In this world " Shock Factor To Make Us Fear is Pushed! People Enjoy That? No they fear it an that's Why it's Watched an The News only talks an shows the worst that happens! We all need "The Good News "! Give Us Sum ! We're raising young children watching the worst of this world! They will become what they see an hear :-( It's Sad when there iS Good an they chosen to show us the worst! Okay said to much on that !!oops Crutches there is still good ;-) People still help each other " kindness an love is shown for others Holidays like Thanksgiving an Christmas so many ways it could be easily shown on tv. Puppies still find homes! People hold doors help load heavy items at times of need.Simply little task of kindness doesn't need money.A smile an eye contact is a act of kindness. Sending you a big Smile I hopeful "Adults will remember their ability" is so simply held in actions -doesn't cost a penny to be kind. As children look up its easy to become what they see are told an taught.I find that I encourage young people.I can always find a kind word to make comment about their person,Could be their shirt, hair or both.Any act of kindness it' could be possible your the only one that day that took notice that they made a effort.Ask them how their day was.Its easy for me because I was that child who didn't have.Looked down on because of being poor.Not guided,told I was good girl.Its easy to forget the power of words.How it's use good or bad can affect anyone. How simple it can be to change a persons (life) day. IF they hear inside any kind words as reminders.."that lady told me I had pretty hair."I've went on an on Crutches sorry about the book! You stay warm! Good Gosh coldest nite we've had! To be in 20s tonite.High Sunday just 35 I think We will see.Most of the time it's cold here an snows the first time on our birthday or close to it. Do some house work is about all I plan. Keep in touch Put your hat 0n! Keep warm! Butterfly | ||
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Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: November 21, 2015, 6:43 AM
Morning Butterfly,
Thought you went on vacation and ended up in the Bahamas or some place warmer. I dream of being back in Hawaii 30ft under water! soooo peaceful, but I will have to deal with being land lock for now. Was the amount you make now, equal with what the new job is offering? If not, ask for what you make now or a little more. I too hate bartering, but it seems to be how capitalism works. I use to warm, kind, and caring..Now I have a coat of armor on, never know who's gonna stick a knife in my back. I dream of peace, but seem to be a far off distance than when I was young. Keep up the faith Butterfly, these meds don't seem to go away easily, they linger trying to get you to go back to them like a false friend. grrrrrr what a nasty road to go down. Never thought I would do it...I never wanted to take sleeping pills, cause I would get hooked on them and 20 years later, I get into oxy nightmare. Its the weekend Butterfly, I too gotta clean the house..get the leaves outta the back yard, ughhhhh. Stay warm and strong Butterfly. Crutches | ||
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Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: November 22, 2015, 5:43 PM
Afternoon Crutches
I gotten nothing done as of this minute! Disappointment an Mad at myself! I look around at all its distinction left behind that wasn't pickup an default with! I think every day today will be the day I'll make the changes needed! That day has never come! Unloadeding on my doc. Week before last.All past issues I haven't been able to let go! I begged( no kidding!) I need help ! I'm unhappy! Alone! Unable to find strength! Something has to change! It's to hard!! Lost my fight! He told those I pass everyday-I think as iF they hold it all together our no different than me! Its common to believe they have a happy life an don't struggle!! This I think was thur before last. I spent last weekend sleeping! Having a panic attack Saturday an Sunday afternoon. I chose to sleep rather than fight! Head hurt only letting up while asleep! I dealt no choice nothing worked I took only having it come back. I know it's stress related. I think (as a fool) what I face will change with new job! Then spent this weekend In question about this new job- still unknowing! I was happy the day offered the job! Until the offer of salary an knowing what's in store! The added hours to my day of travel are over 3 hours! Yes the money offered was way more than what I make" today! It's only because I was cut deeply a year ago in pay. Now having no choice I must drive that far to find work that pays close or more than what I made for the last 7-8 years! I went backwards in pay ! It's pressure were I work today bet me down! Then take my money an wanting 5times more than before! How did this happen! I do related most all the stress an unhappiness to my work place! Having 2weeks or more vacation allowed to take today! Having lost vacation the 3 years pressured into feeling if taken I would lose my job! I should have taken the offer! It would be only final paper work - drug test back ground check left! But dam it's what I used to make! I wanted more! The drive an toll road will eat- up that extra pay! Not counting the hours to drive that I face knowing I'm that far away from my home! I have no choices left! I haven't had one! I'm mad as he$$! knowing this! I must work so much harder from years pass to make what I've made in the 7/8 past years! I will have no outside life other than work! I don't NOW even with the time I have! Being only 7miles from work. It drains ever once I have! I drag myself each week! In all based in unhappiness of were I find myself! I'm afraid an this fear plants me! I'm been unable to move! Find strength! I've faught to having no fight left! Today I find myself at the bottom! We're I've not made it better it's falling in all around me I have a question to ask you?? Tomorrow is Monday I can't stand today were I had to wait on a answer back for the new job about the pay! I need a answer"! I need the job! I have to face the facts of were my life is today!The man that works new job last day is next week! There is traning involed in another state for new job! There isn't time to waste! What I'm I to do go on waiting for the answer back??? Can I call him ?? Told them what I wanted he is to get back with me! I know I asked for more than they are willing to pay! Only doing that to be able to get close to were I was before! I would have taken offer- it's a lot more than I make today! But I know what they pay an the guy leaving! Offer was the same he makes! They are wanting more from me! A lot more than what he did! I need help! I can't do another day waiting! Afraid! I'll get passed by on job! I need it to be final! Over with! so I can move past the job that will never pay enough to get ahead! A job I can't handle its pressure an would do anything to leave! Nothing I can change about the fact I must work harder for less pay! Not getting ahead an falling further behind an being so unhappy were I am! Unless I get this Job! Stress is endless an I rather at least work harder for new company the end-up without a job! It's that bad were I work now!! I'll never again be happy after years of being happy at my job an the money I made! I'm in a no win place now! Face it I can't let this new job offer GO! I think I went on enough here! There isn't enough hours in a day! I don't use them to change anything! Stuck I've remained! Hope is out there! What I'm I to do ? Come Monday ? I need help! I made my mind up before the offer I passed-up! Gosh I kick myself! I'm I to call ?? I need to move on! I need the job! Thursday was the offer @12:30 he is to get back to me! I wait! All those that work at company seem to think I have no worries?? Standard operations everyday that people ask for more- then they call with what they can do. My biggest worry (that's all I do) is I lose the job I need so badly! Again I wrote a filping book! Rambled an repeated the same things over_ sorry about that! Thanks Cruthes for being there for me! Try to be happy - I must! Having only talked to you over this weekend😔 Im a loaner anyways but I've pushed it to were I talk to know one! Have a good rest of your Sunday :-) I plan is to keep the F off my butt an do anything that would bring more peace. Like hanging up clothes! Lands! Keep in touch hope to talk soon! Blessings Butterfly | ||
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Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: November 24, 2015, 5:25 PM
Evening butterfly,
How long since they said they would call you? I would give them a couple of weeks before calling to check. Patients butterfly, things (I think) will come in time. 4:22pm and I am tired. I was at work and didn't feel like being there. I wanted to eat and then just sleep! I am hoping this weekend will be better than the last one. Getting down to freezing and I have starting to wear my coat. I miss the warm sunshine of Hawaii. hmm I think I have said that time and time again but it is true. Loved the islands. Hump day tomorrow and we get to wear jeans. Lets see how tomorrow goes. Hope you had a pleasant day Butterfly. Sit and relax and chill. Warm wishes on this cold wintery afternoon. Crutches | ||
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Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: November 25, 2015, 3:19 AM
Morning Crutches
Dang! iF I just lose all I wrote! Oh well!guess it wasn't to be posted! Cold here to like 32* one more day an off till Monday :-) I spoke with the man turned in my papers to be hired today! So I'm blessed to have a chance an for sure a change! I have been upset that I must now drive 70+miles one way to make what I did just last year! Life has away of throwing curve balls your not able to catch. It couldn't have come at a better time. All my fear for the last 3,5yrs would be I would lose my job! Keeping me stressed an unable to slep or eat much! Let's just say after the meeting today it would be just a matter of time for me. Upset all day thinking the "What IFs" ? I've taken to much energy an wrapped up into this ! I'm over it! Blessed an can't wait to turn in my 2weeks ( I love when you talk of the islands! It's like nowhere I've ever been before! The best vacation I ever had ! The biggest moon I've ever seen! Love to one day go back again. I feel you have them in your spirit they call for you forever :-) You have a good day! Stay warm! We have our special day on Sunday lets do our best at hanging every happy moment!Keep in touch :-) Blessings Butterfly | ||
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Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: November 25, 2015, 4:50 AM
Morning Crutches
You been 0n this morning ? No sleep here! Long day coming YUK! Hoping to hear how your doing? Did you "sLeep In ! Lol | ||
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Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: November 25, 2015, 8:03 AM
I slept but not very good. will chat when I can.
Have a wonderful day Butterfly. Crutches | ||
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Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: November 26, 2015, 1:53 PM
Well its Thanksgiving Butterfly! HAPPY TURKEY DAY. I hope you are having a nice one. I am slaving away in the Kitchen working me butt off. I need a maid to clean up my messes though! Wanna volunteer? Job is yours if you wish!
Got up at 2am and made the desserts and sat down long enough to crash out. I then got up and started on the Turkey and dressing. You get the drift! I am bushed. Should have ordered out! Hope you have a good day Butterfly. Warm wish and Happy Thanksgiving Crutches | ||
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Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: November 26, 2015, 5:50 PM
Happy Thanksgiving Crutches!
Be over to help My Friend"! No Worries! First let me take a short break lol Well.. had dinner at my daughters ate earlier.I had to rush moving it to 12:30 I didn't have the time to make her cheeseball she haS to have! "Her" Cherry cheesecake! Felt I may get Mom it's Okay!! :-) no that would be a NO! ((I love it really!)) Our Holidays special treats" Not the Holidays without them. It was ....We Were Soo looking forward to that cheese ball MOM! Pressure! lol after I write to you I'm back in the kitchen. Cause they are Soo picking it Up on the way home from her boyfriends Fathers.Sounds like you had a Great meal Crutches"I Like a Man that Can CooK!! I'm hungry again! Darn a 12:30 dinner won't last all that long" Now that's lunch! Brought home a plate Im Good! Oh!'Happy Birthday coming Up! Found me a new friend to be thankful for! An share my bday! You've been in the kitchen since last nite! Hope your resting! Or maybe eating again ? :-) YAY! Anyway I'm going make that child's food! Eat an be thankful! You leave those dishes in the sink I'll pick-up an put it all back together.Take a break an chill ! ( isnt that what you told me!)Enjoy the rest of your Turkey Day Evening! Keep in touch when you can. Many a Blessing Butterfly | ||
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Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: November 27, 2015, 12:46 PM
More power to you being my maid! You will have to put on the French maid outfit!
I am working for the weekend. 2 more hours and then the weekend. Glad you had a good T-day, I slaved in the kitchen and then crashed. Love turkey though. Hope you have a rest of the weekend Butterfly. Crutches | ||
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Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: November 29, 2015, 9:43 AM
Morning Cruthches
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! HAVE A GREAT DAY TODAY! | ||
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Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: November 29, 2015, 10:29 AM
Morning Butterfly,
Happy B-day to you as well! I will e-mail you a nice big piece of cake for ya! Crutches | ||
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Posts: 136
Joined: August 9, 2015
Posted: December 6, 2015, 4:59 PM
Hi Crutches
Its been awhile since last Sunday-seems a life time! an only a week.I spend to much time alone! except for work.Looking forward... it's so needed in my life - I just I can't find it!! I'm better off! I know! " look were I was before :( Having No Control! Its so dam lonely":( I filled that all up with falseness before!Excepting sucks! I don't no were I'm going to find what's needed to move past this awful time in my life! I hardly allow anyone in for fear of being hurt! I feel now hurt has to be better ? than being alone.im hurting anyway! Wish I could gotten on to say- Hi" with encouragement! brought smiles an laughs to brighten "Your Day :-) But Just Wishing you it ! Makes me feel better!! Always Butter-fly | ||
Posts: 206
Joined: July 27, 2015
Posted: December 21, 2015, 11:48 AM
Hope you are both doing okay. It's the holidays, it can be a dangerous time. Stick close...
All my love, Persephone -------------------- " Many times I sought the lighthouse The familiar beam in the dark Looking for the comfort Radiating from its spark; Today I turn that inward No longer am I the seeker I am not just the lighthouse I am the light - And lighthouse keeper. " | ||
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Posts: 235
Joined: July 22, 2015
Posted: January 29, 2017, 5:09 AM
Butterfly...thinking and hoping you are doing well.
Crutches | ||
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