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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: April 3, 2019, 1:34 PM
Question Parents & Partners - does anyone think the brain damage done by long term meth use is reversible? I feel so hopeless today about my son ever getting somewhat healthy again. He's threatening suicide again because (he says} no one cares enough to help even though his entire family has offered help over the past couple of months on the condition he get into detox/treatment/therapy, whatever he needs. He either ignores us or says that isn't what he needs.
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Posts: 195
Joined: July 6, 2018
Posted: April 3, 2019, 2:59 PM
I've also worried if the brain damage is reversible. Your son sounds like my daughter. In the last two years she was admitted 6 times to the pysch ward.
She is so much better now,but unfortunately she still uses Meth. What I can tell you is when she was clean and on anti psychotic meds she got better. I think that if she could stay sober her brain would heal. The major problem is getting her to stay sober. Just two weeks ago she said ,I hate this life I want to get sober but no one will help me. When I point out the obvious her reply is No, that's not what I want. | ||
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Posted: April 3, 2019, 4:17 PM
Unless he's been officially diagnosed I wouldn't assume brain damage or anything for that matter. Rehab specialists will tell you they want the subject detoxed and evaluated before they would even attempt an official diagnosis. He needs a couple sober of sober days and observation before he's recommended for further more extensive evaluation. The worst thing if not necessary would be to put an addict on more chemicals upon admission to a facility or program. The doctors wouldn't get an accurate read.
Also keep in mind meth is an upper. He's using a chemical for energy/motivation. Problem is he's been probably been doing it through out the entire day and if he comes up short those down times must be really rough for him. Addicts can't handle 'normal' or sober. A chemical has been a crutch to them. That's why lack of coping skills is something that comes up in rehab because they can't cope sober or like most others do. Until he shows up at a clinic door on his own asking to helped not much you can do. Hang in there for yourself. This post has been edited by samegame on April 3, 2019, 4:18 PM | ||
Posts: 132
Joined: December 30, 2018
Posted: April 3, 2019, 4:55 PM
Hi all I once came upon that was s suggested read, about Nero plasticity, or brain plasticity, it was quite refreshing to read and quite hopeful that brain damage can be reversed, like all only if they really are wanting it
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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: April 3, 2019, 6:18 PM
Thanks everyone - rational mom KNOWS that the reason he is behind on his truck payments is because he spends his money for drugs. But emotional mom thinks well maybe if we catch up the past payments he'll seek help.....
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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: April 3, 2019, 6:35 PM
He keeps texting us with one woe is me tale after another - it is beyond exhausting & nerve wracking....
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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: April 3, 2019, 8:57 PM
I don't know much about meth. I know addiction affects the pleasure center part of the brain which leads to overactivity. As a result, the frontal lobe which is responsible for executive decisions, insight, judgement, and logic (to name a few) becomes dramatically underactive. This explains the poor judgement and poor decision making. Once the addictive substance is gone, the brain begins the process of balancing itself out again. It takes time but it does readjust in various ways. The key is being sober long enough for healing to take place. I don't know the details, this is just a rough summary from what I have read.
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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: April 3, 2019, 10:12 PM
Today was an extremely rough day. Since 6:30am we've been talking about my son or texting my son. I thought we were making progress with talking him into treatment although he never committed to anything. Says he wants Sober Living (don't you have to be sober first????) but can't afford it without insurance. Always some excuse why he can't. He's about to have his truck repossessed so I broke, I cracked - I volunteered to make his truck payment & get it up to date. He acted grateful & we continued to hammer away at getting help. Then after numerous text messages (said he can't get calls because he didn't pay his phone bill) back & forth between our son, me & my husband - he stops texting, he calls & is screaming into the phone, saying he's driving but has no business driving because he's never been in the shape he is now. My husband talked to him for probably 10 minutes with son saying he's F***ed up everything & my husband STILL telling him to call 911 or go to the county medical center, my husband's voice cracked because he was getting emotional & cracked and start tearing up. Son yelled I can't do this & hung up, I called him back & begged him to get help & told him I don't understand.... blah, blah, blah. He hung up on me - Note to Self (and to all other parents & partners) DON'T BELIEVE THEIR LIES!! I was played, he broke through my shell & then once I paid that $600 truck payment, he attacked me & ripped out my heart and shoved it in the grinder.... PLAYED ME AGAIN!
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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: April 3, 2019, 10:29 PM
So sorry mtnmom. They know how to pull our heart strings. I talked to my daughter again tonight. She had called me a few times while I was at work but I can't use my phone at work. So, when I got home I called her and she sounded good and said she wanted us to research places for her and talk on Saturday about places we both found which is positive. She asked me to call her back in an hour so I did and was just on the phone for a few minutes when she got another call and put me on hold. Then she gets back on and pretty much tells me I'm useless and she hung up on me.I'm pretty sure the call was about getting drugs because she did a 180 on me....My head is spinning... I'm taking a break from her because she emotionally wears me out.
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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: April 3, 2019, 10:37 PM
I'm so sorry Sallyanna!! rational me knows the drugs/alcohol & whatever else he is taking rules his scrambled brain. But dammit it hurts my soul!! I will never understand how someone can do that. Also found out he had been telling his girlfriend that he has no one because his parents & family don't care about him & have turned their backs on him....
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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: April 3, 2019, 11:11 PM
Geez they really know how to play everyone. Its emotional extortion and it's abusive. I'm really PO'd right now because my nice relaxing evening was messed up....I don't feel motivated to research places now I think it may be a waste of time. She really sounded serious to me.
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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: April 4, 2019, 8:32 AM
Me too Sallyanna - I didn't sleep well last night but got this morning with new resolve. I will not answer his phone calls & all text messages will be answered with "CALL 911 & ASK FOR HELP WITH YOUR METH ADDICTION". No more tiptoeing around the issue. His addiction has ruined his life & he is going to be homeless in about a week. He can either seek help or live in his truck. I'm beyond heart broken but now I'm just mad that he is will to screw up his existence but not will to take a single step to feeling better. Says he is too weak to move forward, maybe he will gain some strength when he's living in his truck.
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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: April 4, 2019, 7:06 PM
Sometimes I feel like I'm getting brain damaged !?!?!
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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: April 4, 2019, 10:19 PM
DEFINITELY!! This morning the texts & calls started, then the rage when we said something he didn't like, then a calm & willingness to get help. Then nothing for several hours, then an offer for help for him until we again said something he didn't like. I told him off & told him to not call/test - I am done. Then he called my husband, more yelling. Then husband told him off. Then he called others in the family & told them off & threatened them. Then called hubby & threatening & screaming - hubby screamed back & told him he loved him but he need to grow up & get into treatment and when he does, then he can come back into the family but now we are done - have a good life! My son screamed F You....
We blocked all the different numbers he was using | ||
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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: April 4, 2019, 11:02 PM
Gosh it's so sad how this all pans out for everyone. It all gives me this sickening feeling and I feel so unsettled. What seems obvious to us is like foreign to them. Tonight my daughter said she wants to go back to detox and said it was a really nice p!ace. Last week she told me she left because they didn't know what the F@ck they were doing. Each time I talk to her it's like I'm talking to a different person...I don't know what to think anymore.
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Posts: 132
Joined: December 30, 2018
Posted: April 4, 2019, 11:45 PM
Sally Ann the bottom line is really I think we are talking to a different person when they are using, it’s messing with there brain, what’s the obvious to us, is a million miles away to them, think ime s bit of s slow learner, when I think “ oh there’s nothing wrong with him”, I think that’s when he’s using, as everything just seems fine to him, such a puzzle to work it out, still not sure, number 1 giveaway “where’s his money” he doesn’t go out so surly he should have some!!!, instead debt, that’s my thinking
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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: April 5, 2019, 4:21 AM
Yes I agree sad eyes. Active addiction is really irrational and when it's mixed in with moments of clarity it's very confusing and mixed up. This is so awful to experience. Its a very helpless feeling. I pray she goes back to detox very soon.
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Posts: 132
Joined: December 30, 2018
Posted: April 5, 2019, 6:20 AM
Yes I hope she does to, does your daughter work? Not sure if that makes any difference in addiction, I think my son is a functioning addict, self medicates, he’s works all time, never misses, sad as who would think of when they where younger are lives would of been spent on sites like this! It is so hard to try and distance yourself from them, and try and let them work things out for themselves as I keep trying to do, as the longer he plods along in life things are harder to put back together!!,
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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: April 5, 2019, 8:09 AM
We are definitely not talking to our children, we are talking to a mixed up, scrambled, disoriented, meth addict (or drug of choice). Last night was the final straw, we blocked his phone numberS (somehow he has several), he wants help, he EXPECTS us to give him money, swears he never pays for meth - somehow he's such an amazing person that all his tweeker friends give it to him for free. Screams, yells, cursing, insults & threatens me, his dad, his brothers and now his sister in law. My husband's final comment was "We love you with all our hearts & wish the best for you, get treatment & call me when you are clean, until then we are done" Surprisingly, I'm not a mess this morning. I have a headache but his family is taking a stand that until he gets help he's not pulling us into his abyss.
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Posts: 341
Joined: December 23, 2018
Posted: April 5, 2019, 6:30 PM
So last night was another night for the record books - another evening phone call where we were seconds away from sending him money for gas to move & arranging a storage for his stuff so he could enter rehab. Once hubby mentioned storage, son launched into an explicative filled tirade about not caring what his MFer brother says, he going there & kicking that lazy MFer's a** & moving in there.... Hubby told him NO, you are NOT... and that's when the fireworks REALLY BEGAN. Ended up with us reaching our bottom line & telling him no more calls, no more contact, no more texts. We love him & we hope he finds the help he needs to straighten out his delusional drug filled mind & get his life back.
He texted me afterwards & my husband SURPRISED and angry that we said we'd help but not we won't & he has nothing & no one... We have blocked his calls & numbers. This was our verbal intervention. Go to rehab or you can't be part of this family. His brother told him if he shows up, he will call 911. No more threats, nothing. But I'm sadly relieved today that I'm not hearing his crap, most of which isn't true anyway & the part that is true is all his own doing | ||
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