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Posted: January 6, 2015, 9:10 PM
August 2013, I got back with my boyfriend who had just spent the last two years selling and using drugs. We are very young, but have known each other for years. He was my best friend. He tells me of his experiences... They are so dark. There is a world out there that I have never known. And it hurts. Every time he brings up something about his past-the girls he has had, the money, living in a cell, going days without a bed to sleep because he snuck out of rehab, feeling lost, seeing his friends die or get locked up-it hurts. It hurts bad. I can't imagine him going through that. He is so young... We were innocent. I see the boy he was when I first met him. He stopped everything cold turkey to get back together with me. June 2014, I found he had been hiding cigarettes from me. He lied for an entire year. And if he told the truth, I wouldn't have been mad. Or if he just waited another five months until he was 18... But he didn't. When we were fighting, he kept bringing up all that he has quit for me, as if the life he was living was ideal. His world and his bright future crumbled around him. He gets to graduate high school this year. He has a chance at a normal life. Why, then, does he want to go back to how his life was? Please help. His depression and nonchalance toward the topic is wearing on us.
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Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011
Posted: January 6, 2015, 10:41 PM
There is no ex-addiction. It's addiction/alcohol"ISM" ... not "WASM".
All the best. Bob R -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
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Posted: January 7, 2015, 2:58 PM
Dear Elimylynn,
This is what I believe to be a prerequisites for your friend to enter into ANY intimate realtionship: 1 year of continous sobriety - which may include detox, treatment, meetings, more meetings, getting a sponsor, service work, sponsoring others, and finally -- maintaining stable employment and at least a houseplant or a pet for 12 months. It sounds like you are young, and I am encouraged that you had the wisdom to reach out for advice. I am the father of a 17 year old young woman. I would tell my daughter to stay far away, and to not let her compassion be misplaced. If you envision a long life with another person, then waiting 1 year should be a small, patient start. Otherwise, you may be well served to say goodbye. I hope this helps. Flyboy | ||
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