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Internal Bondage
skg


Posts: 4174
Joined: July 18, 2006


Posted: May 14, 2013, 9:22 AM
QUOTE
When we are under the influence of our addiction, it's hold may seem to have supernatural force.  We may give up on living and throw ourselves into self-destructive behaviors with reckless abandon.  People may also give up on us.  they may distance themselves from us, as though we were already dead.  Whether our "insanity" is self-induced or has a more sinister origin, there is power available to restore us to sanity and wholeness.

Christ helped a man who was acting insanely.  "This man lived among the burial caves and could no longer be restrained, even with a chain.  Whenever he was put into chains and shackles--as he often was--he snapped the chains from his wrists and smashed the shackles.  No one was strong enough to subdue him.  Day and night he wandered among the burial caves and in the hills, howling and cutting himself with sharp stones" (Mar 5:3-5).  Jesus went into the graveyard and assessed the situation.  He dealt with the forces of darkness that were afflicting the man and restored him to sanity.  He then sent him home to his friends to tell them what God had done for him.

We hay have gone so far into our addition that we have broken all restraints.  We struggle to be free from the control of society and loved ones, only to discover that our bondage doesn't come from outside sources. All hope seems lost, but where there is still life, there is still hope.  God can touch our insanity and restore us to sanity.  "The Life Recovery Bible," pp 1256.  Mark 5:1-13
I blamed everyone for my little problem with addictions because it never occurred to me that I could possibly have some responsibility in the matter. I believe that if God wanted me to be a successful man and then throw it all away to become a sullen drunken loser (as was my grandfather, come to find out), that was to be my legacy.

So I set about accepting my alcoholism and sank deeper into the quagmire, all the while wondering when I would die.

I didn't know I had to come to a decision point where strength was gone, intellect was gone, dignity was gone, and the light was fading. I was, in all aspects, insane. Like Legion, the man in the story, I was a man of many personalities. Happy drunk, mad drunk, a restless, irritable and discontent dry drunk, stupid drunk, you-name-it-drunk. Alcohol had become a rapacious creditor and I was a shivering, drooling, shuddering denizen of his mad realm.

And I have been restored (although I'm not sure I ever WAS sane) to a loving and caring husband, father, sponsor and friend. Through AA and letting go, surrendering my will and my ideas to hire a new pilot, I've found serenity and been rocketed (although it seems more like kite-flying because it hasn't come fast enough) into a new dimension of spiritual life.

God is good and He will do it. Ask me how I know.

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Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.
pirate


Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008


Posted: May 15, 2013, 6:53 AM
So I set about accepting my alcoholism and sank deeper into the quagmire, all the while wondering when I would die.

I can relate to all of your post but especially to this one particular sentence... I vividly remember just before daybreak one morning out on my patio drinking port wine as my straightener for the morning and wondering how many more of these would I have to down before it was all over.....by God's Grace and much help from people he put in my life to help me I don't have to wonder today....

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Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need
 1 replies since May 14, 2013, 9:22 AM


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