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Posts: 2
Joined: March 22, 2015
Posted: March 22, 2015, 8:08 PM
Hi everybody, I just signed up and this is my first post. I sure hope it doesn't offend anyone.
Had I known what Meth would do to my life I would have bolted the second the Dr. took out her prescription pad. I was on the hunt for pills one day, stopping at various dr's offices, just going into these random clinics, like an idiot, hoping to find one that would write me a script for valium. This dr starts talking about methadone and...I don't even remember what she said, all I heard was methadone and the next thing that came out of my mouth was "sign me up". Well the first few months I'm walking on air. This, she informs me, is what's known as "the honeymoon period". THE HONEYMOON PERIOD? The only reason I've EVER done drugs was for "the honeymoon period". When it was over I either switched my drug of choice or took whatever amount I had to to relaunch the honeymoon. Some extremely life altering things started to happen. I quit drinking. ON THE SPOT! And I was a drinker. Never touched a drink again, and I've been on meth for almost 15 years. To this day I haven't had a drink. Because meth made me not want to drink, after a year or so I realized I no longer wanted to and took advantage of it while I had the chance. My interest in all other drugs went away, which is what's suppose to happen on meth. This all happened in the first few years. Then I started thinking I wasn't feeling good enough anymore, I needed to increase my dose. So I went from 30mgs, which they start you on, and slowly crept up to 40, 50, 60 etc..until the day I reached 100. And I'll never forget it because I freaked out, it was way too much, I was dizzy and disorientated. I told the dr "whoa nelly, we gotta pull back on that madness'. Then the next thing I know, 70, 80 isn't working, and before I could say Bob's Yer Uncle I was up to 190 a day! Beautiful. From there nothing mattered. I stopped cleaning the house like I use to, and I kept an immaculate house. I stopped showering every day like I use to. I started eating crap, was no longer motivated to cook the great meals I once did. This s*** took me down. I've gone through withdrawals 4 or 5 times in 15 years and anyone here who's been through them knows what that's like. A living hell. They can put a man on the moon but they can't come up with a cure for withdrawal? I don't know how, but I've managed to get myself down to 60mg's in the last year. But here's the thing that really worries me and really pisses me off. When I stop methadone will the energy I once had pre-meth return? Even if it takes a year or two, will it ever come back? I'm not very optimistic, I just can't help feeling that where I am now in terms of physical energy, with or without meth, is where I'm going to stay? I'd like to hear from ex meth users on this subject. I don't want to take anything away from anyone who believes meth has done wonderful things for them and their lives. But I'll tell you this much. If you ever have a choice to take it, don't. If your wondering if you should DON'T. This is my experience and I'm entitled to share it. I'm not coming down on anyone who takes methadone, I'm just relating my experience and trying to prevent anyone from going through what I went through. I found out the honeymoon doesn't last. This post has been edited by DrakeBayCR on March 22, 2015, 8:10 PM | ||
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Posted: April 22, 2015, 9:36 PM
Hi Drakebaycr
Your story is so close to mine it's scarey I to lost all drive , I to kept immaculate home , as well as my gardens ,loved to cook for everyone , was funny and happy, a great mom and I DRANK , 20 yrs of alcohol gone , all of it, no emotion , I have become numb , and gained 50lbs which I've lost now that my dose is so low thank god , never had a weight issue in my life and I'm 39 , close to 3 yrs I have been on meth , mind you I went no higher than 100mls, I have tapered down to 3 mls and will go to 2 in another day, would love to just stop but already I'm lethargic , no drive , no energy , no laughter no smiles , it's terrible , I hate methadone with a passion and that is what has got me to where I am at 3 mls I refuse to ever go back up or stay on this crap, yes I know it's saved lives but it ruined mine , far worse than pills ever did, which I got hooked on after a car wreck . But I to wonder if I'll ever be myself again , when will I laugh again , or gain my energy back , I work , I'm a mom, I have a home to run and my other half has no sympathy or understanding of what I go threw or have gone threw , I don't expect sympathy I put me here I know but some understanding would be nice , but I'm rambling , I too just want my life back , I want me back and so does everyone around me , I've turned into a hermit , I do hear it can take months after your last dose to come around , I dread that thought ,, just thought I'd share with you , your not alone ,,, best of luck to you keep up your taper let your want of finding yourself again be your driving force | ||
Posts: 1059
Joined: August 29, 2011
Posted: April 24, 2015, 3:36 PM
DrakeBayCr & LuvSunnyDayz,
I am sorry you had such a bad experience using methadone in your recovery. I would like to ask you to please not refer to methadone as "meth". There are a lot of folks out there, like the addicts friends and family, who only know meth as methamphetamine or speed. For those who may choose methadone to use in their recovery there doesn't need to be mixed messages sent, especially to those who are uninformed. While you may dislike methadone it has saved many thousands of lives. With all the bad drugs out there advocates for methadone spend a lot of time dispelling myths about methadone. It's OK if you don't like methadone and choose not to use it in your recovery but please, don't refer to it as meth. thanks a bunch, granny This post has been edited by Granny2 3 on April 24, 2015, 3:38 PM -------------------- I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH LOVE MY HEART COULD HOLD UNTIL SOMEONE CALLED ME GRANDMA. STOP AND LISTEN TO THE BIRDS SINGING IN THE TREES. WHEN THE BIRDS ARE SINGING EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS OK.[FONT=Courier][FONT=Arial] | ||
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