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Posted: December 14, 2012, 10:44 AM
Here's my deal: I'm a 41 year old Business Analyst. I gave up MJ a decade or so ago because of zero tolerence policies.
Started the spice same as mosr-legal aliternative. Yeah I knew it was man made trash; I knew itwas surely bad for my health, but addiction? That crosses the line. So 3 years later, many different iterations of spice (NOTE HERE- I dont believe that they were always like this. in the 3 years i'vse smoked, I had to go to the ICU twice for diabetes issues. 3-5 day stays...NO WITHDRAWELS or any other bad s#!^.) I find myself with a monkey on my back. Heres what I did. -Got together Josh's withdrawel kit. Soup gatoarde, OTC anti nausea, benedryl. Sounded like a good start, but as I mentioned, I was in ICU twice in 2 years- the major issue was vomitting, so I am well fa,iliar with that. This is wher I swallowed my IMENSE pride and asked for help. I told my Dr that I was a spice addict, and explained excatly what that meant, and what I was in for. She knew something of the issue and asked pertinant questions. I was not made to feel like an addict. They were more empathic and understanding than I could have hoped. So now, I am armed with the kit listed above plus 10 day supply of Ativan (anxiety)and 5 days Zofram (nausea). AHHHH...also scored a 1/4 KB to ....well whatever So far, went to bed at 11 last with Ativan and Zofram. Woke at 1:30...smoked some spice and 1 hitter of KB. Back to bed. 4:00 woke up. no nausea yet. Smoke 1 hitter KB. back to bed 7:00- most sleep in months..even if broken up. Still o nausea. 9:35- been piddling around most of the morning. Some sweats and chills-blessed me STILL no nausea. This zofram works on the tummy. generally the cramps would have me doulbled by now. The Ativan is working to. I have about a gram of spice left (yeah I know should tossed it), but no urge to get on it . Just a day agoI was sweatting/ stressing the spice. "what am I gonna do, without it?' "you cant beat the spice- give up!" now with thw Ativan I got a stack here that I havent touched in8+ hours..and I could care less. I'm gonna beat you spice. I will not be beaten by a weed and a lab geek! | ||
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Posted: December 16, 2012, 4:49 PM
day 3 no spice. thanks everyone for the support.I'm not so happy about the usue of the anti axciety drugs, but they REALLY made the differenece..I'm sure my testimony here states as much. Thanks agaian for all of the support....doing this by myself was nevee easier
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Posted: December 16, 2012, 6:38 PM
Okay well I am at my breaking point. not only does my husband smoke the hell out of this, he MAKES it. Thats right. So he never runs out. He never has to crave for it. its there. Always. He spent 100s of hours last year researching it and then decided to make it himself because the stuff he was buying from smoke shops were costly AND he knew one day they would be illegal. So i left him for many reasons last dec. i came back in march with a promise of a new beginning.
We have a 3 year old daughter that is my best friend. he doesnt have anything to do with her. he works thirds so comes home from work, starts smoking until he goes to bed. i dont have a husband i have an addict. he DOES NOT GET why i cry all the time. he thinks i am a "cry baby" that is just bored. he has NO idea how LONELY i am. i think about how we used to be and I know i will never have that with him again. As he knows hes addicted he has no desire to quit. He goes to work everyday and is the bread winner of the family. So maybe he thinks this justifies him smoking constantly. If i say anything about it hes a d*** about it. I feel recently i am in constant emotional pain, but he doesnt see it has having to do with him. I think hes so far up the drugs a** hes an emotionalless dark hole. When i do want to talk to him i have to baby my words. When i dont get through to him or hes so high hes annoying i get angry. My blood boils. then when i do say something to him its me being completely rude and saying something nasty. I DO NOT WANT TO BE THAT PERSON. I want to be a loving awesome wife. He complains that we dont have sex anymore. um HELLO you stink like fake weed and cigarettes. Both of which i dont like. you are grossly high and i have NO emotional connection to him anymore. I feel like im spreading my legs like a common street walker just so he doesnt get so mad he decides to take away the debit card. The past few weeks i honestly feel very crazy and depressed. i keep blaming it on myself. I keep thinking about what a terrible person I AM and how I NEED to die because im so pathetic. But when im not around him, his smoking, his addiction, the way he down talks me when i ask him questions, the list goes on and on I FEEL GREAT. Im actually happier NOW then i have been in a long time. but when hes home i feel just down right suicidal most of the time. I HATE the smell. It comes through the vents in the house because he smokes in the laundry room which is where the heater is. Im so tired of dealing with it and worry about long term affects it may or may not have on my daughter. Go kill yourself if you want to but leave my daughter out of it. He sees no problem in anything though. EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT, ITS IN MY HEAD, AND I AM A BABY. I cant leave as i am a stay at home mother for my daughter. the ONE thing i DREAMED of doing with my life is to be a stay at home mom. Well i got my wish only to realize it is a damn thing because i dont have any money to call my own. I dont have a car, WE have a fmaily car. I dont have any family anymore to turn to. I am all alone STUCK. You see why i am so depressed? I can honestly say we have been arguing off and on about this since i moved back home but i was doing alot of self medicating on beer. i would drink to get drunk. Alcoholic right? but i wasnt happy and it was helping. Well i stopped that damning behavior only to have no RELEASE from my constant upset that is his addiction. i try and be suportive and have NEVER asked him or told him to quit. I try and be as nice as i can and as understanding as i can about it. i know he likes getting high and i dont/didnt want to be that person to take it away from him. But being nice has only made it easier for him to blame me for being sad. he doesnt get it. I want to just look at him and tell him he has no soul. And we had a long talk friday for the first time in months, and yeah i thought things would change....yeah right. I dont know what to do anymore. It has been affecting my mental health for a good four weeks now. I take it very personally when hes high and rude, or not high and NEEDS to get high. Then i dwell on what a piece of crap i am. I just want someone to talk to. i get the addiction thing. i am 30 years old and have BEEN there. i understand both sides mine & understand him. I just want someone to talk to that knows what its like living with someone on this terrible awful crap drug. No i know has ever delt with any kind of addict let alone one on this terrible thing. my email is smotheredbyidiots@yahoo.com My kik name is smotheredbyidiots if anyone will vent with me please contact me, my name is elizabeth. | ||
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Posted: December 17, 2012, 4:58 PM
Synthetic weed gives me headache,, not good
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Posts: 1584
Joined: November 6, 2005
Posted: December 17, 2012, 5:44 PM
First of all his relationship with his daughter or lack there of is a good reason to leave. Your her mother not her best friend (that comes later). She needs you to take control and bring her to a place where there is a health environment. It is not healthy for any child to grow up around addiction. You are unable to protect her from the fall out of living with an addict. She WILL be affected. It's just the way it is.
YOu have the knowledge and insight about this. Now it's time to act on it. Alanon helps me greatly. You may want to give it a try. God bless -------------------- All things are possible through God. Ask and you shall receive Seek and you shall find Knock and the door shall be opened unto you When you pray, you activate God's power. Every time you pray something happens! The faithless are like an empty vessel and are more vulnerable to events that are out of their control. Pray at stop lights. Without faith it is impossible to please Him. When you pray, pray for His will. God is Good............all the time!!!!! | ||
Posts: 8683
Joined: April 24, 2007
Posted: December 18, 2012, 1:30 PM
Annoyed...you'd be better off on the Family forum.
You are only stuck as you believe yourself to be, and only as stuck as you are willing to make excuses for. There are always options. This post has been edited by MomNMore on December 18, 2012, 1:32 PM | ||
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Posted: December 18, 2012, 9:41 PM
Hey josh thank you, today is my first day sober
(Worst feeling ever) I've been smoking for about a year I've alienated all my friends and family because of it they all just tell me to quit or stop they don't know what it feels like. Your post helped you let me know what I have to look forward to. It sucks but I gotta get better. Thanks for the inspiration. | ||
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Posted: December 19, 2012, 1:57 AM
I'm 19 and have been smoking synthetic marijuana for 3-4 years.I think I can honestly say that it's has ruined my life.I can't hold a job or overtake everyday responsibilities that a normal person should do,I constantly think about smoking and if I try my hardest not to think about it the more irritable n anxious I get.I want to be strong but I just can't and I really and truely don't know why because I know what its doing to me.Whenever I can't get it or just smoke it in general with friends or something,I slowly slip out of reality and I turn into a whole new person and become uncontrollable like a guy locked up in a psych ward surrounded by white padded walls.Im afraid that one day I'm going to breakdown.Help me please=[
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Posted: December 30, 2012, 12:34 PM
Hi everyone,
I can't tell you how much of a relief I feel reading these posts. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, he too has fallen victim to the synthetic weed. He has been hooked on this for over a year. Our relationship is hanging on by a thread right now. He has gone through 6 jobs in a year and even though he says it has nothing to do with his smoking addiction i beg to differ. He asks me everyday for money, putting me in a major financial situation. I am paying all of the bills, coming up short when I shouldn't be. On top of the financial issues we hardly even communicate when he is smoking which is all of the time. He is outside constantly in his own world. As of today he has decided to quit. He has said this before and after 5 days was back to it. Im nervous to see what will happen. Not sure if anyone still updates on this board but for my own sanity Im going to post to vent anyway. Any positive feedback or reinforcement would be greatly appreciated! Hannah | ||
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Posted: December 30, 2012, 5:42 PM
Hello everyone, I'm a embarrassed mother and wife for trying this fake crap, I am one day clean,same story was a pot smoker. I am ashamed to say I have a problem,its ruined my drive as a mom a wife and professional, marajuana never had a hold on me like this,your stories have now let me know I'm nor alone, I don't pray nor am I religious, but I definitely need a higher being.. so prayers are welcome, thanks for listening!
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Posted: January 3, 2013, 11:16 AM
hey man yea i going thru the same thing and started of the same way this herbs have sunk their claws right into me
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Posted: January 8, 2013, 10:11 AM
Its been over a month since I decided to quit using!!!! No urge or desire to use....since then my life have been very productive and happy.....I couldn't not do this alone...I prayed for strength and every day it was better and sweeter...feeling so good about myself....Now I can be the mother and wife to my love ones...(Not what I I use to be but on my way to where I should be!!!!!!!
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Posted: January 8, 2013, 10:28 PM
I am so encouraged by reading the success stories on here - Josh - Deacon82 (just to name a couple) you guys rock. My son is addicted to this crap. How can they sell this stuff. It is so damaging to your body. We have given him an ultimatum today that he has to stop or he has to move out. He is 21 and he does work full time but MY son isn't inside his body anymore. I pray for him daily and I know that God hears my prayers. He has to want to quit - he sounded good tonight understanding that he has a problem and knows he has to stop. He doesn't want me to read this forum because he says I'll get depressed. I am trying to learn all I can to help him. Just knowing that there are success stories makes me so hopeful. He doesn't think he will have withdrawal symptoms but I know better after reading this thread. I will lift all of you up in prayer tonight. Please pray for my baby too.
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Posted: January 13, 2013, 8:25 PM
Hi all, my son has been off the synthetic for a few days now. It feels like he is back with us. He didn't have an appetite for a few days but I cooked a good dinner and he ate. I am so hoping this lasts. I have prayed and God has answered. He gets paid this week so I am worried but I have faith God has a different plan for him. I can only pray that he sees it. I have lifted you all up in prayer on this forum. I can see how this stuff destroys lives. If you are new here, please read Josh's posts - even if he isn't on here any more. They are very insightful. I am taking it one day at a time. This can be overcome. I am so grateful I found this forum. Thank you to all who have posted here. You have helped me immensely in gaining knowledge about this stuff. I pray for all of you that are suffering and struggling with it. I am still a Concerned Mama.
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Posted: January 14, 2013, 6:20 PM
Hey there it's a relief to know there are others. Currently i'm on it which totally sucks! I have no friends nobody at all because of it. I work part time in a low wage environment and my free times are smoke smoke smoke. Don't get me wrong I smoke every single day. Before and after work. I have been trying to quit for almost 3 years. IT SUCKS!!!Last year I went to live to Mexico for almost an entire year. Got back sober. And boom instantly failed. I'm already starting to see very clear signs of baldness and eating disorder...Sometimes I just want to sleep and don't wake up.
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Posts: 1
Joined: January 8, 2013
Posted: January 15, 2013, 12:27 PM
Gamaliel- What kind of eating disorders are you having? My boyfriend has smoked this stuff for 3 years and it has distroyed him but he doesn't see it or chooses not to see it. He has been in and out of the Dr offices to see what's wrong with his stomach but I know what it is, it's him smoking spice that has done it. He can't eat inless he smokes. When he does eat, he is in so much pain and most of the time his body just throws it up. I've never seen anything like this before with anyone. He'll smoke to eat, then he eats and it hurts and then he smokes to get ride of the pain. The ones out here that have been smoking for awhile, have you started seeing some long term effects because of smoking spice? I know there isn't much out there cause it's still pretty new but I know there is.
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Posted: January 15, 2013, 4:02 PM
Please don't give up Gamaliel - You need to go to the doctor and tell them what is happening - they might be able to help you. This stuff is terrible and life changing - my son has been off of it a week and he sounds like his old self - he is still having trouble eating and his hair started falling out on top - we have no baldness in our family so I told him early on the chemicals were causing it. Please take it one day at a time - you are so worth it. Don't you want your family back? Isolation is such a empty existance - please get help. Don't let this stuff have any more of your money or your sanity. Please read all of Josh's post - he had a lot of good ideas which I used in helping my son. My son didn't start off smoking this to get addicted - he wanted to relax and pass the drug test for work - it gets its hooks it you and then you turn into someone else entirely. Please Please get some help. I am praying for you today - I know without God's grace my son would be in serious trouble or dead.
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Posts: 1
Joined: January 16, 2013
Posted: January 16, 2013, 6:25 AM
My husband and I have been drinkers and pot smokers since we were kids. I smoked and drank for the first time at eight yrs old. My husband can't smoke weed because of his job, and was drinking so much for years that it resulted in several stays at the local hospital. He started smoking fake bake about two and half years ago. At first I was doing it too, had a couple really scary trips and decided to stop. I went back to smoking regular weed. I don't seem to enjoy smoking the real stuff any more. A few weeks ago I decided that I was just going to be a spice head, since it is always around due to my husbands love affair with it. Well, I don't like being a spice head. Its four in the morning and I'm wide awake. Insomnia seems to be one of the first signs of a problem. Along with insomnia there is quick build up of congestion. This time around I have noticed a film on my tounge that returns quickly after brushing. Nausea, vomitting, confusion, gravings, depression. My husband is taking a two week trip. I'm going to detox while he's gone. The problem is when he comes back he will be right there in my face with all his posions, cigs, fake bake or alcohol. To all you husbands that are putting this stuff above everything just know that you are taking lives, Not just your own. As a woman I have looked to my husband for leadership and have found none. Your children will grow. You will live every day knowing that you have done more damage to the people you love than anything else in the world. My youngest is 15 now. Not a night goes by that I don't regret the pain I have caused. If your reading this and have young children "stop now". You think your hurting now wait til your 45 still struggling with drug issues and have to look back on the carnage of what's called your life.
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Posted: January 16, 2013, 3:20 PM
I have smoked this stuff for about 4 years non stop I finally quit about a month ago after it caused horrible memory loss and terrible chest pains and a wheezing cough. Since I quit I have been coughing up black phlegm and not just a little but clumps of dark dark black phlegm. Will this eventually subside? I know I should most likely see a doctor about it but I feel much better and my deep chest cough is gone, its just every morning I seem to hack up more black phlegm. It is starting to freak me out.. does anybody have similar effects or have any idea what this could be?
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Posted: January 16, 2013, 11:35 PM
Hi Emily, the black phleghm is probably all the chemicals that have been coating your lungs. Your body is trying to get rid of it. You can go to the health food store and ask for a lung cleaner - tell them you were a smoker and want to clean your lungs out. Please don't give up - stay off this life killer - this fake bake sucks all the life out of you. I'm happy to hear that you gave it up. Keep strong because it is going to be hard but you can do it and you are so worth it. I will add you to my prayer list Emily. Don't forget that God still does answer prayers.
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