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Posts: 51
Joined: February 14, 2015
Posted: August 4, 2015, 6:23 PM
9 days ago I found in my son's clothes equipment for shooting up heroin. He almost lost his arm to bad needle/5 surgeries later and more to go and he was getting drugs in hospital. But after 7 weeks they hospital have cut him off and told him to cope with the pain. They know he was abusing it.
That Sat I took him back to his place and kiss him goodbye. I blocked his phone and refused any contact with him. He took off three days later and hasn't been seen since,its now 9 days of binging. His ex girlfriend is a recovering addict and lives in another state. She has been calling him and he is in a bad way. Won't get his arm cleaned, he says embarrassed to go to hospital he doesn't want to be judge. He is filthy and hasn't eaten in days. He is taking anything he can get his hands on. She is begging him to go get help, he keeps saying he doesn't care and just tired of it. Has he hit bottom who knows? The ex g/f has found a place that take charity and will take him. He refuses and she keeps calling me on the updates on his well being which isn't good. I told her he needs to go himself and if he doesn't admit that he needs help then there is nothing no one can do. But I am so tempted to call and pick him up again and fix him. It's so hard to keep a brave face. I can't talk to my husband or family members on what the ex g/f is trying because they don't want to know anything about him. They are so fed up with his excuses. I keep praying he would go but he has that type of personality that he would hide from any problems even the ones he created. It's just so hard to pretend all is well in the world. Every time I eat I think is he eating. Every time I shower I keep thinking is he cleaned. Then I get so mad at myself for letting this man, my son take control of my every thought, my every day to day life. I didn't create this addict and I am not fixing this addict! This forum helps me express my frustration with myself and keeps me focus on what I need to do for myself. Not for someone who only cares where the next high is coming from. I am tired of being made feel that I need to always try to fix him. | ||
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Posted: August 4, 2015, 6:57 PM
Dear Helplessmother,
If you have not yet considered it, I strongly suggest you attend an Al Anon or NAR Anon meeting. Addiction is a special kind of disease and requires a special type of treatment - for family members too. You will be welcomed and understood. You will become as healthy as possible, which is important if you are to have any impact at all with your addicted loved one. You don't need to let worry and anxiety control you. There is a better way to live. You might consider hiring an interventionist. You should have a treatment center near you, and they usually allow a free consultation. You could use that opportunity to ask about their family support programs (sort of like Al Anon). I know how gut-wrenchingly hard this is. Reaching out to this message board is a good first step. However, there is no substitute for working a good codependent program. I hope this helps. Good luck. -Flyboy. | ||
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