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Posts: 2246
Joined: March 23, 2006
Posted: January 10, 2018, 7:25 AM
In the end he has to be doing this for himself and NOT you and/or your relationship with him.
I think a time apart is highly advisable - recovery often does not stick and its best to find out early on if its going to or not. i know from my own experience that staying in the relationship when that stuff is going on is generally a case of wishful thinking. With addicts/alcoholics you need to see the actions rather than listening to the words. If he is really serious about recovering then he will not try to talk you into the relationship, he'll understand he needs to take care of recovery first. i think if there's talk of things like "can't do it without you, or it'll be different this time" then run for the hills. -------------------- Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:27 May the Force be with you. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should just get used to the idea....Robert Heinlein. You can spend the next 24 hours reaching your true potential or sliding down into your own particular hell. the choice is always yours. | ||
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Posted: January 10, 2018, 11:59 AM
Hi idgie thank you for your reply.
My partner, on my request, didn't contact me at all for over a week, and only text me again once I text him. He has been clear that this is his problem to deal with on his own, and he does not expect anything from me. If I need to leave him, he will be devastated but would understand. He said he knows there will be times of pure solitude during this time of recovery and he is okay with that. I really don't feel that he is relying on me or depending on me in any way. Its only been 2 weeks since the blow out, but he's been to 3 meetings since and is viewing properties in a different area. So he is acting as well as saying the right things. Again, maybe I am being naive to think we can make a go of it This post has been edited by shelovesyouyeahyeahyeah on January 10, 2018, 12:01 PM | ||
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