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Posted: February 23, 2017, 8:37 PM
Hi
So nervous I'm new to this site and never spoke about this on a forum before so please bear with me. I live in the U.K. and my husband is a cocaine addict. We have been together since we were 15 and have two beautiful children. I am at the end of my tether and don't know what to do. My husband has been an addict for just over two years, he's dabbled with it for years on weekends outwhich he always hid from me. Two years ago my husband had an affair and the girl he had an affair with was also a cocaine user, this is when he got hooked. In the last two years he has got us into over £30,000 in debt I have left him felt sorry for him and took him back time and time again, we have been to drug counselling and I really believed he had stopped taking it. Two weeks ago I found out he had taken out a credit card as he owed dealers money and drew money off it as he said they were threatening to kill him. I literally cannot cope anymore he promised me he had been clean since Christmas but tonight I have found evidence that he's still on it. I don't feel like there is anything more I can do, I'm crying all the time and I don't want my children seeing me like it as have tried to protect them from it. I'm scared I'm going to loose my home because of all the debt he has got us into as the house is in both our names, I feel like I need to be cruel to be kind and kick him out for good this time but I feel sorry for him he's my childhood sweet heart and have been together 22 years I just don't know where it all went wrong. I'm sorry for the long post and not sure why I've come on here as am now crying again, but feel I need to connect with people who has gone through it and hopefully give me guidance on what I should do as am so scared x | ||
Posts: 3
Joined: February 24, 2017
Posted: February 24, 2017, 11:17 AM
Dear "At Wits End"
My advice to you would be to look at your kids and yourself, because they are your responsibility as well as yourself. You have to take care of you first and also your children. Your husband has a problem, he needs to admit it and then take action to correct it. It doesn't sound like he is going to do that, so you need to be strong and do what you need for yourself and your children. Sometimes "tough love" applies not only to our children but to our spouses. We understand you have been high school sweethearts, you can love him, but you don't have to let him ruin your life along with your children. If he doesn't want to go to a treatment center, because he isn't ready to face his problem, then you need to take action to ensure that you and your family are safe and protected. Maybe the "tough love" by kicking him out will be enough to get him to rock bottom to know he either has to change or understand what he is about to lose. Pray about it and put it in God's hands, but be strong and know that you are not the problem and what he is doing is not your doing, but his own. God bless and Godspeed! | ||
Posts: 41
Joined: July 3, 2016
Posted: February 26, 2017, 10:19 AM
Im sorry you're in such a difficult position, but you're not alone. There is a lot to learn and understand to gain back control over your own life and eliminating some of the confusion.. You are scared, anyone would be, but that is keeping you stuck - I know the feeling. Look for alanon to understand your codependency. You need to separate your finances, that's for sure, and you need support, don't try to do it alone. I hope things get better for you and your kids, and let him find his way out if he wants to when he wants to. Take care
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