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Posted: March 19, 2015, 11:07 AM
My husband is addicted to pills. We have three kids, one of which is a baby. I stay home with the kids and he somehow holds down a good job. A fire was recently lit under my a** and I have had it. This is not the first time we have put space between us due to his addiction. This is the first time he has left though. Usually I am the one to leave. So anyway, I told him he needed to go and work on getting sober and that I will do whatever I need to to support him. I am starting to get my own help as well. I found a Nar-anon group that I will be attending and am hoping they can help point me in the direction of proper counseling. He has been gone not even 24 hours and I am freaking out. I always have anxiety and this is making it so much worse. I'm afraid the timing is bad. I'm afraid he won't be able to get better and we will have to end it. Why would he get better this time? He's always had a lot too lose and he's never gotten better. One more kid isn't gonna make it happen this time. And he might take some steps in the right direction and fake the rest just to get back like he has in the past. How am I supposed to know when it is real? I feel like I should wait to do this until I am in a better place. If we had to end now things would be worse for me and our kids in a different way. I'm so confused and don't know if this was the right thing to do.
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Posts: 8683
Joined: April 24, 2007
Posted: March 21, 2015, 5:55 PM
Living, ask yourself this: If this is as good as it gets and nothing changes, will it be good enough for you and your children? You've been at this particular party for awhile now and it doesn't sound like there's been much change. There is never a good time to have to leave a marriage and never a good time to wait while an addict decides what's more meaningful - the addiction or the family. You are in a position of dependency on him for his income and support, and that makes things tough on you - do you have any family that can help you if you leave? What type of support system do you have for yourself and the kids? He knows how you feel and has declined to seek help for his problem (which he may not see as a problem at all), and it seems this is not okay with you. It is easy for someone on the other side of a screen to tell you to get out, but it;s not so easy when you're the one living it....I feel for you. But ask yourself if you are willing to live this way indefinitely and to raise your children this way.
Peace ~ MomNMore -------------------- You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.  | ||
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