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Posts: 35
Joined: April 14, 2014
Posted: April 14, 2014, 7:34 PM
Hi all...just registered for this site today because I realize that I need other people to talk to about addiction/alcoholism.
I've gone through periods of my life where I've been sober and through periods where I decidedly have NOT been sober. Now that I have a 17 month old son and a woman in my life that holds me accountable, I'm ready to finally give up the poison that is alcohol forever. BUT. I know I can't do it alone. I've tried before and I just can't do it by myself. My other realization is that my partner, as she is not an alcoholic, simply cannot understand where I am with this affliction. I truly need other alcoholics to talk to about everything surrounding my own drinking. I'd like to be able to seek help from this place, as well as offer support. To that end...I came here because I can always access this site on my phone. I work 6 days a week which makes it incredibly difficult to regularly attend meetings. With that being said, I'm making efforts to go to meetings whenever possible with a friend who is also seeking sobriety. Outside of that, though, I feel like I need to be able to be in contact with folks in a venue like this one..again...because I have infinite access to it. In any event...thanks for letting me visit. I hope to share and learn, help and heal from being here. I welcome any opportunity to learn how to be AND STAY in recovery. Blessings to all! J | ||
Posts: 4174
Joined: July 18, 2006
Posted: April 14, 2014, 8:28 PM
Welcome. I can appreciate the avid determination--what else will you do differently? Can you get to meetings--even off schedule--to develop a network of Face-2-Face (F2F) support? What's your sobriety date?
If you're anything like me, I would start out the week with determination and verve, only to fizzle like a slow-leaking tire by the end of the week--and usually by Wednesday... :) Keep coming back! More will be revealed! -------------------- Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. | ||
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Posts: 35
Joined: April 14, 2014
Posted: April 14, 2014, 8:45 PM
My initial plan is to go to as many meetings as I have time for/am able to. That's the first step.
Once I'm doing that, I'd like to get a sponsor so I can have a lifeline if necessary. Other than that, I'd like to start replacing some of my less helpful coping strategies (i.e. drinking) with more healthy options...perhaps focusing on cooking better food, exercising more, investing myself in a new hobby. My main focus will be surrounding myself with people that are supportive of my sobriety. Embarking upon this journey isn't going to be easy, because I work in fields where alcohol is readily available and drinking often encouraged. By summer, I'd like to be attending events that I have to work with people that are also in recovery. My last drink was Saturday night. And yes...I am very familiar with starting strong but fizzling out after a time. I know I can stay away from drinking because I've done it for years and years prior to this but I think I need other people that are abstaining in my life. To be honest...I don't drink all the time or even regularly. And out of a 100 times, 99 of those times might be perfectly fine. But that ONE time...it's enough for me to want to stop. I want my son to grow up seeing his father as a strong, capable, SOBER man...just like my Dad was for me. I've lost a lot of things due to my drinking. I'm just at the point in my life where I want to be moving forward in a constructive and positive manner and I feel like my God is asking me to leave the sauce alone once and for all. I know if I don't, there are very limited options for me...incarceration, illness or death. I choose to live. | ||
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Posted: April 14, 2014, 11:45 PM
Welcome.
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Posts: 35
Joined: April 14, 2014
Posted: April 14, 2014, 11:56 PM
Thanks...been reading the big book online in my down time at work tonight. Figure that's as good a start as anything.
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Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008
Posted: April 15, 2014, 7:08 AM
Hi welcome to the board. It takes courage to admit there is a problem. You seem to have the right attitude in regards to wanting to stop the drink.. It is not easy but if there is a problem the sooner the better and the less crap you will have to deal with. Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it never gets better just worse..but I am sure you know all these things... Face to face meetings are important to recovery and in my case so was counseling...In the meantime there are meetings online that you can attend... STEPCHAT.COM .. you will find a link there to meetings several times a day so you can attend the one that is most convenient for you. Also I would suggest reading the ingredients on all food and products that you use and consume because even a small amount of alcohol can cause a craving.. vanilla extract, anything with extract can be a trigger as well as mouthwashes, after shaves etc... for me I had to stay one step ahead of my addiction and that meant being diligent about what I used, what I ate, who I was around, In short I avoided anything and everyone that was associated with alcohol in early recovery..Again I welcome you to the board and hope you will become a regular here... sending support, encouragement and understanding............
-------------------- Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need | ||
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Posts: 4174
Joined: July 18, 2006
Posted: April 15, 2014, 10:07 AM
It sounds like you've got a plan--stick to it! They told me to work my recovery like I worked my drinking, and I was drinking or thinking 24/7/365. I didn't drink to get hammered, I drank to shut my head up!
I spent alot of hours here when I first started getting sober. I had a lot of questions about recovery, AA, spirituality, etc., and the people here helped me understand that there was more to stopping drinking than stopping drinking. Turns out, I had a thinking problem. Spiritual malady--you'll hear that if you are listening. Do what they suggest, keep coming back, and welcome once again. -------------------- Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. | ||
Posts: 577
Joined: February 25, 2009
Posted: April 15, 2014, 4:15 PM
Welcome! Glad you're here. I understand where you're coming from. I've found that no one understands my brain like other alcoholics and addicts!
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Posts: 35
Joined: April 14, 2014
Posted: April 15, 2014, 11:18 PM
Thanks for the welcome, all. Will definitely check out the online meetings for sure. :)
I'm hoping that I'm here a lot as well....to read, listen, get and give advice...I'm really excited about all of this. :) | ||
Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011
Posted: April 16, 2014, 9:10 AM
The only advice I can give is here: -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
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Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008
Posted: April 16, 2014, 1:10 PM
Hi thetimeis now.. My experience has been that developing an attitude of gratitude has changed my life around.. I do this by beginning every morning writing down 3 things I am grateful for in my life.In early recovery I would also write down one reason why I would stay sober that day and focus on that reason. By changing thoughts we change feelings which in turn changes behavior..
It takes practice to change from addicted thinking to recovery thinking but it can be done. Today I am an upbeat positive person ,a far cry from the days when I was sitting on my pity pot in self pity with the poor me's guzzling down the devil's brew in an attempt to escape reality. It has taken a lot of work to get to where I am but if I can do it so can you. There is life after addiction .One day at a time, one hour at a time if you have too.. just for today .. don't drink... You can do it ! AA can help. sending encouragement and support. -------------------- Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need | ||
Posts: 4
Joined: March 18, 2014
Posted: April 26, 2014, 9:37 PM
Welcome, I am also new to the site, and I appreciate all info. Hopefully, you will too.
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Posts: 178
Joined: April 3, 2013
Posted: April 27, 2014, 11:51 AM
Hello thetimeisnow and IPGirl
The AA program will keep you sober, but you have to work it. Millions have and are sober today. Go to F2F meetings, Get a sponsor, Read the Big Book, Work the steps. This program will reward you with as much or more than you put into it. Good Luck. E. -------------------- Let me love and serve and teach, Those who come within my reach. For miracles begin that way! Author: Sally Deford | ||
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Posts: 35
Joined: April 14, 2014
Posted: May 5, 2014, 6:59 PM
Hi guys...back again.
I'm getting up bright and early to go to a f2f meeting. I'm really hoping it helps. Pretty tired of starting out with such great resolve only to let it slip and disappear. Wish me luck in finding a good sponsor and sticking to sobriety. I feel hopeful but also pretty sad and nervous. Tired of feeling regret from failing myself and the people I love. | ||
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Posted: May 6, 2014, 6:21 AM
Hi thetimeisnow
Glad to see you are going to F2F meetings. Change your thoughts. If the thought of disappointment comes, change it to one of pride and hope of being able to say you didn't drink today. Your family and friends WILL notice and be proud of you. Make a happy thought! Good Luck! E. | ||
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Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008
Posted: May 6, 2014, 7:39 AM
Welcome back friend...Good to see you post again .Don't beat up on yourself. learn from your falls and know where you went wrong.... what will you do different this time? sending support and encouragement.keep coming back..
-------------------- Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need | ||
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Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011
Posted: May 6, 2014, 8:35 AM
The meetings are where the magic happens. We can't do this alone.
All the best. Bob R -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
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Posts: 35
Joined: April 14, 2014
Posted: May 6, 2014, 5:08 PM
Going this morning felt...different.
I've been to a few AA meetings in the past, but I don't think I was ready...or just hadn't admitted to myself that I couldn't do it on my own. There were probably 20 people there and it was a closed discussion. I found a lot of comfort and hope through listening to the people there. Some of them had 20+ years of drinking under their belts. But those same people also had as many, if not more, years of sobriety as well. So it was really good for me to see people there that are adamant about recovery. I feel scared and somewhat relieved. I talked to one guy for a few minutes before I left. I feel good about going and am looking forward to going back tomorrow. More than anything, it felt really good to be surrounded by people who just understand. I feel like I'm moving in the right direction. | ||
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Posts: 6374
Joined: January 5, 2008
Posted: May 6, 2014, 7:04 PM
Good stuff! If it feels different it usually is It takes courage to do what you are doing and it takes strength to work recovery which is why it can't be done alone. The promises do come true ! Stick around long enough and you will see for yourself. :) .
-------------------- Thank God for what you have. Trust God for what you need | ||
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Posts: 4174
Joined: July 18, 2006
Posted: May 7, 2014, 9:28 AM
Hi, timeis.
Here's a quote from the "Spiritual Experience" Appendix (II) in the back of the text of Alcoholics Anonymous:
:) Congratulations. You're probably not there by mistake... ;) -------------------- Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation. | ||
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