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Posts: 1
Joined: September 11, 2016
Posted: September 11, 2016, 9:05 PM
Hi guys,
I am struggling to find some peace of mind. My 17 year old brother has recently been admitted to rehab for drug abuse. And while I am hoping he accepts the help he needs, I find myself struggling with his aftermath. He has emotionally abused my parents and I all summer with his constant lying, hurtful outbursts, physical violence, and manipulation. I feel like I'm floating in limbo. If he doesn't accept the help that rehab has to offer, then we will be in the running in the same circle forever until he does. But if he does accept the help, I'm not sure how if I will be able to accept his apology and ever be able to trust him again. If anyone has advice on finding some inner peace I would love to hear it. I feel like there isn't anyone I know who has been in my position so their advice can only do so much. With love, EL | ||
Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: September 11, 2016, 10:24 PM
you and your parents should go to Nar-anon to learn how to deal with your brother when he comes home.
you need to be a united front. so you all are firm on what's OK and what is not. Usually when they are living home the lines are too blurred, and they create a stressful household. Usually the best thing is for them to live somewhere else. There was a family in nar anon who was successful --- the addict was allowed to live at his sisters house temporarily. first month - get a job, second month - have transportation to get to job, third month - find place to move to. he found a sober living house close to work. The sober living homes are good when everyone cooperates. and is serious about being clean....etc if you go to nar-anon in your location, you will learn what is available. everyone will give helpful advice, keep going. new people come and go, and you learn a lot of information. your parents will learn a strategy to deal with the issues. and learn how to get their / your life back Your life has been hijacked by your brother's addiction. If he comes back home, you may want to move somewhere else. Although you care about him and your parents, this is should not ruin your life. This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on September 12, 2016, 11:29 AM | ||
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: September 12, 2016, 11:34 AM
I just re-read your post . I see your brother is 17. some of my suggestions might not be age appropriate for you. ie - moving out of the house.....
Definitely go to nar-anon. your brother is young enough to change. your parents need a good solid plan to not enable, and let him learn to take care of himself - so he feels the responsibility and consequenses of his actions. this includes joy and failure. sometimes when they are under the influence of substances, they do not feel either. therefore they think everything and every day is miserable. reality is that they make it miserable. but they can not see that it is their fault. and they need to be clean for many months before they see that life is not miserable. they (my son) needs to find contentment. | ||
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