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Posted: July 23, 2014, 8:48 PM
After two shoulder surgeries a year and a half ago, my formerly sweet perfect boyfriend has morphed into a horrible, mean, nasty, unpredictable, scary person. He lies to me about what he's taking and a few times he's had a combination of meds that rendered him drooling, slurring, talking to me like I'm someone else, and blacked out. I used to be so scared he'd end up killing himself but nothing I do seems to help. He won't admit he has a problem. I am so miserable these days but it seems selfish to leave.
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Posted: July 24, 2014, 7:47 AM
Whether an addict starts out with street drugs, or gets addicted due to a medical condition, the downward spiral is all the same. They need help. Also, there are many sad stories of people legitimately prescribed pain pills who eventually turn to heroin, as it is cheaper, readily available, and produces the same high.
Does he have family members or friends that know about his addiction? Is he able to hold a job? Who pays the bills? If he has some consequences, then perhaps this will nudge him to deal with his addiction. Even though he has medical issues, and people may feel sorry for him due to surgery pain, it is never OK to allow him to abuse medication. If you feel miserable with him, it is OK for you to distance yourself. This is not being selfish. How much of a relationship can he have when he is drooling and blacking out? Guilt often keeps us enmeshed with the addict. We mistakenly feel they are helpless, and need rescuing and protection. Nothing could be further from the truth. Only when the addict sees how much they can lose due to drug use, is there a chance of them seeking help. You are wise to listen to your own feelings. Whether you leave him or not, be careful not to lose sight of what you want in your life. Too often, those who love the addict become "martyrs" and end up being "addicted" to the addict's problems. | ||
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