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Posts: 1
Joined: August 27, 2018
Posted: August 27, 2018, 10:41 PM
My husband’s 30 year old sister is in our care. She has a 16 year long addiction to opiates. Currently, heroin is her DOC. We had to rescue her from the sidewalk with what was left of her belongings. We’ve been attempting to help her for the past 4 months. But, between the lies and lack of willingness to try to get better, we aren’t sure what to do next?
She has hurt so many family members over the years with actions and behaviors. Her 3 children have been removed from her custody by family. And she is currently in court for her two youngest. We are the only family left that is willing to help her. She has burnt all her other bridges. And we are ready to be done with this too! She has caused us so much heartache, but she is family and we love her. She came back to our place last night, obviously high on something. Stumbling, yelling, aggressive, breaking things. She was gone for a week. She said she was with her BF. But, that was a lie. She was with users and dealers instead of focusing on treatment. She used instead of going to her doctor appointment and the rehab facility. She has been sleeping all day after passing out last night at 7pm. Over 12 hours. I’m not sure what to do when she wakes up? We have been working to get her to rehab, but there are some medical things that are making it take longer. Plus the lies, and leaving our care to go do other things. So... do I put her on house arrest? Do I keep helping her? Thank god she lost her phone yesterday. That seems to be where she finds drugs and rides to get them. But now she will be depressed and angry, if she can’t use social media. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. We are not sure how to proceed. | ||
Posts: 195
Joined: July 6, 2018
Posted: August 28, 2018, 12:13 AM
Sorry that you are in this spot. The only way to help is to let her go. Don't allow her in your home. No matter what you say or do for her,it will never be enough.
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Posts: 384
Joined: October 25, 2016
Posted: August 28, 2018, 10:02 AM
I would give her an ultimatum. ‘We want you to stay home, stay clean, etc (your rules) until you go to rehab. If you can’t or won’t do that, then you need to leave our house.’ You will need to stick to it and not be soft. Chances are she will leave but might try to come back. You could also call around to shelters in your area and see if they would take her until you arrange the details of rehab. It is likely she won’t obey their rules either but she wouldn’t be in your house.
It doesn’t really sound like she is interested in rehab. Was it your idea or hers? Has she been doing things needed to get into rehab or are you doing all the work? Once she gets into rehab she can walk out any time and they often do ... especially if it wasn’t their idea in the first place. You may have to let her go until she is ready. Some people need more of a reality check than others but some never get there. You can’t force her to change, she has to choose change. This post has been edited by BugginMe on August 28, 2018, 10:06 AM -------------------- BUGS | ||
Posts: 20
Joined: June 13, 2018
Posted: August 28, 2018, 11:15 AM
Or, if you feel bad telling her to leave you can drop her off at a local Salvation Army they have shelter and help combat drug addictions. They have free programs that provide housing, food, counseling, and employment. I know how hard it is to kick someone out, but getting them into a car might be easier.
Letting her go is the best way to get her to help herself. She needs to hit the bottom and helping her is preventing that from happening. Good luck to you. | ||
Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: August 28, 2018, 10:18 PM
if she is under house arrest and does not have a phone, no means to connect and get doc, she will be in withdrawal. My advice is to bring her to hospital emergency room at a hospital that has a detox and rehab center.
from the rehab center social workers can help her to find facility such as halfway - sober living - house to live in. let her be accountable to someone else. If she does not want to be sober, the salvation army shelter sounds perfect. I have heard good things about their programs your rule should be no drug using while living in your home. it is too much for you to take care of. We have all tried! leave it to the experts. | ||
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