Posted: March 21, 2012, 12:27 AM
I'm new to sharing my addiction experiences. I think that if I want to fully recover, I must release the secrets I have shoved in the closet. Well, here I go....no guarantees.
At eleven years old, my mother introduced me to prescription drugs and alcohol. I soon became dependent on stimulants such as Adderall, Vyvanse, etc. With that, I later became dependent on Loricets, Xanex, Valium, etc. Later on I found my true love. Cocaine. I found my mom's stash and became hooked. That was 6 years ago. I'm now 17 years old. I don't steal or use anything for recreational purposes. My mother has been in and out of my life all of my life. When she was there, it was Hell. She emotionally. And verbally abused me. Her only daughter. When I was 6 she slit her wrist in front of me. When I was 12, she put a gun to my brother's head because he flushed her stash. So many more thongs but those stick out. She also allowed my uncle to sexually abuse me. How is a person supposed to feel worthy, beautiful, and strong when the one person they are supposed to trust more than anyone betrays them? It's pathetic when the only confidence I have is from drugs. Drugs have always been there for me when no one else was. I'm sorry but this is all I can say for now. It's just too much all ay once. Feelings are bubbling up and its getting too much for me.