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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: May 18, 2011, 10:05 AM
I feel unexplainably positive. I guess I will go with it. Life? You just never know do ya. All you can do is roll with the punches. I started this morning with my favorite meeting. The share was freedom to be myself. I shared that I felt like in working my fourth and fifth step that part of my resentment and anger was with myself. How when all the bulls*** was/is cleared all that is left there is a scared little girl. Some one else had shared how they loved to see little kids at the meetings how the unabashadly reach who ever is in the circle there to join hands in the serenity prayer. I belive the last little while I have been thrashing around in anger and pushiness, but am still that little girl. I want to be the little girl in the meeting unabashadly reaching for the hands of people who share my vision and instead of demanding and living in a fear based position. Ask... simply ask for help. I have drug myself along and was probably where I needed to be. But I am shifting some place else. I ask my HP for help and then wait. I will try to wait in grace and patience. But even if its a little ugly, with tears and impatience and grief. I will still wait, then maybe next time I will do it a little better. Like only expecting progress from myself and not perfection. WOW. Did you jsut hear me sound like I am getting it? Like perhaps it is working? Because possibly I am working it? Instead of expecting it to do the work. Hmmm. This is a strange deal. These steps are truley a miracle. (Now catch me on my next mood swing LOL!)
Love Jane -------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen  | ||
Posts: 9248
Joined: December 1, 2005
Posted: May 18, 2011, 12:00 PM
You are a miracle, Jane, and it's an absolute joy to watch you "get" it....
The spiritual way of living that the program has shown me is what I searched for all those years and the little girl in me is finally starting to grow up, in a safe & loving environment. That's why I keep coming back. Much love, Stacey -------------------- Happiness is not in the bottom of a pill bottle. It's inside you. | ||
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Posts: 3076
Joined: January 11, 2006
Posted: March 23, 2020, 11:25 AM
55. Wow I sound so optimistic. Also starting to surrender in the above post. Oh the simplicity. Oh the niavity. How grateful I am that I didn't know what was to come. I guess that is just life. The good thing that is comming out of this grounding and pandemic is I have been hitting a lot of online zoom meetings. They are odd. Sometimes when I hang up I feel more lonely. I cried yesterday. Im overwhelmed as I am sure the whole world is. This is so much bigger than all of us. Nothing to fear but fear itself and and I have been on & off picking up the perceived fear and looking at it really in depth. Quite honestly though. Other than a few really superficial things my life hasn't changed to much. My husband and I are both working wich is huge. I can't or wont visit my mom and dad. My dad has COPD. So I am not taking the chance of being the one that brings it to him. Some of my plans have cancelled beyond that its just a little slower paced. The world around me seems to be a tornado mean while I sit some times peacably and some times not in the eye of the storm. God is good I am still smoke free.
Much love & respect, Jane PS wash your hands and stay in. -------------------- My success story Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives. - Anthony Robbins Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder where I've gone wrong. Then a little voice inside my head says, "This is going to take more than one night." "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." -Leonard Cohen | ||
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