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Posts: 274
Joined: May 20, 2011
Posted: March 14, 2017, 12:31 AM
Hi I haven't logged on in a long time. I guess sometimes I feel like I have lost hope. I haven't used in awhile. But not all would agree.
I hardly ever use anything but right now I have been smoking pot and drinking. I do this occasionaly when I want to smoke crack or stick a needle in my arm...I guess most would say I'm substituting...well hell yes probably but is that really so wrong? I don't want to go back to what I was. I was a homeless cheap crack w****, literally. I have been home for 10 years and for the most part I have held it together. I have been a good mom to my 3 kids. I have changed. Now my oldest is on heroin and my middle child is in college and pregnant and my youngest whom I still live with is smoking crack. He says he isn't but I have found evidence and it is messing with me. I want to get high so bad. I'm trying to hold it together but sometimes I feel like I am losing...most of the time. So yes I am stoned and a little drunk and so f***ing lonely. I just want to run away but I know that will lead me to my old life. I'm going to move in with my daughter soon. I am just waiting for my son to get his drivers license so I know he can get to work without me. I have to get out of here. I'm so sad and desperate, I just dont know what to do anymore | ||
Posts: 176
Joined: August 24, 2014
Posted: March 14, 2017, 7:02 PM
hey
you need to go to a meeting ASAP. You need to remember how bad and awful it was when you were using crack. how messed up you were. how awful it was to be homeless, without a penny without a shower....without home.... play the tape again...is it worth it ....is it really worth it....so you can numb what you are passing through. I bet it sucks...it really does....right now to be you...but it will turn to shtt if you do crack and go into full blown relapse.....play the tape again...remember how bad it was... life it tough and can hurt so much at time...go to a meeting ASAP and save your life. you need support and real recovery== This post has been edited by soberturtle on March 14, 2017, 7:03 PM | ||
Posts: 86
Joined: April 16, 2014
Posted: March 20, 2017, 12:23 AM
I think you need to contact with a consultant. In this situation, a good consultant may give you the best solution.
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