Posted: November 7, 2015, 11:26 PM
Hello I am desperate for advice on how to deal with the mental side of my recovery. I started taking codeine after an accident 12 years ago, my prescription was eventually taken away from me (for asking repeatedly for more) leading me to buy nurofen plus. It has now been 3 years everyday taking nurofen plus by the box (32 tabs, 12.8mg codeine; ibuprofen 200mg). I would split them up into 8 at a time. This is also with taking cocodomol where I can and also tapentadol very occasionally. My husband has found out about the nurofen and so I have come clean (partly - not the extent of it). But I have admitted I have a problem. I have been tapering for 3 days, has been hard but have now reduced to 12 a day and I can cope with the sweating, the headaches and the pain (I was becoming so ill WHILST I was on them that this is not much difference), it is the psychological addiction I can't deal with. I have been making it hard for myself to get them and then when I don't have them available to me I sweat with anxiety, I cry, I think my life's pointless if I can't get high (even though they stopped giving me a high ages ago and just started to make me ill). I need to stop taking these things but I don't know how to deal with life without them. How do I cope, how can I be happy - I'm having a lot of suicidal thoughts because I feel like I need to replace with another addiction which is obviously not what I want to do but I have no choice. It is the only thing I look forward to in my day and what keeps me going. My life isn't bad, I have a job I love, amazing family and friends and yet I feel like I NEED these in my life. Please respond anyone who has been through the same and what I should do - I'm thinking maybe I ask for anti depressants until I am strong one day.