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Posts: 126
Joined: May 3, 2006
Posted: April 6, 2007, 5:36 PM
Does anyone have experience with cutting?
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Posts: 4671
Joined: November 19, 2005
Posted: April 10, 2007, 2:59 PM
lixie,
I got an email from a good friend to come and check out your thread. I have cut myself for 5 years and have not for about the past year... if you wanna talk or have any questions please email me. stacey.bsl@gmail.com I know how insane that can be. I know it can also be addicting. I'll be around off and on all day. Stacey -------------------- As of 5/11/08 I am a Non-Smoker!!! Censorship is a Cancer We live in a world where good men are murdered and mediocre hacks thrive. ~Bill Hicks "In the end we are all separate; our stories, no matter how similar, come to a fork and diverge. We are drawn to each other because of our similarites, but it is our differences we must learn to respect." "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."~Martin Luther King, Jr. 
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Posts: 273
Joined: May 3, 2006
Posted: April 10, 2007, 5:49 PM
I can't believe i'm about to admit this but... I've been cutting on and off for years. Went a few years not doing it at all but started again a few months ago. i always hate myself after but the compulsion can be very strong. Not much different than the bottle for me so maybe it really is a kind of addiction.
I can't believe i'm actually admitting it here. It's really shameful for me. but hope I won't be judged. -A. | ||
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Posts: 4671
Joined: November 19, 2005
Posted: April 10, 2007, 6:15 PM
Nobody has any right to judge. I think cutting is a lot more common that people realize. I would get so upset i would not even know i'm doing it until after i've already done it. I have scars all over my arm,, one very very prominent one across my entire forearm.
I used to be really really anxious about having someone notice... i don't really care anymore. a lot of people have tons of serious problems, everyone has something they are ashamed of. The thing for me is, when at that point to where i first think of it, i get very calm, and that's kinda scary for me. i cry , but i'm calm. The last time i got that feeling, i walked outside and sat and stared, until i didn't feel it anymore. i'd maybe punch something, but that is a better alternative for sure. Stacey -------------------- As of 5/11/08 I am a Non-Smoker!!! Censorship is a Cancer We live in a world where good men are murdered and mediocre hacks thrive. ~Bill Hicks "In the end we are all separate; our stories, no matter how similar, come to a fork and diverge. We are drawn to each other because of our similarites, but it is our differences we must learn to respect." "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."~Martin Luther King, Jr.
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Posts: 273
Joined: May 3, 2006
Posted: April 11, 2007, 1:33 PM
If anybody does judge its bs and i shouldn't care anyway, right? Screw them. I do think you're probably right that its more common than a lot of people think, I've known others who have done it. I didn't care about people seeing the scars when I wasnt doing it... i just don't want people to see the fresh cuts. Not sure why, it just feels shameful to me.
Its good that you dont do it anymore, that you've found other ways to get things out. For me its just another obsession, like the drinking. The 2 go hand in hand a lot of the time, maybe because when I'm drinking my emotions are always up. But for me its a more deliberate kind of thing. I mean i definitely know what I'm doing when I do it. And yeah, for me its almost always the same arm. Occasionally somewhere else, but usually my left arm. At this point I wear long sleeves every day. When i'm thinking rationally I always ask myself why i do it. Nothing makes a lot of sense though. | ||
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Posts: 126
Joined: May 3, 2006
Posted: April 22, 2007, 8:44 PM
Sorry it took me so long to come back to this thread, went on vacation. I have only begun cutting and I am almost 28. I am afraid I am doing it so I can deal with all the stress I have. Is this normal? I dont want to tell my doctor. I have been stable on my seroquel and lamectil for a couple years with only a few break through manic or depressive episodes.The last year though I have had horiible thoughts and anxiety and now I am cutting. I dont want to tell my doctor because I am afraid he will put me in the hospital again and I dont have time for that. I know I need to tell him I just dont think I am ready yet. I know I cant keep cutting to ease the pressure but to me it feels sooo good. Its almost addicting to me now.
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Posts: 5751
Joined: November 6, 2005
Posted: April 23, 2007, 7:47 PM
Hope I am not butting in here........I just wanted to add like Jimmjanngles said.
This is more common then people know of......and personally I think it can be a generational thing.......as in my generation I know people that cut and burned themselves also......but the generation before mine you never heard of this....I am sure just like eating disorders people were doing it, but with that old mindset of not airing dirty laundry and all???????? My daughter is in an all girls school.......high school........and it is so prevelant they've had two assemblies with speakers each year........same with eating disorders..........I know she was starting to cut........I actually knew when she started biting herself..........she'd have the ring of teeth with broken skin....I did take her for help and that was that.......as far as I know she's not doing it now, but I don't see her so I don't know. I'm sorry you guys are going through and went through such pain.......that's good you are deciding to get help and got help........thanks......all the best to you all. | ||
Posts: 20
Joined: May 6, 2007
Posted: May 6, 2007, 5:14 PM
Hi..I used to cut as a teen.It was a way to FEEL something. I had to hold everything in and act like "my world" was ok..but the feelings had to come out so I started cutting my legs where noone would see. It also proved that I was alive as I felt dead inside. I only did this for a period of 6 months or so..and then I started drinking in place of cutting. I have been suffering from one addiction or another my whole lifetime.I am here now as I am addicted to pain meds and want to get off this merry go round for GOOD. I want to live life-HAPPY, without the use of any addictions.
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Posts: 653
Joined: March 17, 2007
Posted: July 4, 2007, 12:39 AM
Hi Lixie, Cia & Jimmyjangles
I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with cutting. We addicts always feel shamed by our "not normal" methods of coping. Cutting is NOT rare, and like has already been posted ,just hasn't been talked about until recently. If you haven't, do a search on the web, just type in "cutting" There is a wealth of information and ways of dealing with the compulsion to cut. I'm proud of you guys for having the courage to talk about what you are struggling with, I hope you take the time to feel proud of yourselves. wishing you all the best.. Cookster | ||
Posts: 8683
Joined: April 24, 2007
Posted: July 4, 2007, 8:41 PM
Hi -
My girl was a cutter for three years and it freaked us out until we understood it better. There are many excellent books on the subject and most are easy reads. Stacey, my daughter also described the almost preternatural calm that came over her just before cutting - it's that she knew relief was coming. Wiuth no other outlet for the overwhelming feelings she was having that was how she sought relief. Also, the endorphin rush is huge, as intense as many drugs. BUT BE CAREFUL!! It is one of the most highly addictive activities you can indulge in and can become dangerous as the need to cut becomes more intense and persistent. High risk of infection and accidents also exist. My daughter wanted to cut so badly that even in a completely safe and supervised environment without sharp object of any kind, she managed to pull a staple out of a sheaf of papers and save it to carve the word "HELP" on her leg. She also started burning and allowing others to burn her and she never cared if anyone saw her scars or cuts. Once she went to rehab things improved and daily therapy got those damaging feelings out in more productive ways. She hasn't cut now for two years and feels odd about having done it because she's so distanced from the behavior now that it seems sort of unreal. If you are scaring yourself you may want to seek help from a cutting specialist, but do it for you and judgments of others be da*ned. Your doctor would be unlikely to put you in a hospital for it as it is as common as everyone else here posted. If that is a major fear then find a specialist. Peace~MomNMore -------------------- You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.  | ||
Posts: 404
Joined: July 24, 2006
Posted: February 1, 2008, 6:02 PM
Hi I thought this thread was very relavant to me. I have been cutting for 7 years since I was 16. I'm a Borderline Personality Disorder and I found cutting a way of coping with my overwhelming emotions. I have actually been cutting less over the past few months as my new medication kicked in... I have been on the receiving end of a lot of 'nastiness' having blokes tell me I'm a complete nutter, then they find out you cut and they run a mile... If only more people understood this behaviour... It's a way of feeling... I wont go into too much details because I know things like this can be a trigger for others...
Izzy This post has been edited by Izzy on February 1, 2008, 6:04 PM -------------------- "Dream as though you'll live forever... Live as though you'll die today." - James Dean... "You can't put your arms around a memory" - Johnny Thunders | ||
Posts: 829
Joined: January 26, 2008
Posted: February 8, 2008, 12:05 AM
Thank you for having the strength to start this thread...I used to cut about 5 years ago...each year since it has been sporadic. Most recent episode was in May 2006 and then some superficial cuts about 4 months ago. Not coincidently, since I am on day eight of no alcohol, I've thought about cutting the last 8 days. Yesterday and today the need was great....I actually instant messaged a friend and said, "today I am either going to drink or cut". Fortunately, I didn't do either.
It is so amazing to me how a coping mechanism that I haven't indulged in for quite some time has crept its way back into my brain and actually seems enticing at the moment the pain of sobriety is the worst. They are both ways for numbing, in my opinion. I am glad that for today I chose not to pick up either a drink or a knife/razor. Thanks for letting me share. -------------------- In spirit, Zipper The image in a mirror doesn't always reflect the condition of a soul - LN
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Posted: November 26, 2008, 6:11 PM
I started consciously "Cutting" at the age 9, before then it was more of an intentional accident where I knew I would end up bleeding.
I'm almost 28 years old and I still have days when I struggle with my Cutting. I can go for very long periods of time, where I feel as though I don't have to Cut, anymore, ever, then whenever someting serious in my personal / emotional life happens I loss control. I've been in and out of counseling most my life, I know why I attack myself this way and I know the damage that it causes both physically by leaving scars all over my body and emotionally, but I as yet have not been able to conquer this. I am more aware of my triggers and make conscious decisions "not" to cut, and they have overpowered many, many times over my urge to succumb. I am in counseling once again and will continue to stay there until I have a stronger hold and control over this issue. ...Although I fall victim to my "Cutting", I always hold onto the positive things and tools that I have learned and gained throughout the years of counseling. I wish everyone all the best and hope "We" are all able to overcome this ordeal Take Care...Jahzarn... | ||
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Posted: December 16, 2008, 6:16 PM
I haven't had a problem with cutting so much as self harm in general. I believe that it's all the same. It's like drug addiction, but everyone has a different way of getting their fix. | ||
Posts: 23
Joined: April 16, 2009
Posted: May 13, 2009, 6:08 PM
Hi everyone out there, i am a IVuser to Heroin and have been on and off for 13 years that also includes the methodone and near on 17 years on Vals, but tryed a bit of everything in my time. I stumbled across this page as i am a self-harmer also but never really looked at it the same it started about 4 years ago when the social police took my children and how ever hard i tryed they made it harder i was fighting a losing battle so tryed to strangle myself oh this was after the doctor put me on anti depresants, he told me it would get worst before better i would also hold myself under the bath hoping i would not be found but my boyfriend was keeping a close watch over me, i was very close a few times when him and his friend dragged me out and gave me mouth to mouth. When i was taken to the hospital as i cut my arm and cut through a ligament the ppl in white coats(we call them the cordroys) came to see me looked at my marks over my body and knew i wanted it for real. Theres crying wolf and crying for help, dont cry wolf if you want to live as it will happen even though i am not sceared of dieing. I feel i am also addicted to sleep as i pick my meths up 3 times a week Mon,Wed and Fridays the rest of my time i am in bed, i got told the more you sleep the more you want. I got of my sleepers 2 years ago now and my boyfriend hates it that he cant sleep and i can but he wont get help and i need my own medication. Well thats me for tonight thanks 4 listening hugs Merca
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Posts: 14
Joined: May 22, 2009
Posted: May 23, 2009, 12:57 AM
ive been cutting since i was 15 im now 21 and i still do it. its not an easy habbit to get out of i stopped doin it for 6month at one point. i once cut to deep and had to go to the hospital that worried me a little. if u ever need to speak to me about it send me a message. if you do continue to do it make sure u use a clean object for cutting and clean ur skin before and after to stop infections. try to find an alternative to your problem try hitting ur matress or putting a tight elastic band around ur wrist and keep flicking it. that gives the same sensation of cutting i dont know if it will work for u but its worth a try.
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