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Message Board > Marijuana > Crossfaded Daily

Posted by: Chelle March 13, 2017, 6:15 PM
Hi everybody. I'm a 34 year old female who drinks and smokes daily, and I am just feeling super alone. I really want to stop but I have tried and tried and it seems to no avail. I am hoping that this addiction medicine specialist I signed up with from Kaiser will help me. I've tried so many times to stop and I don't understand why this s*** has such a hold on me. I guess it's better to use these substances rather than crack or something hard like that, is what I keep telling myself. But I know it is stopping me from reaching my true potential. In the last year I have gained over 50 pounds from overeating while high. I feel truly stuck and it bothers me that the people around me don't understand and don't know how to help me. I have asthma so smoking worries me, I don't wanna develop COPD in the future. My doctor told me if I keep smoking weed that is going to happen. Does anybody have any advice on what to do? While I'm at work I think about it constantly. How when I get home I will spark up and crack open a beer. It will just be the same thing everyday, and on the other hand I fantasize about going to my yoga class, and how good I'm gonna feel, and I just. wont. go. I am so beyond frustrated with myself. I recently moved to a new city where I work, and left an abusive relationship. I know that I was using daily to deal with living with him. But I feel I carried it over to my new place. I honestly don't know what to do with myself. I don't have supportive friends or family. I mean I do, somewhat, my coworkers give me advice but I never follow it. I guess I just keep getting by, and getting away with being high all the time. I don't see any way of getting out of it. Or wanting to. That is what I need help with. How to convince myself to try!???

Posted by: Overfifty March 19, 2017, 8:03 AM
You are so worth it !! Leaving an abusive relationship is a feat all in itself. Your going to be seeing a specialist soon. Have you ever checked out AA/NA meetings? They really help a lot of people overcome their obstacles that they are dealing with. If your not comfortable with that do you have any support where you live now? Keep posting your journey.

Posted by: Overfifty March 19, 2017, 8:10 AM
I also want to say give yourself a break. You have made a lot of changes recently and you could be grieving your past life as you now have moved. I left an abusive relationship and started going to NA and AA meetings. It really helped me.