Just A Hell Of A Video
Posted: October 31, 2016, 12:29 AM


Posts: 971
Joined: May 14, 2015



Yup..sorry can't be your bass player! I had never heard That band before..gonna check out more their music..love that sound..Bauhaus/This mortal coil. Well it's DEFINITELY good your feeling it again cause I know it can go one way or another. For me the creative things I loved to do got REALLY frustrating, and i would give up...but NEW things I loved..when my boyfriend was trying to teach me guitar I was having fun with that..I think because it was something I ALWAYS sucked at..but felt good and learned 'i wanna be your dog' iggy&the stooges..ha yeah very simple but better then just noise! As far as you getting back playing..I don't know if you are referring YOU playing sober or being around others that aren't? Yeah I f***ing hate technology and radio country which isn't country it's pop country..influenced or evolved idk...I grew up going to this awesome bluegrass festival..so definitely have love for that. I'll post a song I wanted to later since I don't know how to post multiple. Cause since you brought up ac/dc I had to post this!!!!!!!!! Ha https://youtu.be/SggV-XFKQ1w

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Posted: October 31, 2016, 12:31 AM


Posts: 971
Joined: May 14, 2015



Ha, meant I hate techno..BUT I often hate technology too!
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Posted: October 31, 2016, 7:45 AM


Posts: 2616
Joined: January 4, 2008



This mortal coil !!!! I didn't think ANYONE remembered !! Lol...I wore that out as a teen...!...guess Im referring to playing/creating sober and with others. ..figure it's either gonna save me or kill me...ACDC !! Sounds good this morning ....hilarious video !!!!
And just b/c it's an acdc kind of day...which I couldn't play if my life depended on it like angus...

http://youtu.be/gEPmA3USJdI

http://youtu.be/v2AC41dglnM


This post has been edited by constantine on October 31, 2016, 7:52 AM

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Posted: November 2, 2016, 2:37 AM


Posts: 971
Joined: May 14, 2015



Yes! Love them..I was 19 when I first heard them...an older s***ty boyfriend exposed Me to a little more music..well one good thing that came out of that relationship! As far as playing sober..yeah hopefully you'll get into it even more in a different way. I think if your having fun and not getting frustrated now is a good sign anyway. as far as with other people and scene or whatever that goes along with..then yeah. If your in garage with people with no temptations though then all good. Ok I'm gonna stray from acdc..oh what I wanted to post other day https://youtu.be/pjlOh47-Wt4

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Posted: November 2, 2016, 7:49 PM


Posts: 2616
Joined: January 4, 2008



Ooooohhh...thank you for that one ...love it !! .....here's one back for the day...but you have to skip to almost end of video to see her wail that fiddle.... damn...luv the violin/fiddle...my favorite instrument. ..that an a cello...always wished I'd learned both...

http://youtu.be/ic6LcOFiefc

and here's something from Germany....just to make ya smile..one of my favorite bands ever..

http://youtu.be/HfgJLo08V0Q

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Posted: November 3, 2016, 1:17 AM


Posts: 971
Joined: May 14, 2015



Haha how did you know im pretty guilty of skipping through songs and gave me the heads up! funny I almost told you same on that song/wanted you to hear chicks voice..That one definitely brought me back to the music festival I was talking about..blacked out first time there on Jack Daniels..pissed the sleeping bag I was sharing with my mom and 10 year old sister..think I was only allowed back once after. Yeah rammstein..That Is pretty ridiculous..the little marching thing made me start to laugh out loud a bit. Saying a lot cause laughing/smiling been non existent today. I'm in a whole new f***ing mess with meds I started taking several months ago. Ever since off methadone my sister (who i live with and takes all different s***) been trying telling me to get on psyche meds) i was on many ssris when late teens and..bad, worst being seizures. Anyway combination of things and sick of being told im crazy by her and my b/f..And definitely sometimes feeling crazy..I caved into something as a mood stabalizer..WELL I didn't know I would feel high when I took. Didn't take as prescribed..got extra because my sister takes and doctor has f***ed up and given me 200mg extra a couple months and got couple free bottles. This past week realized DAMN I'm just feeling ' my Normal' for a good while now and pretty soon I will be f***ed. So start tapering now..Past week? Not even sure how many days..haven't been sleeping. Shouldn't have complained about that until today hit and heart racing whole time I'm out just trying to rush to safety of where I stay. I've barely dropped anything too....f*** I'm SOOO mad at myself been down this road, thought I learned..well least the script just got filled and didn't wait till a** out, but reading horror stories of course. So s*** i was almost embarrassed to say anything on this board about..well guess I have cause haven't brought up..but then remembered 'addiction' is first word of the site.. anyway rambling.. is what it is. So was gonna post one of my favorites of this guy but just heard this one first time today and had on repeat https://youtu.be/i1VJWwRI0rI

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Posted: November 3, 2016, 1:45 AM


Posts: 971
Joined: May 14, 2015



Realized I just unloaded lots of s***.. on what should now be the 'just hella video's page. so I'm not trippin on any words of wisdom.. 'damn that sucks would be welcome even, or nothing at all. Just needed to vent and be honest with myself and telling others helps that for sure..
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Posted: November 3, 2016, 2:52 AM


Posts: 2616
Joined: January 4, 2008



What are you going on about...this is a fcking drug forum...your supposed to unload here ...if not here...where ? ...and ..hey...drugs Sex and rock n roll...been a combination since forever...lol....damn addiction. ...I totally get it. ..so frking easy to just slide back into the space...I haven't been doing all that well myself lately sad to say. ..so far 50 some odd days and now two set backs...this time round..more than a day pick up...struggling to put it back down. ..just when I think I turned the corner...I find myself using. ..again...hang in there. .. all we can do...is keep trying. ...miss my dose sometimes. ...not all the time. ..but...ya...you know ? ....I'll look for something musical in the archives later..cheer us up...haven't listened yet to what you laid down yet...smiles. ..

This post has been edited by constantine on November 3, 2016, 2:53 AM
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Posted: November 3, 2016, 8:42 AM


Posts: 1905
Joined: October 23, 2011



I put 1 foot in front of the other ......

I just have to come to know/realize if I'm walking in circles or toward the light.

Putting 1 foot in front of the other isn't that hard - maintaining the light is.
It entails unravelling all my illusion/delusion/denial....and " a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. "

I couldn't/can't do it alone, humanly or spiritually.

One of the guys in the recovery home in '89 asked me:
"Are you carrying the word or spreading the disease?"
(that is a very good question to ask myself throughout my day)

Off to my meeting - all the best.

Bob R

--------------------
Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf


AA's HOW IT WORKS:
Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf


NA's HOW IT WORKS:
http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf


----------------------------------------------------------------

--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.


...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.


--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !


---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.


---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.


... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.


---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .


"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr


WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)
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Posted: November 3, 2016, 11:32 AM


Posts: 2616
Joined: January 4, 2008



Your right...and that hit me hard...I'll work on it PB....soo...im guessing Floyds comfortably numb might not be a good pick today...sorry...crap like that is my first reflex...I'm working on that too...well....i was actually going to post it ...but then read your post...

This post has been edited by constantine on November 3, 2016, 11:33 AM
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Posted: November 3, 2016, 2:44 PM


Posts: 971
Joined: May 14, 2015



Yup keep trying definitely..man I'm having hard enough time putting one foot in front of other to do what i gotta do today..but yeah walking in circles..I feel like I've Been on a good path and I HAVE..but yeah circles at same time trying to get motivation and not just live...but LIVE..
not always like that but often..it will be alright we will be alright..more without the circles for sure. https://youtu.be/tOoDDvY7xNI his last line he says hits me hard..I'm first born of three and have had guilt being 'bad influence' or what not. first hip hop/rap show I had been to and got him to do that part with me after show. First comment is me where I quote line if you don't finish..
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Posted: November 4, 2016, 7:59 PM


Posts: 2616
Joined: January 4, 2008



Hey MK...I feel ya...circles...ya...out of time tonight but will ricochet back tomorrow....hang in there....I have to believe we'll both get there...
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Posted: November 5, 2016, 8:18 PM


Posts: 971
Joined: May 14, 2015



Yeah..have to cause if not..well then might as well throw arms up in air and not worth it. You doing better? Last couple days been f***ing weird..bad then okay..btw it's gabapentin/neurotin im talking about. Know this the heroin board but getting brought up here. For anyone reading this the doctors will tell you you won't get a high off/abuse..don't listen that's bulls***. For any kind of opiate w/d... your going through so much that no won't feel a high and I believe good to take TEMPORARILY..but if you have a lot of clean time under your belt..I would say don't f*** with it. brain fog..nightmares.insomnia anxiety..plus a f***ed up long term drug in general. I read opiate and cocaine addicts most likely to abuse...just throwing out there..
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Posted: November 7, 2016, 1:44 AM


Posts: 2616
Joined: January 4, 2008



Been a long strange trip the last week for sure....opiates...of any kind...for any of us ...kick starts the cycle....true....im pulling out...doing better.. .clarity..... http://youtu.be/IPdQazt1kMY
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Marykat
Posted: November 7, 2016, 9:23 PM







Thing is it's not an opiate..it's an anticonvulsant to treat nerve damage..with a million and one off label uses...yeah mid December will be three years i touched an opiate of any kind (including methadone in that) but anyway i will stop rambling about that...for now!!!! have to listen later killing boyfriends battery...my phone broke i don't remember password..notice i dropped the 80..
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Posted: November 8, 2016, 1:00 AM


Posts: 2616
Joined: January 4, 2008



Hey MK without the 80....ya...your right...I didn't read your post properly. ..I've been quick stopping in too....talk soon...its supposed to snow out here tonight...yea ! I love snow..um...the kind that the weather produces that is..lol..

Ps...man..detox on any level...just sucks...can't believe I'm doing another rattle. ..mini one at least...ugh

This post has been edited by constantine on November 8, 2016, 2:02 AM
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Posted: November 8, 2016, 9:13 AM


Posts: 1905
Joined: October 23, 2011



I like the guy who said:
"Having to go to AA/NA really sucks !! ... but if you are an addict/alcoholic and don't go, it sucks worse !!"

I have a choice today.

Gotta go - meeting called O:)

--------------------
Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf


AA's HOW IT WORKS:
Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf


NA's HOW IT WORKS:
http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf


----------------------------------------------------------------

--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.


...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.


--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !


---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.


---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.


... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.


---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .


"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr


WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)
  Top
Posted: November 8, 2016, 12:03 PM


Posts: 2616
Joined: January 4, 2008



I'm feeling some Junkie rage...

(There are two links each...2nd one is the international..but first is better ...pics in videos can't do much about...hard enough to find crap that the gema hasn't banned...)

https://youtu.be/hVyGTIeSR-E?list=RDhVyGTIeSR-E

https://youtu.be/1Iflx7Pdpgc


https://youtu.be/GqmRDV0a_70

[https://youtu.be/cZjGDYpQACc https://youtu.be/CB3Gv4oZdWo?


list=RDCB3Gv4oZdWo]https://youtu.be/CB3Gv4oZdWo?list=RDCB3Gv4oZdWo[/URL]

https://youtu.be/aTWd3kKRuW0

Xtra...

https://youtu.be/O0YxeTjFn70

This post has been edited by constantine on November 8, 2016, 4:17 PM
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Posted: November 9, 2016, 10:38 PM


Posts: 971
Joined: May 14, 2015



I guess there's some supernatural force that doesnt want me typing cause this is the THIRD time!!!! Or my new phone piece of s***..so im saying nothing what i said before..except hope your hangin in.
And my heads gonna explode and this album always calming to me..never seen video til today..https://youtu.be/rfM8YSOsnaE
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Posted: November 10, 2016, 5:51 AM


Posts: 2616
Joined: January 4, 2008



Ahhhhh....Tiamat....thanks for that. ..took a good long listen through their albums for awhile. ..had to actually leave work and call in today...that damn sick..so...music was good....the s*** we go through. ..honestly...we're really fcking insane...how are you doing with everything?...I've had trouble too posting...annoying. ..encountering that supernatural force too lately I guess....Tiamat back at ya...

https://youtu.be/9uyUFBn8-SY




This post has been edited by constantine on November 10, 2016, 5:56 AM
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