1 Year Weed Clean - My Life Will Never Be The Same
KeepingTheBalance
Posted: March 30, 2016, 6:39 PM







For all you weed smokers out there with all your paranoia, this is because you are not exercising enough, go out and buy a cheap push bike off eBay or wherever and start going for a 20min bike ride three times a week, instead of just sitting at the computer or in front of the tv watching mindless s*** you have most likely already watched before.

Also stop smoking that strong skunk s*** if you can, if you do smoke that then try get hold of like anti anxiety weed like bubblegum haze, if not then stick to home grown or hash.

Another tip is to smoke only after you have done what you needed to do in the day. Don't wake up and have a morning doob if you have work, just don't, you will feel much better not being high around people that are also not high.

Either keep smoking to when you know you ain't got s*** to do or just f*** it off and quit.

The other thing is most of you weed smokers know most of what I'm saying already, but you still don't do f all about it, if you don't start trying to change now then why will you in the future?

Also remember if you stop smoking weed, after a while your orgasms will be like 10000 X times more powerful! if only that last bit was true ey? Only one way to find out.
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Posted: April 1, 2016, 10:01 AM


Posts: 1905
Joined: October 23, 2011



For a true addict/alcoholic there is, in the end, no substance "balance".

There is only abstinence-

For many of us it takes half a lifetime to see this - many don't live to see it.

Many of us suffer horribly trying to prove that simple truth wrong.

All the best.

Bob R

--------------------
Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf


AA's HOW IT WORKS:
Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf


NA's HOW IT WORKS:
http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf


----------------------------------------------------------------

--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.


...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.


--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !


---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.


---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.


... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.


---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .


"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr


WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)
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Itsworthit
Posted: May 4, 2016, 9:49 PM







This is exactly me. Exactly, it's scary. I've always wondered if anyone out there was like me. But I can't get clean.
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Ryan
Posted: May 7, 2016, 6:47 PM







Message for Papa bear, you probably don't remember me, go back to a post I did around the 1st Jan 2015 on this same thread. I was around the 10 days clean mark and trying to celebrate my success, you unfortunately looked down on my achievements and told me to come back a year from then and you would see who's methods worked. Well this is to let you know, I'm still clean, through will alone I got to where to needed to be. No meetings, no therapy, just me. I vowed I would stay clean and I have. Each to their own, always remember that
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dragon
Posted: May 21, 2016, 4:57 PM







Its 5 months now, like it doesn't really get better, because a reason emerged to start using it in the first place, like a brain damage is a consciousness damage, the social anxiety disorder, paranoia, its all a consciousness issue, a "you" issue. I feel like I need a reset of some sort. Like loosing your humanness, becoming something else inside the same body. All I can do now is admire others and hope less people get into this trap. damn.
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JoeyEscapeIsland
Posted: June 7, 2016, 7:59 PM







You're not alone can't say too much but some people have symptoms before drug use similar to yours and after it makes it worse. Being dependent on the drug and missing what it gave you is what it is. Life isnt easy. Try finding a hobby, exercise, walk drink water and have a good travel and talking companion of the same sex. It will take time but it will help get you through life after what has happened even if you cannot fully advance. Talk to family don't go back to it or you can create more distance with your family. It's not just mental it turns physical with marijuana hang in there.
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Tom
Posted: June 9, 2016, 5:23 PM







I smoked all day nearly every day for about 35 years. It was always an effective anti-depressant, it made things more enjoyable, and I just felt better high. It made me happier. But, I was always worried about losing my job or getting arrested. Plus, I lost many wonderful things as a result of my use. Not long ago I asked God to make me want to quit, to make me what I should be. It seems to have worked. I regret having spent my life in such a way but nothing can be done about that now. But, I do believe God made the change when I asked. I just wish I'd asked 35 years earlier.
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Forever Faithfull
Posted: June 13, 2016, 5:01 PM







Dear All,

It is now June 2016 and I know the posts are a bit old but I am so happy I found you all!
I was also a cannabis addict and I must say it was probably the worst thing that's ever happened to me. But now I found these posts and I feel better ;). I'm glad they say the brain can heal itself and recover 'cause I also developed chronic depression, anxiety attacks, agoraphobia, paranoia, sometimes hallucinations. It's been 3 an a half years since I haven't smoked so I'm glad I've made such a big change! However I still keep struggling everyday I can't get out of bed I don't feel like working or seeing people but the good thing is i'm trying to keep myself positive. I went to see a bio energetic doctor, and in case anybody wonders, these doctors are the best! so if any of you has an emergency please go to these doctors. They balanced my chakras and I felt better! The journey is still going I hope in the next months/years my brain can recover completely and life gets back to good again! As a personal experience I'd never recommend people to smoke weed, like ever, ever. It is a terrible addiction and then your brain doesn't respond to anything. Only weed makes you happy and life is not supposed to be that way. I hope that we can all be here and support each other because reading your posts has definitely made me feel better. Let's keep it going, we'll make it through!! All the love and best wishes for you!!
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Posted: July 2, 2016, 12:53 AM


Posts: 1546
Joined: June 27, 2016



Hi Ben and others, if you come back to the post.... try alternative medicine. acupuncture, massage, homeopathy, naturopathic doctor, cranial sacral therapy, yoga, ti chi, keep trying until you find the one that works.

This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on July 2, 2016, 12:53 AM
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maj
Posted: July 3, 2016, 12:53 AM







Hi ben,

I just wanted to give you some food for thought. as a heavy smoker myself who has been struggling with quitting for a long time, I can realte to the feeling of emptiness which come after quitting. the highs you used to feel were quite intense dont forget, and in my opinion your having a hard time re-adjusting to the less intense but pleasurable activites,in life, such as all non drug users feel.

you want to enjoy life like everybody else yes? the best is not only to quit, but to come to a point where weed doesnt even come to your mind. not in a good way or a bad way,just not at all. forget it forever. imagine you woken from a coma, and that youve forgotten ur past life and mistakes. or that your addiction was a disease and now you are cured. you want to enjoy the less intense pleasures in life (which takes time) which overall bring you long term HAPPINESS, rather than short term pleasure

I would also like to add that drug user or not, many people find it hard to be happy. that is because of an emptiness which people feel they have in their lives. everybody copes differently,but people like me try hide from it by drgging myself everyday...the best advice i can give you, is to try and find MEANING in your life. make a life which you feel its like a mission, from birth to death ,that there is always something WORTH doing, worth getting up for, worth fighting for....many people turn to religeon as they find it gives meaning to their lives,,and gives them hope that after death there are good things to come..and tht ife is not meaningless...not even to animals and plants so imagine how worthy your life is a human. know that without doing anything, your body and mind are living miracles of which we still cannot comprehend. and also know that...there is a watcher who knows your pain...and loves you dearly..try to find find him..hes your creator and you will feel safe and happy with the aid of the merciful

I take my hat off to you,for doing so wlel.please keep it up. i type all this also to help myself also and thanks for sharing
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Posted: July 3, 2016, 4:08 AM


Posts: 1
Joined: July 3, 2016



Ben,

I quit smoking for 6 months now, yes I feel how you do but I also think you haven't gone to the gym.

I hired a personal trainer, am now 15 pounds heavier in muscle. I feel so confident, still paranoid and i have difficulty sleeping/eating/staying calm in crowded rooms, but now I walk like I am a work in progress and can overcome any problem with time. That's the confidence the gym gives, not big muscles but the ability for your brain to accept that it can improve and change to get better results, try it out man!
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Glenn
Posted: July 4, 2016, 3:09 AM







Hey Ben!
Thank you for sharing your experience and struggles. I feel so relieved to know that I'm not alone in my own struggles with post-marijuana depression and anxiety.

Some personal info:
I did marijuana starting in late high school, around 18 years old. At first it was just once every few months with friends. It wasn't until college that I started to use marijuana heavily, about three times per day for a little over a year. It helped a lot with the stress that came with the increased course workload, and the fraternity guys I was hanging-out with at the time were into smoking and experimenting with other drug use. The only other drug I tried was shrooms which I did once and had an ok experience at a beach.
It was during a party my senior year that I had my first full on panic attack/mental breakdown. I had already pounded five beers when I was offered a bong with a bowl that I now think was laced with something else other than weed. I took a huge hit, and immediately started to feel that something was wrong. I went to my room, feeling paranoid and upset. I started having flashbacks of my childhood, all the bad memories of times where I was alone, afraid and angry at the world. After that experience, I strongly believed there was something wrong with me, and searched obsessively for a possible diagnoses to explain why I was feeling so isolated from other people. For the last 3 months of my senior year, I thought I was possibly schizophrenic, sociopathic, psychopathic, narcissitic, had dementia, alzheimers, or a stroke. I felt disassociated with myself for 5 months and had to see a therapist after coming to the conclusion that I had to stop dumping my problems on my family and friends. I became increasingly judgmental and critical of others' behaviors that reflected values that did not align with the values I was trying to instill on myself. In short, I've been struggling to build new relationships with other people and maintaining the ones I already have.

Conclusion:
I'm currently almost 1-year clean of marijuana use. I've started exercising regularly and eating healthier. I stopped seeing the therapist and taking anti-depressants. I've been reading a lot of self-help books that concentrate on re-framing the way I think to change the way I feel. So far, I haven't religiously followed the advice offered in the books, but I will be starting to meditate on a regular basis. My hope is that practicing meditation will help to remove my current thought-patterns and will reboot my brain or create new neural pathways that will override my current thought pattern.
This one quote had helped me tremendously in picking me up during these past months, and it has helped me to see myself in a different light.
"You are a unique expression of universal consciousness and your uniqueness is reflected in the preferences and desires that your physical being comes up with...[each] of your desires has huge value because it causes expansion in life and you act as a co-creator of new realities"- Sen, CDM.
By posting your experience with marijuana and your struggles as a result of stopping, you have made a positive impact in my life. I don't feel as alone as I once did, and your perspective has helped me to accept my own perspective based on my experience with marijuana.
I wish you and others good fortune and health on life's journey, and I hope for all to get back on their feet and walking tall again.
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BRANDON
Posted: July 24, 2016, 3:50 AM







Brother you could have add/adhd really bad like me. I read the post I have the same symptoms. You should seriously see a psycholist and be evaluated for it. Addereal changed my life. I started smoking pot at 16 smoked pot everyday till a few months ago. Sometimes are desicion making and our moods. We can't help because some of us arnt born with the electricity that we need like other people have. It effects are life style. Exercise helps also. I lost someone too. Don't ignore it there is also a natural way from the Chinese they found the natural cure kinda like balancing like karate kid for 15 mins a day creates new chemicals in the brain. But those symtoms that sounds like more like you missing chemicals that you don't have. Research about it. And don't be embarrassed about it. It could be the best choice you ever made. Its life changing it's almost like your starting off reborn. I quit weed and still didn't feel any better but once I took adderal life hasn't been such a struggle. I am against the adderall. But all my goals haven't been accomplished. In the future I'll be turning to the natural way. But I have no time to waist. Trust that I know I really think I should be the poster for this syndrome I have it really bad. Good luck.
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Posted: July 24, 2016, 11:37 AM


Posts: 1905
Joined: October 23, 2011



I see a lot of folks with "issues" in recovery. I am one of them.

It is well addressed in the first paragraph of AA's HOW IT WORKS:
"there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental ...."
It's part of being an alcoholic/addict for the most of us in my experience.

The substance is just the symptom that the world sees - the tip of the iceberg.

Once we have got clean/sober now we have to LIVE clean/sober -
that is the trick and that is where the daily working of a recovery program is necessary.

Simply put: Once I got rid of the alcohol I was left with the Alcoholism.
I had to begin to change my ways - to grow up - to mature.
TO GET BETTER (one day at a time)

I came to recovery with a drinking/drug problem but I came mentally/emotionally/physically/spiritually bankrupt.
Putting the booze/drugs down allowed me to begin to address the large, hidden underlying problem(s) that started to surface and I had nowhere to run anymore.

That is the fear/anxiety/remorse/guilt/shame/hate that we are left with and have to address.

I and millions of others address our ISMs at AA/NA meetings regularly around the world.

All the best.

Bob R

--------------------
Serenity Prayer
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous

Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line:
Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf


AA's HOW IT WORKS:
Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf


NA's HOW IT WORKS:
http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf


----------------------------------------------------------------

--- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.

---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

... I need AA more than it needs me.

--- I fight recovery tooth and nail....
I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural.


...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know.

---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it.
Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it.


--- I didn't have a very happy childhood
but I sure am having a long one !


---Dry since 1989
working daily on getting/staying SOBER.


---If you want to drink, that's your business
...If you want to quit, that's AA's business.


... Tell me, I'll forget;
... Show me, I'll remember;
... Engage me, I'll understand.


---Most problems are psychological.
Most solutions are spiritual .


"If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego."
--Richard Rohr


WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do)
  Top
Jose
Posted: August 24, 2016, 11:33 AM







Want to thank everyone in this thread and board for sharing their stories. I'm trying to quit myself and have been going through a lot lately. Last time I smoked was 2 days ago with a friend, but it's been 2 weeks since I've bought (which is good). Yesterday was really tough because my urge was off the charts. I paced around my apartment for an hour and then finally tried to go to sleep. It took a while, but I did fall asleep eventually and when I woke up I was so proud I didn't give in to hitting up my dealer.

With that said, this is much tougher than I thought. I was always in denial about being an 'addict' of weed. I've been smoking off and on for 15 years, but now, I'm 34, jobless, massive debt, alone and depressed. Not saying weed is the reason, there are a lot of factors, but being a consistent smoker has certainly not helped things.

I would say the longest I've ever gone without smoking is a couple weeks. But now, I can't ration myself like I used to. Maybe some people can smoke once a week, or basically keep it sporadic enough that it's not as unhealthy - but I'm not one of those people. I seem to be a binger of anything I do now. When I buy, I smoke non-stop. When I drink, I binge. When I eat, I binge. And now I binge watching TV. I can't seem to find myself to do anything productive.

However, reading this forum has given me hope. I'm thankful my withdrawal symptoms are not as severe as many on here. I'm hopeful I can get through this because I know I have something offer this world. I wish I could live in a world and smoke all day and not worry about a thing. However, society will chew you up and spit you out - as least it will to many of us. I consider myself intelligent and attractive, but that does not matter. This stuff (while better than alcohol and other drugs IMO) has made me into a disappointment and a cautionary tale.

Anyway, wish everyone the very best and good luck to anyone making positive changes in their life.
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Steve
Posted: August 25, 2016, 6:47 PM







I am a father of an 18 year old who is suffering terribly after stopping using weed after only a relatively short period of about 7 months. At 16 his first year at college went well and his 2nd year started well and he got an apprenticeship. Unfortunately in this 2nd year he met an existing user who got him on weed. We had always told our kids of the dangers and how important it was to stay off drugs or even cigarettes but understand the ease at which kids can believe so called friends rather than their parents. We were unaware he had started but now understand after about 3 months of starting he started using larger amounts and we noticed in the last 4 weeks of him using he was going out after coming back from work at about 8.30pm and getting back at 1.30am. He had to get up at 7am for work. ( He has since lost his apprenticeship because of this). His work started to suffer and eventually he had a massive panic attack and felt suicidal. It was then he admitted to smoking weed. We were devastated. We took him to our doctor and took him to a local recovery unit at the doctor's advice.The advice was to stop seeing these people and stop using or decrease usage. His so called friend who got him into weed and who sold it to him did all he could to threaten him into continuing. That was until we got our sons phone and I managed to get this person away from our son. It was suggested that his withdrawal would be OK and we hoped there would be a gradual improvement. After a couple of days it was tuff but he seemed to respond well to getting back on track. but paranoia started to be noticable and after 2 weeks the paranoia has been terribly upsetting. We visited the recovery clinic today but they were were unable to help until he got his paranoia under control as he is unable to comprehend any advice or help as he believes they are not who they are. Our N.H.S. doctor was so supportive and saw him immediately. He prescribed sleeping pills to try and get him to get some rest as he hasn't slept very much since stopping. Sleep and rest should help in his recovery in the short term. It would seem our son is the 1 in 4 users who have a catastrophic reaction to weed by either becoming addicted or increasing already underlying characteristics like anxiety that some teenagers may have. It is also fact that teenagers brains are still developing up to about 21 years old and WILL be damaged by the use of weed. We are 2 weeks into this now and am so worried about the damage caused. We have been told by the doctor he has seen a lot worse and feels he has a good chance of recovery from the weed but added he may well need specialist treatment for mental issues as a result of this on his self esteem and anxiety. When lucid our son admitted using weed but stressed he was only ever under the impression he was smoking normal weed. But due to the severe paranoia after 2 weeks of coming off weed, the recovery clinic has suggested that he may have been sold synthetic weed which looks the same as normal weed or maybe a much stronger weed that is now available. The last 2 days some 13 days after stopping he is unable to talk at all rationally. He believes we need to leave the house as they ( just about everybody) want to get us. I am grateful to all those who have shared their struggle on blogs etc as the more young people read about the damage caused by cannabis the less likely they may decide to start using. My heart goes out to you all and your loved ones who have to see you going through this. We have found a great deal of help is available but only wished kids would take more time to look into the negatives of drugs rather than take a chance. They have a 25% chance they or their parents will be writing the next blog. Wishing you all well and a recovery you are aiming for.
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Jubellie
Posted: March 13, 2017, 10:51 PM







The answer is YES. It all gets easier. If you replace the old habit (smoking) with new, good habits (walking, swimming, reading, cross stitch, whatever you like!) then after a couple of months you have new habits.
I smoked for about 15 years and gave up in January. Passed a drug test last week so I know it's all gone from my system. I feel stronger, positive, energetic and brighter mentally. My brain is sharper, I can focus better and express myself more concisely. I can look people in the eye when we meet and have more confidence in myself. I have better charge of my emotions which is a fairly new development. Quitting weed was the greatest gift I have ever given myself and I'm so grateful to God that he got me through this. Please everyone just hang in there and don't give up on giving up. Life is out there waiting for you to embrace it. Peace xxx
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Jack
Posted: January 7, 2018, 9:44 PM







Hi all,

Just a quick message - I posted on here a few times back in January 2015 when I was in the process of giving up smoking weed. 3 years on and I haven't smoked since. There's plenty of good material on here but if anyone is finding things tough take hope that it is possible to make it work.

Reading back what I wrote a in 2015 was interesting - thank you to everyone that has posted on here.
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