|First off, I am crazy because I had a near death experience back in 2017 when my liver failed but I began drinking again earlier this year. So yeah, I am clearly an idiot at least. Since I started drinking again my mind has felt like a giant cloud, like I am not in this world but looking down on myself half the time. It is VERY hard to explain, I have amazing high moments where I feel like I can take on the world followed by in-the-trenches low moments. I started drinking heavy around 2010. Back in 2017 I fell to the ground leaving work, me legs completely gave out, had to have an ambulance come pick me up. When I got to the hospital my sodium and potassium levels were close to fatal. My liver wasn't processing nutrients at all basically, they stuffed me full of vitamins for a week in ICU then moved me to a facility to learn how to walk all over again basically, it was so terrifying. I finally got back on my feet (literally) and was sober for 20 months. The idiot I am went back to the bottle when life got hectic again, but I feel like I am losing my mind. The only way I can explain it is a cloud, in my head, critical thinking is gone, interactions with others is one of the hardest things I can comprehend, I don't know what else to say really. Am I losing it?