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Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > Detached From Alkie And They're Still Scamming


Posted by: samegame February 12, 2021, 1:33 PM
After years/decades of having to endure an alcoholic family member I have been able to mostly detach myself from their life. Long story short on the verge of closing out an estate from passed parent. Even got my share of proceeds from sale of their house as did others in the estate)

Anyway while closing the estate including selling stuff the alkie got upset when he found out I had gotten rid of some of my stuff over a decade ago(ownership never in question). He wanted to include my stuff in with some of their stuff to make the sale easier( I had some more valuable or rare things). He also got mad I sold some of my other stuff on my own and he felt entitled to a piece of the proceeds because it came out of the house( my stuff, zero doubt as to ownership). Now he's getting mad because I'm starting to use my portion of house proceeds(already legally divided up) because he wanted to pool our money together with a financial advisor because they prefer clients with more money. He's actually miffed I don't have a large sum of money sitting in one bank account, says I should close every account and place it with an advisor.

Call it gall or nerve I still can't get over that sense of entitlement to my or other's money/stuff. He's literally like a gangster demanding a piece of a store owner's business because they think it's their turf. They even got mad at the new owners of the house because they would not hold or forward their mail because he wanted to continue to use that address like an enabling parent let them for decades.

Good news I moved out of the area almost 50 miles away from them, haven't done a designated driver run in a year. Only have to talk to them to handle a little bit of remaining estate business.

But the nerve

Posted by: mtnmom February 12, 2021, 6:29 PM
Good for you SameGame!! Moving on & moving up, taking care of yourself. Death of parents sometimes brings out the worst in people, especially when those people have been showing their worst sides for years. You have done enough, now you need to care for yourself.

Our siblings can treat us badly, staying away doesn't mean we don't love them. It means there comes a time in everyone's life where difficult choices HAVE to be made for our own self preservation & sanity. Let the alkie torture himself over his own guilt & sadness for not being the man he should have been.

You take care & please continue to check in with us

Posted by: NyToFlorida February 13, 2021, 11:43 PM
I’m glad you are finally away from the daily frustration of dealing with your sibling’s addictive behavior. It is so much easier to ignore it from a distance and to be in control of when you do deal with it. It is so interesting, that he wants to still find ways to keep you involved. Whether it is by keeping a conflict going or financially having a hand in your pockets. (What’s your is mine)

My brother and I split up our grandparents household many years ago. Whatever landed at his house is his and whatever landed at my house was mine. Over the years we were open to sharing or trading, but not dwelling on who got what or where things went. we both still have a pile of things to get rid of. We are both trying to get to a minimalist place regarding our stuff. I’m trying to say I think you are on the healthier side of the fence. Wanting closure and peace.

Posted by: Sallyann February 17, 2021, 7:09 PM
Yes good for you samegame! He really sounds delusional to me. I'm happy you live far away and you can enjoy your own life.

PS I'm now Sallyann (was Sallyana...had to resign in)