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|Message Board > Marijuana > I Can't Stop Smoking Marijuana!!|
|Posted by: Momma1 August 6, 2012, 12:48 AM|
|Hello, I am having problem! I cant stop smoking marijuana! I have been smoking it for the last 9 years straight, went from smoking a quarter a day to 3 times a day. My boyfriend thought 3 times a day was still to much and he was getting very pissed because he hates marijuana and just thinks its stupid! I tried to stop cold turkey but couldnt do it at all I got really bitchy, angry, and just was depressed! I just didnt feel right. Well my boyfriend thought I stoppped smoking like a week ago which I tried to but caught me smoking and was really pissed and said if he finds out I smoke it again basically we are over with! I dont want my relationship thrown away because of marijuana! Someone please give me advice on how to quit!??|
|Posted by: John August 6, 2012, 6:13 PM|
I hid my use from my wife also...but hiding it from her was the least of my worries. I was slowly killing myself. I quit because i wanted my life back. I didnt want to be a slave to weed any more. I reclaimed my life by becoming completely honest with my wife, parents and siblings. I told them that I was addicted to weed and couldnt stop be myself. I went to a treatment centre and even spent time in a psychiatric unit....I smoked for a long time and was going through withdrawals....it was a real hard time. What really helped me was attending narcotics anonymous every day for 90 days straight. I still go at least once a week. I'm doing great now. My life is totally different and im so proud and grateful I was able to do it. Its not always easy though. Sometimes I wish i could enjoy a drink with my friends but i dont know where that will lead me. I would be so afraid i might pick up a joint again and ruin everything i have achieved since quitting. Another important thing you must understand is that you cannot do this for your boyfriend. You must do this because you want to....it doesnt work otherwise.
So good luck. Stop smoking and go to a meeting! It may change your life. It changed mine.
Hugs and friendship
|Posted by: bob November 16, 2012, 9:28 AM|
|to the person that really wants to stop smoking you must get to the root of the problem,it could be anger issues ,spiritual void,or you just have not made up your mind to stop . But until you surrender and really ask God to help you and, you stay off the throne you will start to see your life change remember the mind must be renewed.|
|Posted by: Gus Man Chicago December 31, 2012, 3:31 AM|
|Hello Im Gus i been smoking weed heavily since i was 14 my cusin got me started on it an found my self selling ounces to support my addiction but aanywayys.... i was smoking 3 grams a day (Blunts) i thought i couldint stop cause i needed it but that was never true..... it honestly is a mental thing i use to get pissed off an str8 to my car i went to roll up but i notice recently (4 months ago) i wasint getting anywhere in life i lost my girlfriend for being high all the f***in time and my job, i dropped out of high school cause i couldint wait to smoke i f***ed my self so boguz cause now getting a job is a task for me...My family even stopped talking to me cause they think weed it just as bad as cocaine an haroin ect..... so i reacted i was f***in blasted when i realized all of this!! I got mad while i was doing what use to make me happy.so i went to the pantry an bought a box of vegas an rolled a gram in each blunt an faced them that night an called it quits.. im about to be 21 an i have been 4 months an a coupe days clean it took me 6 years to realize i didint need that s***.. The first days were honestly pretty bad i couldint sleep i wasint hungry an my attuide was horrible i found my self talking s*** about everything i didnt like but after a week i bought my self a xbox to keep me from having so much time on my hands..i think about it from time to time but it really doesint have an impact on me anymore i have an 8th in a jar in my closet an i dont even wanna see it i took it out the other day an i smelled it an pput it right back if you really want to stop its going to be easy for you well not completly easy but if you really want somthing in life you can achive it regarless of what anyone says my lifes back on track an it feels good...
****Couple of ways that helped me stopped
*Have a huge last session smoke you brains out!!(sounds wrong but thats what i felt i had to do I smoked till i didint wanna smoke no more an kept smoking till the last blunt was done)
*I stayed away from people that i knew smoked including my nabor/bestfriend
*I trew away the only bowl i had so get rid of you hightimes materials..lol
*Find another hobbie or somting that takes up your smoking time (it was a hobbie for me to roll up trust me i must have a million dollers in bud in my lungs)
*Try not to be a loner put your self around people get out n enjoy life(if i was alone i was high)
*Depresion kicks in when you stop thats why you need people around you to have fun
*the first week i bought night quil to help me sleep an i stopped using it after 4 days
*lose your connects i stopped talking to the plug..(he called me a couple times but he got the point.)
those things helped me tons smoke free livin is the way to go have faith friends
|Posted by: hapiholly January 7, 2013, 4:43 PM|
|Hey Gus, thanks for your post, somehow it seemed to make me feel more confident about quitting! When weed has been in your life for decades it becomes way more than your best friend! When I first found this site, I was noticing how long people have been smoking, but I never REALLY thought that long and hard on how long I had been smoking. 27 years, I didn't think I was even much older than that! Shows me how stealthy my friend has been! My husband and I both battle with this addiction. We have quit for months at a time, but then start back up for this reason or that. We had just quit for the past few months, but geez, my rage was really out of control! EVERYTHING pretty much irratated me, and I have 3 lil kids, and 2 older, along with a stepson. I went to see a counselor, and she said I was ADD. Well whatever I am, I am, and I am working on that. I just HATE THE RAGE I feel when I am sober. I know, of course, all the things I am supposed to do, like exersize. I also found a MA group that meets on Saturdays, I need to check out. What I really need to do is set the date, set the date! YIKES|
|Posted by: BOBBYDIGITAL February 18, 2013, 12:52 AM|
|Hey im Bobby. I have a great job, wife and lots of hobbies and very athletic. But Weed to me, is the greatest thing. I had a cocaine problem for 8 years. Iam only 27 and about 3 years clean. But the mary jane wont stay away. I love this s*** to much and i dont want to quit. But my wife has had enough and we want to have kids soon. But i cant get through this. ive tried for the last 5 years. Its not going to work.|
|Posted by: hapiholly February 20, 2013, 2:08 PM|
|Hey Bobby, you are here, so at least 1% of you is fighting the good fight! I know, just like so many of us here, your EXACT situation. We ALL love weed, it keeps us numb from our head to our feet. I remember seeing a marriage counselor once and he described it as sprinkling fairy dust on everything. I thought, so whats so bad about that? We could all use some fairy dust sprinkled in our world! But in reality it is an addiction that takes over every aspect of our life. I have been smoking more than half my life, tragic. I wake and bake, take and bake, bake and cook, bake and clean, bake and shower. There was really nothing I would want to do until I took a couple hits. Then I would usually end up doing something else, something not very productive, like sit and ponder the internet. I started coming on here looking for some inspiring stories to motivate me to quit. But I was usually high, and would feel helpless over this desire. I had an extreme fear of quitting and becoming the angry psychopath that I turned into last time I was sober. Life is not easy, emotions and pain are not fun, but they are a part of us, and we all need to know how to handle them. I need to learn how to deal with life on lifes terms, not ignore reality by staying numb. It really almost seems harmless, weed, especially compared to all the rest of the garbage out there. But just like all that, it controls us, and limits our capabilities and possibilities. How many times have I seen a help wanted ad, but it states drug testing, so I say "pass". Well I just applied for a job, did not see anything about testing, and they actually called me in for an interview. I could not believe it! Finally a chance, I have applied at so many places without any response. So I go and everything was awesome, then he tells me I will be hearing from another company regarding background check and drug test. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Well guess what, that actually motivated me out of my pit of addiction! OK so it has only been 6 days :) but I would never go without more than a couple hours, so YEEHAW! At first I wanted to take the test ASAP, dilute my urine by drinking tons of water,and then come home and smoke. I had to take it within 72 hours of the email notice. I decided my best chance was to give myself a couple more days of sobriety to better up my chances. After I took it, I got pulled over for expired plates from October, OCTOBER!! Geez, what a freaking stoner, dont even pay attention to details like that?! Thank God I wasn't smoking, I might have had my one hitty, and just smoked while driving, and REALLY got into some trouble! Needless, to say, of course that was my excuse to smoke when I got home, since I finished my test, and was so traumatized by being pulled over. But then I had the thought, what if I have to take another test? I better just wait until I hear back, grrrrr. Well the next morning there was the email, I need to retest within 24 hours. phew. Went back yesterday and retested, my urine extremely diluted. So I will find out soon if weed has robbed me of another possibility. It is a fight, and you really have to fight hard. That job motivated me to quit for the drug test, but now it is my turn to motivate myself. It is hard, noone is going to lie about that here. I wish you strength and courage to dig deep inside and realize you are more powerful than your addiction, I wish that for me too, and everyone else in this pit of despair!!!!|
|Posted by: hapiholly February 21, 2013, 12:48 PM|
|Well now they want a hair sample, looks like I reap what I sow! Of course still wanna smoke my face off, but I am going to focus on the future! Maybe that is what it is gonna take. We all want to think of our past, it is what we have. We think of the past, we think of pain, anger, hurt, betrayal, rejection, then we think of the moment, the moment now, and we want to leave it. I need to think of the future CONSTANTLY!! The past will only bring me closer back to where I was, the future is wide open, always changing. I want more for me and my family, and I am the only one who can do anything about that. I can sit through life in a self pity fog, going through the motions, or I can take charge of my thoughts, and move in a forward motion. One thing I have always said is you never get very far being a drug addict, well I have not gotten very far, that is for sure. But today is a new day, I have 7 days under my belt, and I want to keep moving FORWARD!! I just read about an old friend of mine who celebrated 9 years of sobriety, WOW, I remember him back in the day! NINE years!! That is the future I want!|
|Posted by: Mike August 7, 2013, 10:40 AM|
|Hello all my name is Mike. I have had this problem since i was 17 years old and now i am 24. I always thought to myself that weed is the least harmless of all the drugs. Recently i have hit a wall in my life. This is my problem. I have a degree in Finance and did very well all throughout high school and college. I never saw a reason to stop. To me it was more of a bonding session with all of my friends or a way to unwind after a long day at work. Recently, i came to ask the question. If i can accomplish all of this on weed what can i do off? I am currently 4 days sober and all i can think about is lighting up. The past couple days have been me online looking up all the negatives and peoples stories on weed and off. I do feel like my mind is a lot clearer, but still get urges. I am very active. I play basketball 4-6 times a week and gym right after. I have smoked before both. I am so accustom to doing activities high that it feels weird sober. I feel like i am strong enough to quit cold turkey. Although, it may be hard i want to do it for myself and for my future. Do the urges go away?|
|Posted by: DAC August 7, 2013, 11:43 AM|
I have quit smoking pot so many times after long periods of binges I cant keep count. Hang in there! What you are experiencing more than anything is the pschological desire to continue a habit that has come to influence everything you do in life. I know with me that when high movies seemed funnier, food tasted better, sex was better, etc. It seemed like it 'enhanced' life. But unfortunately you only feel this way when you are high, when sober you realize that this simply isnt true.
It will depend on how much you are used to smoking but you should see a difference in your cravings after a week. At two weeks you will be home free for the most part. The hardest part for me would be to fill the time that you spent getting high. If you do this every night to unwind, it will be hard to break that habit in the very beginning. But you have gone 4 days and those 4 days were the hardest. It will get easier. You sound like a bright guy so after you get past a couple of weeks you will see what it was costing you and hopefully not go back!
My problem is I have a seasonal business and dont do much of anything in the winter. I make all my money in about 8 months , then around Thanksgiving I have all the bills paid and dont have to do much til March. So when I quit in the Spring I had so much work to keep me busy I had no problem at all laying it down til the end of the year. I would binge all winter in my earlier years so it took me 3-4 weeks sometimes before I would stop thinking about it. Then, no temptation really whatsoever. I repeated this pattern for some 20 years so trust me, you will be fine if you just get through this shaky period you are in now.
Soon you wont think about it at all!
|Posted by: Mike August 7, 2013, 12:53 PM|
My main problem is when people say keep yourself busy. I work from 7-6 Mon-Fri and go to the gym straight after till about 8pm. The problem is when i get home i feel like i had a productive day so why not. I know overtime they will go away. I just have to realize it changes your mood for just a short while and in order to maintain that mood you have to smoke again. I have never done another drug in my life nor smoked a cigarette. Although, in the past it has helped me cope with some problems it was only for a short period of time. A lot of people have a stereotype of smokers. Lazy, don't care about appearance, etc..I am constantly doing something and dress in a suit and tie Mon-Friday so that always made me a little angry and made me think it wasn't bad. Once i see more money in my pocket i will feel better about myself and i am sure the urges will go away. This will be a tough couple of weeks. I am excited to see what i can accomplish and how different my mood is without it. It has been awhile.
|Posted by: DAC August 7, 2013, 1:51 PM|
I stopped in for lunch and saw your post. You are rewarding yourself much in the way I did. I also hate the stereotypes. People treat you like your stupid if they know you smoke pot. I actually used to take exams high when in college and still graduated with a B average. Of course, I probably would have been an A student without it , but should a clean C student have anything to say about it?
One reason I quit during my busy time of the year was that I just dont get as much done. It wears you out. And after 8 months of kicking butt and taking names? Yeah , I felt like I could do whatever I wanted to. That I didnt need to justify myself to anyone. But the truth is it will make whatever progress you are trying to make in life just that much harder.
Later in life I could see it was taking away from my kids (i have 5) so I put it away for 7 years. But a couple of years ago I experienced real troubles that I could not do anything about and I fell back into use. Only it was the synthetic weed that was available right down the street. DONT ever try that!!
My main problem now is that I am self employed and sit on a mower all day long. It doesnt really matter if I am high or not while mowing. I still make $500 a day whether it takes me 10 or 12 hours to do it. I get home and the kids go to bed a half hour after I get there so it doesnt affect them either. But I have bigger plans I am trying to implement and if I dont stay away from smoking they will probably never materialize. Pot and synthetic weed make that dedication much harder.
You sound like an A type personality - an overachiever. You have different goals than most people. You also sound very independent like myself and so I will advise you to put it away so that you can reach that next level of whatever it is you are shooting for next. If you dont it will just take that much longer to achieve these things. You probably know that to get a jump on things you have to be well prepared. Well, put the smoking away for a while and see the difference for yourself. You should find that you operate on a much higher level (no pun intended) than you did before. IF not? You can always smoke it again later down the road if that is what you want to do - by then your tolerance will be back to where it takes very little to do the trick!
One last thing, you mentioned working out so I am sure you are health conscious. I always smoked in a one hitter - I never waste even a puff of smoke. Last year I attached a clear plastic hose to one end so that I could cool the smoke ( the synthetic burns hot). After a week or so the first 6 inches of the tube was just choked with resin - the last 6 inches had hardly any at all. If you saw this in person it would make a strong impression on what you are actually doing to your lungs - one you wont ignore! The only thing safer than this method would be a bong because the water will take out most of the harsh solids that get transported along with the smoke. I also started smoking when I was 17 - almost 30 years ago! I thought that every winter would be my last to smoke, but they just kept adding up until 20 years later I decided enough was enough. My weakness now is I cant sleep. 4-5 hours a night is all I am really good for and pot really does help with that. But I think I am done with everything for now. I have to get up on stage here in the next couple of weeks for some open mics (comedy) and it is really hard to get up in front of people if you are stoned. I know, I did this last year and had a couple of bad experiences where I forgot my next joke...
Hope this helps - I'll check back in tonight - good luck!
|Posted by: Mike August 7, 2013, 2:38 PM|
To me 1 year or 20 years it has affected our lives entirely. Although, it may not be the most addictive drug it defiantly has showed the negatives. There were points at work or in school where all I wanted to do was smoke. Recently I have given it a lot of thought. I am a strong believer in the super natural and have grandparents and other relatives who have passed in the past couple of years. I thought to myself when I light this joint their most likely watching me right? How would they feel? Are they disappointed? All of these feelings rushed through my head. Sometimes in order to stop a habit you need something bad to happen. I am extremely grateful nothing bad has happened and I was able to realize this problem on my own. It makes me feel good that I personally was the one who noticed the problem. No one has ever said anything bad such as: Mike you’re slacking, you look like a stoner, etc. You too seem like a very strong person. It sounds like you are the same way so I commend you for that. You have your own business and kids to worry about. Although, I have no kids that would always be in the back of my head of what they would think. The first step with us is to admit we have a problem then go from there. One drastic difference I have noticed was when I wake up. I have been experiencing crazy dreams which I read that weed has an effect on your dreaming. They feel so real that I wake up panting! A positive is when I wake up my brain feels refreshed rather than feeling like it got fried on a skillet. Overtime I am sure the dreaming will pass. I haven't experienced any insomnia yet. I have to take it day by day. This has been the longest I have gone in over 5 years without breaks. I haven't been consistent throughout the day but at least once a day. I appreciate all your advice and your life story. It has truly helped me realize I am not the only one. I usually don’t discuss personal issues with anyone even my family. Sometimes to talk to a stranger is the best. Someone who won’t judge you nor knows anything about you, but the problem you’re going through. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. We will talk soon.
|Posted by: DAC August 8, 2013, 10:06 AM|
Fell asleep on the couch last night - sorry. I actually got a full 8 hours sleep though! You mentioned the fever dreams you were having. I never really experienced this much with marijuana, but when withdrawing off the synthetic these dreams were VERY intense and vivid. Waking up panting in a pool of sweat would happen several times a night at times. But dont worry these will soon pass as well.
I dont know this for sure but I think I read that since marijuana is a natural depressant it can suppress the production of adrenaline. After quitting this adrenaline can surge back at times. This can make you angry when you are awake, and can cause the 'panic dreams' when you are asleep. Men are hormonal too. I just read that the other day. On an hourly basis our testosterone levels fluctuate and we can become moody as a result. So dont worry, your just dealing with some chemical imbalances that will correct themselves here in the near future once you get some time between you and the pot.
With the synthetic there was something in the mix that would cause a rise in temperature. I dont know if this is true with pot or not, but this increased temperature would also be a reason why the dreams get so intense. If you have ever been sick and experienced a 'fever dream' - its basically the same thing. One more warning about the synthetic weed should that ever be a temptation. It also can cause the brain to swell and this affects thinking as well. One teenage girl who experienced from smoking the synthetic just one time had to be rushed to the hospital to have holes drilled in her head to relieve the pressure....i think she is pretty much a vegetable now.
Congratulations on going almost a week! Especially if you havent gone that long in 5 years. You have already went through the worst of it. Get a couple more weeks into this and you wont even think about pot any more. The problem you will have is that you 'like' to get high and in the future you might 'romanticise' about getting high , but these are mind games that you can overcome if you really want. I ran into a problem the past couple of years because I found a 'use' for marijuana/synthetic in that it relieved my mind from the extreme stress I had been enduring for years. I didnt like myself being an 'on edge d***' all the time and when I smoked I was much more pleasant to be around and so I began to view the smoking as potentially positive....the problem? I would have to stay high forever to keep myself in this state because once I would quit the withdrawals would make me so much worse to be around than I ever was naturally.
Another thing I will caution you about. Stop making arguments comparing pot to what others do. I could justify to myself about how simple and harmless pot was/is because I saw so many other things as worse. PEOPLE JUDGE! And they judge out of ignorance and many times are much worse off in the things they do themselves. Nothing like having an obese person who has made themselves diabetic at a young age lecture you about your health. Or an adulturous person try to tell you are immoral for smoking. Or my favorite, people who use prescription drugs to control their mood and behavior ( highly addictive antidepressants) and then tell me that I should do the same. If I wanted to stay in a form of 'high' my entire life , because that is what you essentially have to do if you go this route, then I would just decide to smoke forever to feel normal just like they have to take their pills with no end in sight to feel normal.
You see, like you I take NOTHING as far as prescriptions, I dont smoke cigarettes, and I rarely drink alcohol. I wont even take flu shots. I believe very strongly in pursuing a 'natural' approach to things and that is why pot was appealing to me. So why did I let my guard down and try the synthetic weed?? It's simple - I screwed up!!
I recently heard that fully 70% of all americans take some type of prescription drug. Its like, Hey you feel down - take a pill, you want to lose weight? - take a pill. Your kid wont sit still at school ? - give him a pill with amphetamines in it??? But if you smoke a joint? - put THAT guy in prison!! Its highly hypocritical, and wrong! I am a huge fan of Dennis Miller and in one of his rants from his old HBO show he stated that the people who are the MOST against illegal drugs are the ones who take the most legal (prescription) drugs. I have found that to be true in life more than I ever thought possible.
I guess what I am saying is that you can rationalize pot usage, Lord knows I have, but in the end you cant really justify it. It has medical uses, but it you are not using it for a truly valid reason then you are probably abusing it. You know as well as I do that smoking on a daily basis has probably cost you things in life. So put it away, experience life for a while straight up, and hopefully you will eventually see that it was holding you back from whatever that next big step in life is. At 24 you have not done anything you cant undo. You have a good job, are physically fit, and soon will be probably looking to settle down. Get this pot smoking behind you and your future can be very bright my friend!!
Gotta work - talk later
|Posted by: Mike August 8, 2013, 10:50 AM|
I really appreciate all the advice and stories you have provided to me. I never smoked synthetic weed and defiantly won't even think about it hearing that story about it causing infinite pressure in your brain. I am catholic and stick to what i have always known(GOD). The past week i have been going to him for advice and strength to endure these tough times. I have also been praying to family that has passed for strength. I am not sure what your beliefs are, but it has helped me greatly. I wasn't able to get much sleep last night, but i know at some point that will all go away. I am taking this day by day and won't forget what you have provided for me. I hope the same for you. We both have to be strong. Although this isn't a problem for most people who smoke i am glad we saw it as one. The past 5 years i never saw a problem with this drug like i said. Being a week off of it my brain is clearer and i see myself as less emotional and angry. I put my family and friends in the middle if i couldn't get my fix. Now i can enjoy their company without this and be my true self. I will keep you updated weekly and hope you do the same. Hang in there and be strong for yourself and family.
Have work myself. Have a great day!
|Posted by: DAC August 8, 2013, 5:10 PM|
If my screw ups in life can help you I am more than glad to share. If you want to see how deranged at times the synthetic has made me check out the synthetic weed thread on the 'other drug' message board and you will see this has not been an easy journey.
Check in when you feel the need
|Posted by: Mike August 9, 2013, 10:14 AM|
They are not screw ups. They are life lessons and they will mold you into a stronger person. Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.NO matter how many times you might go back you will have another chance to try again.
|Posted by: DAC August 10, 2013, 10:56 AM|
Thanks for your kind words. I guess I come off pretty negative at times but I know my potential for improvement and it just bothers me that others in my life are so easily swayed by opinions that are uniformed. I went from 3 people in the world knowing about my smoking to EVERYONE I know and many I dont know. This spread so quick because I am stubborn, independent, and will do what I am going to do anyway. Combine this with the fact that I HATE social/gossip media so I do nothing with facebook , twitter, or any of the other things which the pushy females in my life live for. So it is easy to talk about me behind my back. This is why I am so combabative in person. People will express VERY strong opinions when I am out of earshot only to become as quiet as a churchmouse in my presence. Also, since they have all talked about me and my problems behind my back they dont even really need to talk to me. This is why when the group gets together I am afraid I will sound off - I have them all in one place and I want to confront the gossip and their ridiculous conclusions. The times I have done this on other topics, they just sit there....quiet, not saying anything. Of course when they get on facebook that night they will renew the conversation and then become very bold! So I get my shots in when I can!!
But enough negatives. What I know is that the best things in life dont come easy. A gemstone cannot be polished without friction - nor can a man be perfected without trials. Just like a crucible will take crushed ore - put it under intense heat and pressure, and the result will be some of the most valuable metals we have in this world. Its a process of purification. I thought of myself last year as being IN the crucible when I had my jail experience....but unfortunately I was just getting my ore crushed. I still have yet to emerge out of this process of transformation that I hope will come next!
I am in a hurry , so this will probably not sound the way I want. But you get the idea. Pain has a way of purifying, it makes us appreciate the end result so much we will never want to go back to the place we were before. I feel I have torn myself down, now time to build back up. I just need to get rid of the resentment I feel towards others who doubted my intentions in the first place.
Look at all I have written on these pages , all the experiences, the observations, and self evaluation. Then imagine me talking with one of the people in my life and trying to explain...only to get interrupted after a few words and have them say. NO, that's not it , because I read this thing that said blah , blah , blah and you are just wrong. They cant even give me credit for knowing anything about something like pot because they are just so sure that they know better. I made the comment that last year I couldnt tell people that water was wet and have them believe me. There's a saying, "a rumor has traveled halfway around the world before the truth even gets its shoes on". Well , I no longer chase these rumors. If the rumor gets in front of me it needs to watch out because I will kick it in the a**!
You will notice yourself feeling more and more strong as time goes by. It can take 10-14 days for the fog from long term pot smoking to really subside. Pot affects short term memory the most so you will still have most of what makes you - you , so dont worry about the damage you think you may have done to yourself. The body and mind have an enormous capacity to heal, and heal you will. Knowing you need to quit, and doing it alone the way you have, lead me to believe that once you remove this 'speed bump' from your life you will truly realize your full potential and make the next phase of your life a VERY productive one.
I did not have your resolve at your age, yet I still did fine for years until the events of life (not drugs) finally put me at a breaking point. But I should have broke without the comfort of drugs. Because the drugs prolonged the process of healing! The drug numbed the pain that was mine to feel directly, and so it took me much longer to make the changes that I needed to make to move foward in life. For a time I got to where I didnt think I could endure any more trouble in life - all a result of having the crutch of drugs available in the first place!
So ENJOY your withdrawals - because they are a necessary part of putting this behind you. I DID put pot behind me for 7 full years! Unfortunately it was a long enough period for me to forget the trouble that this particular drug can be for me. The main thing being complacency in life. It kills my motivation, and without motivation? I am content to just be static and not attack life!
If you enjoy the moment too much - you wont prepare for the next big step!
I am proud of you for realizing this on your own!
let me know how your progress goes, feel free to ask me anything.
|Posted by: Dac, August 12, 2013, 8:09 AM|
I messed up. Saturday night i went into the City for my friends bday. Had an amazing time with all my friends until we got back to his apartment. I was drinking a lot and put my self in a situation i didn't want to be in. I smoked a joint and all my hard work and struggle this past week went to s***. I feel so low right now. I have no urge to smoke and i am disgusted with my actions. I feel like crap mentally and physically.
|Posted by: DAC August 12, 2013, 11:19 AM|
|A relapse , unfortunately is often part of recovery. Dont beat yourself up about it. It sucks to have to start over and re-commit to quitting but as long as you learn from the experience it becomes more and more unlikely to happen. I used to smoke up to 3g a day of the synthetic. I have smoked only 5g in the last 6 months. But am I done? I hope so, but if I slip I will just go back to starting over and eventually it will cease. If you give up your resolve because of a slip you will just end up smoking all day every day again with no end in sight. So take it for what it is and get back on the wagon!
You can still quit - the will to go a whole week isnt easy to accomplish - especially without help. If you can go a week , you can go a month, and then 3 months, then a year, etc..
How do you think I feel after relapsing after 7 years?
Giving up is the only thing thats unforgiveable.
|Posted by: Mike, August 13, 2013, 8:28 AM|
I understand it is just that i wish i didn't. Your right though if i can go a week i can go a month, year, etc...It turns out whenever i drink and smoke after it is never a good high. I guess in a way it was good. It showed me how much better i felt while not high compared to high. Especially when you drink it takes you to a whole other level. I do not drink often maybe once a week, but i will have to start my road to recovery again unfortunately. I will keep you updated. Thanks for the advice DAC i will keep what you said on my mind. Don't beat yourself over the relapse after 7 years. The first step is to realize you have a problem and we are past that.
|Posted by: DAC August 13, 2013, 11:03 PM|
If you were committed to a long term diet and you went to a birthday party over the weekend and ate too much cake. Would you still give up on your diet? No, you would try that much harder to get back to where you were before the party. Same for what you did this past weekend with the weed. For the record, I dont have a problem at all with occassional use. It's when I have my own supply that I cant seem to limit my use and go back to all day everyday use. But for me, MJ lost most of its luster. The synthetic killed my tolerance and I cant even enjoy pot that much anymore , so that desire is pretty much gone now.
But you havent quit before for this long. Your body will still need to do some adjusting, as will your mind as far as what to do at night when you normally would smoke to cap off the day. Find something to fill the time, something constructive, It will help!
|Posted by: Mike August 15, 2013, 1:13 PM|
It has been 5 days since my relapse. Had a little urge yesterday but went for a run to clear my head. I will keep you updated.
Hope your staying strong.
Talk to you soon
|Posted by: DAC August 16, 2013, 9:52 AM|
Good to hear that you are still making progress. So am I to understand that you have had one day of slipping in almost 2 weeks? And you smoked for 5 years almost nonstop? You are kicking a** and taking names if that is true!! At about the two week mark you will start to think about this less and less. And at the fabled '28 day' mark addictive habits are suppossed to have worked their way completely out of your short term consciousness. This means you will have to willfully go back to smoking....Unfortunately something that I have done many times.
But that was only because I wanted to be numb during those times and marijuana or the synthetic was just the tool I used to achieve this. If I dont use my mind productively, it will turn in on itself and I get tired of being down. Bad memories and isolation exacerbate this. So I am staying busy and trying to stay connected. I actually feel pretty good right now and it comes from the smallest of encouragements. I write in various blogs every day, and I have been getting a lot of positive feedback which seems to spur me to write more.
Encouragement helps!! So I try and encourage people whenever I can. For people who are battling an addiction every little bit helps. Oddly, I dont really consider myself an addict unless I am in possession of something that I want to use. I really can stop anytime I want. But if I had a 'stash' right now I would then apply the label because I would not be able to do 'just a little' - it would be every day use. Does that make any sense?
I only seek out weed or its alternative when struggling with depression and the consequences of the fallout from last years nightmare. But when these things are not present? No problem. When I feel successfull and hopeful - no problem. When I can sleep without the constant waking up at night....NO problem!
I guess what I am saying is that if you set your mind to something - you can do it, so dont worry. But in social settings be aware that you will still enjoy getting high in the company of others. Just dont buy any and take it home!! If I do this only occassionally, again, no problem. But If I get a quarter and tell myself that I will only smoke occassionally.....there's the problem!! So just dont have your own supply and you should easily beat the addiction part of this drug. And sure, it would be better to never smoke again. But if you do just remember. Limit it to the experience you are in....Don't take any home with you!!
hope this helps!
|Posted by: Pedro Sheeler October 3, 2013, 9:52 AM|
|I know that it’s difficult to quit Marijuana, once addicted but still I believe it’s not impossible. To get released from this type of addiction, firstly you have to be head strong towards getting rid of it. Now you follow a simple path which would be “stick on your determination”, and remove all the contents of Marijuana from your house so that you don’t get fragmented again to its smell. Start thinking that you were not addicted to it before and gets to start a new life. Start living like a normal person and do exercises daily. Hope this helps you in getting rid of Marijuana.|
|Posted by: Guest October 3, 2013, 9:58 PM|
|I can tell you that your drinking was a 'gateway' drug to smoking pot again. This is why AA NA CA will tell you a drug is a drug and that complete abstinence from all substances is a must.
Don't beat yourself up for relapsing. Those seven years you had clean are considered like money in the bank. They are not gone and you can still draw upon your strength from those clean years to get back on the horse and ride.
Listen to DAC as he has a wealth of sage advice to give.
|Posted by: emely October 8, 2013, 3:14 PM|
|please someone I just cant stop smoking weed anyone can call me and help me?> please call me at 347 501 2349|
|Posted by: rgb November 20, 2013, 6:11 PM|
My name is Simon. I'm 31 and I started smoking when I was 15. Last 7 years, I was smoking about 1g per day. Since then I'm actually starting to experience worst symptoms of mj using. No energy to do anything. No energy for sex with my now ex girlfriend , no energy to do something new, no energy to go out on weekend.
I am actually fighting the fight to quit everyday. Unfortunatelly I'm usually loosing it. I'm making some 3,4 day breaks, I plan on smoking less, I plan on smoking only on weekends, or ... when there's a good ocasion. Unfortunatelly I'm used to just sitting in front of tv, computer while smoking and every evening I feel this urge to smoke. I was smoking cigarrettes, and I quit, but I started to smoke tabacco/mj blunts. Now I am quitting two addictions, one is more physical, one psychological. Still working on it - bought e-cigar, for problems with sleeping (when I don't smoke) I prepared Melatonine, and it's working.
Still one problem remains - no new hobby, no girlfriend, all friends married.
I have nothing else to do in the evenings , and what I am doing - I was usually doing stoned.
Still, I'm fighting now, because don't wanna be alone, and the chances are much more smaller that I go out and meet someone when stoned (it doesn't bother me that much when I'm high, or I don't tend to think about it when I'm high).
Anyone got an idea for a nice hobby ? :) I read books for now, but I should get more active I suppose.
It's difficult, but maybe I will be able to "control" it a bit. At least until I meet someone who will fill my time/life, I think then the chance to actually let go of mj will be bigger.
I wrote this post after reading about problems with sleeping, when not smoking. Try melatonine, at least for a month/max 2. Maybe it will fix your internal clock/ or help in producing this hormone by your body again. Maybe just use it occasionaly, when you got time to sleep, and want to make this sleep longer/better. It's helping me, but you gotta realise this - when you are providing hormones by pills, your body may stop making it by itself.
Good luck on your path guys, you'll be allright, keep fighting.
|Posted by: Miles January 10, 2014, 2:42 AM|
|I started smoking at age 13 it was great the first few years .i soon realized i needed to quit , my frontal lobe was a non active for about 4 hours after I smoked headaches and paranoia started to settle in at about age 16 ,17 I quit seeing all of my 50 plus family members ,that as a kid would see on a weekly basis . Age 21 I a full blown scitzofrenic not leaving my house or talking to any of my life long friends because I was so nervous, nervous of neighbors and what they thought about me ,panic attacks all day long ,no job ,suicidal , no female action . Keep in mind I was and am a aspiring male model or fitness model. I quit weed at 22 and now I have and do everything I ever wanted ,the future is bright as he'll now.
|Posted by: JimmyR February 25, 2014, 2:17 AM|
To stop smoking weed as I have after ten years of smoking:
There are a few things that you have to take in consideration when you decide you want to stop smoking weed.
1. Decide that you ARE going to stop smoking in the immediate future. (for life can sound like a tough daily struggle) And lets face it, smoking pot can be a good time!
2. Take a different approach of why you are going to stop, a new perspective, such as: Saving money, giving your lungs a break, tightening up your eating habits, and saving time for more activities throughout the day
3. Make plans. Whether it be to make goals for yourself to achieve day to day, or simply picking up a new hobby.... You need to have something to do, to take your mind off just smoking pot. Something that will fill your void from your usual smoke sessions.
4. Do not surround yourself with people that want to smoke pot... At least, in front of you. Take away the temptation. Don't break up with your friends, just let them know the situation and that you are serious about it... to the point of refusing to be in the area of weed smoke.
5. Realize that the first week or two will be the toughest.(As is the case with heavy drugs, your mind ties to reason why it wouldn't be so bad to relapse...'Its only been a couple days.' BUT once get a month under your belt, it will be easy to deny use. In my case, weed was exclusively addictive MENTALLY. Old habits are not easily broken, but after you have broken it... its silly to think how tough you THOUGHT it was.
6. Know that you can feel as though you are not addicted, but that means nothing without the measurable results to prove it.
Simply put, you need to set yourself up for success. Realize you have a problem. Voice it. Declare you are going to do something about it. DO something about it, every day. Go pickup a hobby that will be more constructive to your life and save your money!
You can always have a drink when you've had a rough day!
You might want to look into going to a course about improving your EQ. I highly recommend one from las vegas. Really puts life in perspective.
|Posted by: donG June 10, 2014, 4:39 PM|
|f*** i need to quit ive been smokin onat starting at 11 currently 16 i started smoking everyday when i was 12 an just cant stop i dont kno the last full day of beong sober was for me i dont see my mom which got me f***ed up but still got my dad who always tells me if i want to quit i can but it feels like i dont want to quit. i just feel like i f*** up everyday and feel calm when i smoke. my brain is always thinking on od levels so i always jus end up thinking how wothless i am and s*** like that it makes me hate my f***ing life and the only tome i seem happy is when im high with my friends but i guess u could say im not really happy i just need help and felt the need to share to see what you guys have to say. Also im failing all my classes in school just to add that im just f***ed|
|Posted by: micheal hargreaves June 11, 2014, 9:58 PM|
|hey,i cinda need help to im 17 i have been blazing since i was 8 i never went to secondy school never done a exam or a test in my life all way causing s*** on the streets i even took my familys stuff for weed and its all because of this s*** and is all i wonna do it quit this s*** so i can sort my life out go collage try get a jobs and fihure my life out but i cant do that wile im smoking weed i smoke like 7g a day and i have even cut down i was smoking like a oz a day and i was making the money sellin it to smoke it and i know i sound young but you life i your suroundin and mine was bad so does anyone have a any advise for me ?? i just wonna change my life :((|
|Posted by: rohit July 19, 2014, 6:03 PM|
|Hi..I was just going through the forums regarding marijuana addiction. I am dealing with the same problem, myself. I am a researcher and like to mix creativity and science. So weed is like a stimulation for to think out of the box, at least that is what I think. I have smoked all my graduation years, my 3 years job, masters and even now. I never had any problem doing the essential stuffs even when I was smoking everyday. But then, I didn't do anything extraordinary as well. I want to achieve a great deal in life but smoking weed is taking it away from me because I waste a lot of time after smoking. Everything sounds like a tough or boring job for me after smoking. Wasting time on internet is all I do when high.
There are some definite problems with smoking pot and I listing them below. I am sure many of you will agree or relate to most of them :-
1. Spoils relations. The first step of smoking pot is getting the pot. I live in a place where it is not legal to sell and you have to contact a guy who knows other guy; you get the idea. So I generally ask my local friends to get it for me. This pretty much changes the relationship from friendship to dealer-customer relationship. It does not matter how nicely you ask your friend, the friendship is gone. Then you also have problem getting into new relationship or say getting a new girlfriend. I am never motivated enough to approach people when I'm high and this keeps me from knowing and relating to other people.
2. Money: Yes, it is robbing me of a lot of money which I could have used for a nice vacation or buy a car. Its not that it is the biggest expense for me but still, wasting money for something which is counter-productive is not the best deal. I feel bad every time I pay for weed. But I am happy and content again when I get the stuff.
3. Dependence: I am too dependent on this stuff. It seems weed is holding the key to my happiness. It's like a refuge for me when I am done with the day after my work. I am really depressed when I don't have the stuff and when I have it, I just can't stop smoking. It is more interesting for me to just stay in my room and smoke than to go out and do other activities.
4. Productivity: I am super-confused when I want to solve something that requires me to go into details. I do my job alright, but with more effort and time than normally required. I want to include confidence in this because it is sometimes really helpful or say, easier to do stuffs when you are confident. I am a timid little guy when high and its difficult to keep my head up.
I think this pretty much sums up all the problems I have due to marijuana. But, I am not sure that my life will be better if I stop smoking. I remember the days before I started smoking, I was really depressed most of the time. My friends used to have fun and I could not enjoy along with them coz for me it was forced and shallow. I somehow felt that I have greater understanding of life and that is what stopping me have fun. I still don't know and caught in the same situation. So I have started avoiding people who don't qualify my standard of fun. That's like 50 percent of the people.
So I don't know if I am going to be a better or worse person if I quit. I don't have much desire in my life(except doing some great research). I was never good with girls even before smoking. So I have just stopped trying. I am not so much into travelling, food or exercise. May be I am the perfect candidate for smoking weed :) .
What I like about smoking pot is that it makes you independent of others opinion and lets you enjoy yourself. It is something that I can go back to when depressed or bored. I think about it when working and feel happy that I have something to do when I go home and I love it, like having a girlfriend who is hot, fun and I don't have to appease her to be with me. But sometimes when I smoke the whole day, I feel really stupid and the fun seems superficial.
I want to get rid of reliance on this stuff. I don't want to be a marijuana slave, I just want to have it just for fun bcoz I really love smoking it.
|Posted by: Jessica HELP August 17, 2014, 5:50 PM|
I started smoking September 2012 when I was 18 years old.
I get sick almost every second day because of weed.
I look out my window everyday because Im so scared someone will come and get me.
I dont have any dreams during my sleep and I wake up with extreme pain in my intestines.
I cant concentrate at TAFE and I failed my course last semester.
I have lost all my friends and my family dont want to speak to me.
I have lost over 17 kgs on a chocolate and KFC diet.. weird.
I dribble and stumble my words every conversation.
I am extremely scared to talk over the phone and delay speaking to my parents around 2 weeks.
I think i hear people saying Im a b**** or I look crazy.
I think people know Im on weed.
I was submitted to hospital after travelling to melbourne from sydney without weed for two days.
I cant quit and everyone I know on weed says its so easy to quit :(
I lie to my parents everyday telling them I quit a YEAR ago.
I vomit after every meal I have with my parents.
I cant get my implanon (contraceptive) removed because im terrified of needles now..
I NEED HELP PLEASE im 20 years old and my boyfriend wont help me.
my life is going to be ruined if i dont get help.
I have visited the drug councellor but she didnt believe i was sick because of weed and sent me to rehab. im to scared to go ARGHHHHH i want to stop being lazy and get off my a** but i feel sick and unenergized everyday!! :( im such a pitty case but i literally just want to quit.
|Posted by: DAC August 23, 2014, 12:54 PM|
I wouldnt usually say this with marijuana, but if you are experiencing extremes the way you described - rehab might not be a bad idea. If you cant put the weed away on your own, and you have started to burn bridges concerning your future, maybe a controlled environment would do you well.
Marijuana can bring on severe anxiety when paranoia is experienced the way you describe it. At your age you cant push everyone out of your life this way and expect to have much of a future. Take this advice from someone who knows about isolation. Drug talk and my controversial opinions on marijuana have made almost all my immediate family not want much to do with me - but that is actually helpful to me in a lot of ways. From what you wrote I can tell this would not be the case with you. You need people around you to keep you accountable.
Writing things out helps
|Posted by: Dan January 5, 2015, 7:28 PM|
Not sure if this is still going but i guess the topic is still very relevant.
I am Dan, i am 24. Finished Uni and been smoking for about 8 years. Ill admit i love weed, the smell, sight and feel. But recently i have noticed its just become such a drain on life. I have a fairly decent job and flat, i have gradually lost most of my friends due to my weed issue and probably spent thousands on weed in the past. But i guess we just look forward as the past is done and theres f*** all we can do about it now.
Recently i decided to stop (2 days ago) and i just wanted to share whats going on physically and emotionally to help anyone if they are starting to think the same. Let me say one thing if its ever crossed ur mind "do i smoke too much" then u probably do.
So far i have experienced trippy dreams and generally poor sleep, headaches and general tiredness. But honestly i feel so good. Generally the green holds you back so much and i used to find id just make excuses for everything to justify this smoking.
If anyone out there is having a rough time with it drop me an email and we can talk:
***please don't post personal contact info. thanks, the moderators***
|Posted by: DAC January 6, 2015, 8:29 PM|
Your experience is similar to many. Read when you want information, ask questions when you dont know something, and keep taking it one day at a time. Plenty of info here to help understand what you are feeling. Dont be afraid to ask if you feel down or confused.
|Posted by: dan123 January 16, 2015, 2:01 PM|
My name is Dan, I'm 29 yrs and have been smoking for 10+ yrs. I was never an alcohol person, in fact there was a point where I only smoked and never touched alcohol. I'm also a strong believer in the super natural hence it has always been easier to motivate smoking, I also like living off the grid, or rather not be influenced by the “system”. (forum member DAC has touched on this with Facebook and how judgemental society is etc etc...) Please allow me to share my story
I was able to stop for about 2 years at some point, but relapsed in 2012. I moved from my birth place and got my own place, this was obviously the best opportunity for a fresh start. I then got promoted at work, it was a project that really pushed me to the limits! I did fine for the duration of the project, but only to be a** f***** by my boss (My apologies for the language), see.... they needed an escape goat for this project, if things would go wrong then I would take the fall... I did the opposite and it became successful, they started playing games and trying to get rid of me and use sub-contractors for the remainder of the project. Please bear in mind I wasn’t smoking during this! (This part is probably unnecessary but its very important as its the reason I’m typing this...)
I happen to be a very short tempered person, grew up with a lot of anger and this really infuriated me! I started using at this point, obviously it started as an occasional thing, then everyday, then I had supplier, then more suppliers + few “new” friends (all smokers) and there.... I was back at it. I started using heavy while also on the verge of loosing my job, no girlfriend, living alone!!! Weed did help me a lot during this phase, but I lost of a lot of good friends, my relationship with my family was also affected
I’m now engaged to a very beautiful, supportive & loving woman, we have a 6 months old baby girl and living together. I’m really at a phase where its now very important for me to stop using, I have tried in the past but would last only a day at most! Recently I was able to stop for 3 days (without her support this wouldn’t have happened, Thanks Love!). During this 3 days I have been able to see changes, my eyes where literally brown in colour but are becoming white again. I also feel my body/brain has rested, the constant thinking has also stopped and I’m able to live in the moment for a change. I must admit though the edge to roll and puff has been there heavily, I’ve been taking 20 – 30 min walks when they come and it seems to have helped.
My biggest problem is I’m currently on leave and returning back to work on Monday (19 Jan 2015) and I know very well my current work situation is going to stress me, the only thing I will be waiting for is getting home and puffing. I say this coz I still work for the same company above, I really need your help to beat this!
Today was supposed to be my 4th day but I’ve lapsed (with a joint I've had for the past 3 days) and burnt it literally to type this. If you allow me, I’m still on 4 days and with 3 days to go before work, I really need your help on strategies to beat this.
I've noticed the mood swings, lack of sleep, the dreams and the short temper but I've also noticed the walks really help, I'm thinking of getting bike and start cycling perhaps in the afternoon. My problem is everything I've been doing for the past 3 years flat was either weed or done while high. Ill probably have to start new hobbies but its not easy as I've turned into an anti-social person.
So any words from you or tips or anything really will be highly appreciated.
My apologies if my story is long but it helped on my side to write everything down.
|Posted by: Papa Bear January 16, 2015, 2:06 PM|
|Have you considered Narcotics Anonymous? It works for me and millions of others.
All the best.
|Posted by: Daniel January 28, 2015, 3:51 AM|
|Hi my name is Daniel and I've been smoking pot regularly for 4 years now. Pot has torn apart my life. I need to quit. I recently suffered and accident and I am lucky to be alive. I was stoned and it caused the accident. I ended up breaking my jaw but luckily that can be fixed and I still have my life. The hospital bills however are through the roof due to my accident. I was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to quit?
|Posted by: A2Townie2 January 28, 2015, 5:10 AM|
|Hey Daniel. I'm Ed. I smoked pot off and on for years but what got me in big trouble were other drugs. But, ya know, I do understand the Help Me Quit part! An addict is a person who sacrifices every good thing in life for a drug. It is hard when we first look in the mirror and say I am an addict, because we feel so alone sad and helpless, right? I could NOT STOP my drug until my car job house money and half my posessions were gone, 10 rehabs. People told me 'you know you dont have to keep using. That didnt help. I couldnt stop until there was nothing and I was headed to be homeless. Then I bravely decided to go to AA/NA and talk to people, engage with people and ask someone to be my guide in recovery. Then I forced myself to do what they recommended. I never 'felt like it'. But I acted. In the fellowship I was not alone and found glimpses of hope -- if they got off the drugs I could too. So can you !|
|Posted by: Daniel January 29, 2015, 3:22 AM|
But one problem I have is just saying no. Whenever the opportunity came knocking I would smoke. Does anyone have any advice on how to just say no? I have attempted to quit multiple times before and I'd be clean for a couple days, sometimes weeks, but when somebody would offer it to me I would lose all my progress and be back at the start. Any advice?
|Posted by: Mr Advice January 29, 2015, 1:49 PM|
|There is a load of support out there re quitting, but here's my opinion...
The first real step is acknowledging the fact that you want to quit. Take the accident you had as a real wake up call and acknowledge that cannabis has had its place in your life and it is time to move on. Your life will feel way more productive and you will have a much clearer mind in the coming years after you quit, believe me. There is a lot more I could say but quitting is definitely for the best.
If you do quit it will most likely be very hard at first. Use this to help you understand some things post quitting: http://www.addictionrecoveryguide.org/message_board/index.php?act=ST&f=21&t=75644
|Posted by: Papa Bear January 29, 2015, 1:58 PM|
|Here is what Narcotics Anonymous says about quitting. This is their advice:
If someone can walk away from their addiction and live happily then do it.
I'm sure that we all would have done that before now if all we needed was self-will.
If, in the end, you find you can't walk away then NA will be just what the doctor ordered.
NA & AA have worked for millions of us addict/alcoholics. Why not give it an honest try ....
All the best.
|Posted by: Emil February 24, 2015, 2:44 AM|
|No one should have to lose a relationship due to weed. I've been in the marijuana trap myself and while it ain't pretty, there is a way out through determination and detox. The reason it's so hard to quit is the withdrawal symptoms that keeps you coming back for more in order to not feel so bad. Sometimes it's hard to explain since it isn't always a "bad" feeling per say, but a feeling that something is lacking. I would add to it that before starting detox to cut down on your consumption gradually bit by bit instead of cold turkey.|
|Posted by: Pete February 25, 2015, 8:16 PM|
I never post anything so here it goes here...
I basically smoked weed my whole teenage life and then suddenly stopped simple because believe it or not I couldn't get it! now in my forties last year I met with someone who turn me on to weed. It was such a great euphoric high that I wanted to get my hands on some routinely. Then it happened...I found someone who could get it for me. Then I got high every single day. After work I would run home and get high. I was hooked. Stupid morons say pot is not addictive...yeah it is!!
I am a professional person and very active. I can tell you when I started smoking every day, I started getting lazy, just wanted to get high. my projects began to suffer.
moving fast forward...two weeks ago now I made up my mind ( after smoking for nearly 8 months straight) I was to quit and get my life back.
now I am two week clean and I feel great. I am having does crazy vivid dreams so it is true what they say and I am a bit insomniac but hey I work up last night so I read a book for an hour.
I recommend staying away from coffee and just continue doing everything else and more!
My mind is clearer than ever and I am happy that I am convince I can live again without that crap.
|Posted by: Jimwash March 6, 2015, 4:54 AM|
|Have you tried to seek for a professional help?|
|Posted by: alex March 6, 2015, 5:13 AM|
|the past 4 years have been the worst..unfortunately i just realized that when i decided to give up pot. every rnight after work all i thought about right after getting off was hitting that pipe, joint, blunt..etc. what made it worst was denial. no one in my life knew that i was a constant smoker, which i now realize made me ashamed of myself for being such a hypocrite. its all now rushing through my mind, the procrastination, the lies, the irresponsibility and most of all the damage I've done to my lungs. as pot smoker you never admit your addiction until you decide to quit. now its been only 3 weeks but I'm feeling more confident, healthier and a lot more productive. one thing i used to tell myself, and this was just to justify my use, is oh how many people in the us smoke oh I've never heard of someone doing something crazy as a result of getting high and on and on. the guys i went to high school with are finished with their bachelor degrees and me ? pot has made me circle the same direction for 4 n half years. did not change on thing. same lame minimum wage job, same struggle with attending community college classes for certain times of the year. the night i decided to quit i was high, i wont lie, i sat in my car for about an hour thinking of what have a done with my life so far as a 24 year old man? shockingly nothing..the thoughts tore me up. the ache was indescribable. thinking of all the people i loved i used to avoid so they won't notice me high. all the family members i stopped talking too because i knew that they don't approve of what I'm doing, if they ever found out. I've read some of the posts on this blog and they did inspire me to push forward and never look back. god bless you all and help every person in need of his help to break free...|
|Posted by: Brandon March 8, 2015, 2:26 AM|
|Hey my name is brandon im curently incarceted im ga. i cant st0p makin weed like everytime i d0 it i feel guilty i keep letin my self down but that h0w i want t0 be all that time high ive been since 15 n0w im 23 i haven st0p yet i try t0 st0p f0r few day but i always give what sh0uld id0?|
|Posted by: Marie March 9, 2015, 2:16 AM|
|All of your stories are heartwarming. Here I sit, smoking my pot, taking fat tokes from my glorious multi perk bong, getting high and not being productive. That was until, of course, I read these posts. Now I realize how wasted my life is. I'm going to turn over a new leaf. Thank you guys. And thank Jesus, our lord and saviour, for bringing me to this page at just the right time. God really does work in mysterious ways.|
|Posted by: cagey March 11, 2015, 11:36 AM|
|i have the same problem with marijuana. been smoking it for 40 years, have been dry now for 5 days. it's not hard for me to stop, done it a thousand times. and i can keep not smoking it, but I want it ALL the time. it is so tempting every day to call my friend and get it, lives close, cheaper than $100 a lid, etc. I just love the calm it gives me. of course, when I have it, guess what I do? sit around all day doing nothing and LOVING it! yes important things get done, bills paid, meals cooked, go to the bathroom (ha ha!), but sitting all day ... ahhhhhh ... such peace.
i started smoking pot for fun, then the older i got and life sucked more and more, i leaned on it, it became my peace the minute i walked in the door every day ... I couldn't WAIT to get home!
since i've gotten way older now tho' and have smoked cigarettes as well for 46 years, I have COPD. Marijuana alone can cause COPD if you smoke it long enough, just like cigarettes. i was in the hospital for respiratory failure 10 months ago and presently just got off a 2 month binge. yes, its nuts because its an addiction. i'm the kind that can smoke 5 joints a day starting with my morning coffee. i'd be running to get a lid every 5 days. i love the crap so much, just like cigarettes, guess i have a death wish.
but since i have retired, money's tighter, and that helps. i was spending $320 a month on pot and $500 on cigarettes (today's prices). i'm not rich, mind you, and i live very frugally, but it still costs too much being retired.
don't know what my point is here except to let you know i've been pot-free for 5 days and i just found this website and couldn't believe i was reading good honest info from real people. that sure helps!
i'll be back too. i'll let you know when i fall and i'll let you know if i don't fall. thank you for reading this, it feels wonderful to talk about it Honestly.
|Posted by: Pete March 28, 2015, 6:32 PM|
|Hello again I stopped by once again to see if anyone posted after me.
Here is my update! I am still clean from pot since that last post and I am done with it!
Ha! I don't even think of it anymore!!
How did I do it? well I actually found that pot is a lie to you body and mind. You can get a way better feeling by just doing things you love. My projects are back and I am now getting high from life. No more guilt, no more feeling like I am having a heart attack and no more forgetting stuff! why the hell I wanted to smoke that s*** is beyond me except to say that it does have a center feeling about it and that is the addition. but believe me you can get that if you find something to do! I am fortunate that I found something that I absolutely love to do. Find it and you will be free. And forget that Jesus crap unless you become a real fanatic, then that might help as well!
|Posted by: scouseman June 5, 2015, 8:36 AM|
|My girl tried to use this sort if pressure against me but I told her I cant quit under these conditions and any promises to this eeffect is an instant lie so its a promise I know I can't so I cant make. We still together all though I want to stop but cant I find when I try I get angry and take it out on them close to me and pushing them away until the point I crack and go back to it. Normally out of fear of letting my little girl see it when I pick her up and im so scared I dont know what to do I creat so much pressure generated through fear and anger I feel lost at times.|
|Posted by: deez nuts June 9, 2015, 11:21 AM|
|Posted by: Tom June 30, 2015, 5:10 PM|
|If it makes you feel any better I've been addicted to heroin and managed to give that up once by cold turkey and another on a short detox pretty much resulting in cold turkey just delayed. However I cannot seem to stop smoking weed. When I got clean from heroin the last time and final time hopefully, I threw a 100 pounds (UK) vaporiser in the bin and flushed a half Oz of weed down the toilet, yet two months later I'm back on the weed.
I'm very afraid as I do not want to go back to heroin addiction. I almost died on my last relapse.
I can't seem to help but smoke weed.
I'm in a 12 step program and even that won't stop me. I no longer no what to do.
|Posted by: Lisa July 10, 2015, 10:46 PM|
|I am 40 years old and i have been smoking for 10 years. I am only happy when i smoke. When I'm not able to smoke, i just think about after work when i know i can. I never really wanted to quit but i can't afford. I have a car that is about to s*** the bed, and i live paycheck to paycheck. I spend $110 a week. I've been known to call the phone company or cable and told them I'd pay next week so i could buy a bag. I don't know what it's like to live sober and with a clear head. I'm always tired. I'm sure it's gonna suck but I'm quitting cold turkey on Monday|
|Posted by: Rich July 19, 2015, 6:00 PM|
|Hello I just recently graduated college with a 4.0 and I believe my reason for success was weed. I am 5 days clean and I have been smoking for 9 years. I was able to ace every test HIGH. I now know every high end job needs hair tests. I need to be real this I get so board and just give in. I almost did today. I know I need to get rid of the people in my life that cause it but it's my family. What to do what to do I really like this cite and I feel with help and time I will have more money and sanity. I need helpwww.addictionrecoveryguide.org|
|Posted by: sb July 28, 2015, 11:49 PM|
|I feel weed is not helping me anymore. I've been smoking every day for the past 18 years. I feel like I'm lost in the weeds. I do things out of habit. Weed has been giving me anxiety the past few years and I've been questioning the benefits. I'm sitting outside about to light up even though ive made it all day. i don't want to but i just ate dinner and like i said habitually i puff after i eat. I would probably feel good but I've always said i puff for my anger. as i look back over the years pot doesn't really help. maybe if i had a pot button and was instantly stoned every time sometime happened that would work. but in reality it doesn't work like that. I'm starting to think its making it worse.|
|Posted by: garnethtepper August 3, 2015, 12:32 AM|
|There are many medical problems associated with marijuana usage, Don’t use it. I know it’s hard to quit this weed since it’s too addictive. You can think of activities that makes you happy and have fun without drugs. I think, if you have enough confidence and willing power, you can easily quit this habit. In your case, you have an urge to quit it and know the reason why you are addicted to it. This desire to overcome the addiction is important for a recovery process. Be prepared for the withdrawal and make a plan to get rid of this habit. If you can’t do it by yourself, then seek the help of an addiction treatment center. My brother had sought the help of Edgewood health network in Toronto for the withdrawal of codeine. that was very effective. An addiction center can suggest you good techniques to get rid of weeds. All the tools and resources needed for a recovery will be provided by them.
|Posted by: Lovebird2234 August 15, 2015, 6:42 PM|
|Hi I'm mica and I have only been smoking weed for about 5 months and I have tried to stop but I'm always around people that smoke and peer pressure always drag me in and then I'm high all over again! Before I started smoking weed I had a great job at a nursing home working as a CNA... I have a 3 year old boy that has to look up to me and a really GREAT friend that I'm so close to losing if I dont change my lifestyle! I wanna get back on track but everytime I try its like the marijuana drags me back in and I know its a mental thing but geesh its so addicting after you start! Somebody please help me!!|
|Posted by: dcp August 17, 2015, 3:54 PM|
|Hello I have been smoking weed for 25-30 years, and I really need to quit, because of health reasons, but I have been smoking so long I cant do it, need help bad, what should I do? thanks dcp|
|Posted by: Mdm August 26, 2015, 9:03 PM|
Seems there hasn't been activity here for a while. The thread has been quite encouraging, though. Anyway's since im here... Starting my journey today. I've tried to quit a couple of times in the last 3 years but ive always relapsed.
I shall try and chronicle my journey here everyday for people to see what it is like to have marijuana run your life and how hard/easy it is to quit. Wish me luck.
|Posted by: Lola August 27, 2015, 9:19 PM|
|I'm in the same boat as everyone else! I've been smoking for about 11 years, off and on, but mostly on. Been trying to quit in the past couple years and have found it a struggle. High anxiety, feel on edge, feel like I'm nicer when I'm smoking and helps my creativity. I'm actually very productive and active when I'm smoking, but I do become more anti-social and have struggled with not being able to not smoke before inappropriate times (like my professional job or even giving a speech or having a meeting). I'm a Christian and I feel that God wants me to quit because he has much better plans for me. I have tried to justify it and justify it, but ultimately I know I want to be free from it.
It has been very refreshing and comforting to me to find this message board and see people's posts that sound so much like what I'm experiencing.
I am fortunate that over the past year or so I have been using just a tiny bit. I would buy only tiny amounts at a time, I bought 1 or 1/2 gram at a time off a friend. And then if I got a sudden feeling like "no! don't smoke! you need to stop!" I would just throw it away and it didn't feel like I was wasting tons of money. Plus, if I didn't get the urge to throw it away, at least it would run out quickly! I would use a one hitter or even a potato or apple and just smoke a tiny bit and then move on to whatever else I was doing. Just enough to numb a little of the anxiety or depression. I would imagine that going from that to nothing would be much easier than going cold turkey from doing bong rips all day every day.
I think the most important thing is to keep your head up, love yourself, forgive yourself, be nice to yourself and have positive beliefs about the future. I've also been working out regularly, praying and watching lots of funny comedies. They also say surrounding yourself with lots of supportive, non-smoking people is good.
|Posted by: steve September 3, 2015, 5:34 PM|
|hello i need to stop smoking .i,ve been to jail for growing the s***. but continue to smoke .how stupied a .just can't as of yet .need to|
|Posted by: Papa Bear September 3, 2015, 6:43 PM|
If you can't then get to NA like millions of others do. They'll help you.
All the best.
|Posted by: rory September 15, 2015, 5:09 AM|
Sounds like your a attention seeker whether it be on here or in your life, synthetic weed as you name it is laced with the scum residue of meth & bleach which gives you a rush No nodding off with hunger kicking in hours later, no hunger with syns its all about staying awake & getting jobs done..Don/'t be fooled thinking its like good ol smoko its the opposite it will haveyou going for weeks. GET OF IT.....Best of luck rory..
|Posted by: amanda October 14, 2015, 9:48 PM|
|I need help to stop smoking weed|
|Posted by: Ellie October 21, 2015, 10:28 PM|
i was clean for 24 days. And since then i am smoking if i really need some or if someone wants to smoke.( its like 1st day with weed and then for eg 2 or 3 days without) although the first f***ing week was the worst :O After these 24 days it was my bfs birthday and i felt like i needed to smoke so i did) However i got that one best friend and the problem is here that i want to quit but shes not :( and i dunno what to do...
|Posted by: Guest November 24, 2015, 12:03 AM|
|hey guys im richie and im 25 yrs old and weed has taken over my life for about ten years now . I have tryed to quit sp many times , but nothing feels the same ! I dnt have much of a social life due to weed so it became kind of a hobbie and friend . I want to quit badly and i need asvice on how and things i can do on my own or with other people to keep myself busy and not smoke|
|Posted by: Lorenzo November 25, 2015, 5:24 PM|
|I'm 28 and I have smoked pot almost every single day since I was 16.. weed has been my best friend and it's been relied on as crutch for years, I even smoked when I was pregnant but thank God I did no apparent damage to my child the thought I did it though makes me sick I can't seem to get a grip on smoking. I manage to hold down a decent job and my child and partner want for nothing however weed consumes my every waking moment, for years I was known for my liberal habits and I couldn't of cared less what anyone thought. Now it seems like such a dirty little secret even my partner has said if I carry on smoking he will eventually leave me, my warped mind pushes the limits... I have spent the last 12 months saying this will be the last bag but as I'm writing this I'm thinking gonna smoke what's in front of me and thats it.. I can't rely on the numbness anymore I need to sort my life out..|
|Posted by: Shywun January 13, 2016, 6:59 AM|
|Hi guys, so awesome reading all your stories. Thanks for sharing them they are very inspiring. Im soon to be 26 im a girl. ...so i think i am or is it woman now lol ? I've had anxiety my whole life and probably became depressed around 13. I started smoking weed and cigarettes when i was 16 full on, mentally i don't think I've aged much since then. It started out fun now it has completely taken over my life. I can't focus on anything i hate it. Im scared of everything and everyone! I hate everything and find fun in nothing but smoking weed and chain smoking cigarettes!!! but i hate that too. Im writing this high. I want to get help but it's so hard to get help. I make appointments with doctors and never go. I feel hopeless, useless and am negative am the time. But i know i can quit. i just have to do it. I want to because i have no life because of it and physically my body is suffering. I'm just tired, mentally and physically. It felt good to get that off my chest. I feel a little hope after reading your posts and because deep down i really want to do it. I hate these addictions. Hope you are all doing well.|
|Posted by: Andre May 17, 2016, 6:21 PM|
|I'm Andre. Right now weed is kind of stopping me from reaching my goals.. I could be getting a job at Ford motor company soon. I also have a girlfriend who is 5 months pregnant im 25 now been smoking since I was 14 the only time I ever stopped is when I was in the juvenile home that was when I was 17.. I want to quit so bad but feels like i can't I smoke at least twice a day.. And always smoke when I get out of work.. I tried to go a day without it but it makes me feel like I can have anxiety attacks if I don't smoke.. I just want to see if I can quit and see how life is without being high like when I was a kid|
|Posted by: Alex25 July 30, 2016, 6:19 PM|
|Same trouble, bro
|Posted by: Marc August 24, 2016, 4:39 PM|
|this is by far the hardest thing I have tried... been smoking weed since the late 70s and can't quit... the longest period without was 3 days.. by choice.. not by choice was 1 month.. I guess my next step is asking for help...at 55 yrs old I cannot go much longer without quiting... don't want to die from it...help seems so far away...quit cigarettes on my own after 30 years..why can't I stop weed like I did smokes cold turkey...plus where I moved to its more money and can't afford it. ...yet somehow I do....wish I could stop now|
|Posted by: PFM September 6, 2016, 12:42 PM|
|Is anyone still out there for me? In so deep, I need help.|
|Posted by: Marc September 10, 2016, 7:30 PM|
|Yeah im here...|
|Posted by: Maxwell November 11, 2016, 12:14 AM|
|Hi my name is max and I'm 14
I've been smoking weed for a year now and what used to be a once in a while thing turned into a twice a day thing. I have lied to my parents so much that they dont trust any word I say any more. My grades have went from A's and B' s to straight F' s. I read all the messages on this chat and I really want to quit. I want to go to NA but I just mentally can't accept the fact that I'm addicted. All I do everyday when I'm not at school is play video games and watch movies while high. I have been hanging out with 17 year old dropouts that have no form of smarts and I'm really starting to think that I will soon be as dumb as them. I'm not one of those kids that smokes to be cool or from peer pressure. I smoke because I simply don't like myself when I'm sober. I'm very antisocial and have zero relation ship skills. But when I'm high, talking to girls just comes naturally. I have stolen so much money from my parents and other family members and I don't know how I can't feel one little bit of guilt. Bottom line is, I really want to make a change in my life and get back on track but weed just follows me everywhere. Everyone at school knows I smoke and thinks of me as a low life good for nothing pot head. As much as I love that sweet sweet mj I know that giving it up is the best thing I could do. I'm probably not gonna get an answer to this because it's so old but if anyone is going through what I am and needs a person to talk to just as I do. Than kik me or snap chat me
|Posted by: DON December 13, 2016, 10:24 PM|
|Hey i know this is a very old discussion but I was just reading through it and it really helped.. I'm 17 years old, in grade 12 trying to get into university and trying to have a life ahead of me. for the passed 2 months I have been coming home from school and smoking 2-5 bowls every night. For the passed 3 weeks I have been so disappointed in myself because I've never touched a drug in my life and I've gone through a lot of really bad s**t in my life that I don't really wanna share. I have moved high schools every single year and it's really hard for me because I'm really not confident and I'm really bad at making friends. Last night my parents found out about how I smoked (and they are very against drugs) so I really feel like s**t and I'm so disappointed in myself.. I really want to stop, like so bad.. but the urge is literally killing me, and yes I know I've only been doing it consistently for about 2 months while a lot of people on here have been doing it for years, but I'm still struggling so much and I can't imagine how everybody else felt.. I have a lot of problems in my life so it's very hard for me to break a habit that made me feel happy for once.. I have depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD etc.. so smoking really helps to basically take a vacation from my crazy mind every night. It has also made me lie to my girlfriend about how often I smoke because she worries about me and if she knew how much I smoked, she would be so disappointed in me. and it really doesn't help that we're in a long distance relationship so smoking helps me cope with that too.. If anyone has some advice for me or just wants to say something nice I would really appreciate it, little things like that mean the world to me. Thank you for reading my little story and i hope to hear back from a couple people :)|
|Posted by: SerenitySeeker December 15, 2016, 5:59 PM|
Good for you buddy. You realize there is a problem. I'm 56 days without a drink or a bet. It's been the most difficult to say goodbye to weed because I was using it as a medication for my anxiety and I thought for my depression. I'm currently in intensive outpatient therapy with a emphasis on my gambling addiction. I see a therapist one on one, once a week and attend group therapy meetings as often as possible. This week I've made three (Yay me! Better than the zero I was doing for a couple weeks). It's all about spiritual progress not spiritual perfection. I am coming to terms with my addiction to weed. I also found out from my therapist that the weed is not helping my depression, rather making it worse. So, damn! there's that.... Here's the thing. I started out going to University of Oregon my freshman year of college from a biggest little city in the world. So, I had big dreams. I made it into the college of my dreams....I was off to a fresh start. I did well until I found alcohol. Some to the thanks of my long distance boyfriend some thanks to the mere college atmosphere I was thrust into without any supervision. I was 3,000 miles from my family and anyone I knew. I had to make new friends. Alcohol made it easier to feel sexy and flirty and all that...trying to get male attention.
Long story short I found both of my biggest vices that year....weed and alcohol. Although I put down weed after the first time trying it with not much interest until months if not years after the first experience. I used it then as a social thing. It was the "cool" thing....
Then I began a new relationship with someone who smoked every day all day. This quickly became my routine.
Once breaking from that relationship I could take it or leave it for a period of time but I knew I enjoyed it. Fast forward to the last year and a half it's been a daily thing again. It's not really been an issue...or at least at the time. I had a job.... now that I'm looking for a job again due to the unfortunate event of the company I left my long standing job for, sold. Grrrr, that's totally separate but has definitely been one of the triggers to smoke more.
Stress of not having a job makes me want to smoke. The flip side....I can't get back into a good job until I quit.... get my system clean. I'm on a path of being 100% honest with myself and others.... If I were to attempt to get a job the old way (fake test) I would feel guilty and really know that God would not bless something that I got through deception.
There in lie my conundrum. I need to quit....I want to quit so that I can have an EVEN MORE clear head about things as I see it does cloud my judgment and my thoughts. Alcohol is gone. Weed was my hangover cure....anti depressant....now that I don't have hangovers and that I hear that it's not helping my depression I basically have the bottom line. I love to smoke, I love the smell of it...although as a child I despised it.
Inner struggle....inner battle....life is a battle. They say pick your battles.... this is the next one I'm picking. This and smoking cigarettes. Smoking D day is Christmas 2016....
I will no longer inhale any substance that is not prescribed by my doctor and I will not seek out a RX for CBD.
Hopefully, Don, my blabbing (kind of to myself) will help you in some way. I just know how lost I feel and how lost you must feel being I have a few years on you. You can do this buddy.....you really can. If I can quit gambling and drinking for 56 days straight....you can do this. I have faith in you. I will pray for you!
|Posted by: Shy November 23, 2017, 8:45 PM|
|How is everybody doing, i have gotten a little better i finally started doing some counselling and understanding why i do the things ido and feel the way i do. Cognitive behavioural therapy is the best way to change your thinking. It enables you then to change your habits. Give it a go guys i am mentally in a better place !|
|Posted by: Jet0912 December 27, 2017, 9:14 PM|
|Not surprising people find it difficult to stop- i have three middle aged friends who have been smoking it since they were teenagers and all except one say they can't stop.
The third told me he was trying to stop and had discovered the real problem; it was the tobacco all along....But guess which one he still does, yes, it's the weed so for him the weed is even harder to give up than tobacco!
My son used to get so desperate for weed he would steel from us to get it!
In the UK alot of weed smokers strongly deny weed is addictive and you will get shot down by some for even suggesting it MIGHT be. Instead it's quite common for people to blame it all on the tobacco!
I said this to my son (a decade long weed user) and he just laughed ' why do we bother putting weed in there then instead of just smoking plain tobacco, it would save us a load of money!'
Seems the USA is (as with many things) way ahead of us on this one and so people will at least get support and understanding because it's already recognised to be a genuine problem.
The product has changed and as other posters have pointed out, it's the stuff that's being added to it that's adding to the problem. To make matters worse i have read that it's actually very hard to find the purer forms here in UK anymore so all in all its no longer the 'harmless' drug you did once or twice in college or that is made fun of in some comedy films, it's actually just another potentially dangerous drug best avoided in the first place.
|Posted by: Cera June 7, 2018, 3:57 PM|
|I am in the same, except instead of my Boyfriend breaking up with me, I converted him into a pod head. I regret this so bad and this is one of the reasons I am quitting. I am a slave to weed I’ve been watching YouTube videos, attended an NA meetings and I’m tapering down, and trying to focus on all the good things that come when you finally break the bondage. It is an addiction and many people don’t Believe that and it makes it harder to quit because you yourself are convinced that it’s not necessarily a bad thing. But if you can’t stop to say have a great relationship then obviously it is a problem for some, including me. I smoke 3x a day for 20 years. I have a great job, kids, everything I need but Marijuana has manipulated me to think I am not happy unless I smoke. I want to be clear headed now. I KNOW weed has held me back, I am so ambitious when I am not high, but Im always high and going nowhere. Give up weed if you are dependent on it, soooooo much to gain. Wishing everyone wanting to quite the best of luck 🙏|
|Posted by: ethanaidenies December 17, 2018, 7:54 AM|
| I want to smoke weed?
Ok so i'm 13 and i want to smoke marijuana because marijuana users report less depression and can cure blindness i read that on a few websites :)And because I am nearly always stressed..i need something to relax me :3
I also know ALOT about it.
But I have been diagnosed with depression and i have aspergers syndrome.
So i was wondering is it ok if is smoke some?
Will it mess with my brain?
Also I am short sited,thus i can't see very well without my glasses...will cannabis affect my eyesight?
And I am VERY anxious
|Posted by: Overfifty55 December 18, 2018, 9:51 AM|
|No it’s not okay if you start smoking. Sorry but you need to let your parents and doctor know your still having depression. Your just too young to take this route. Be strong and don’t do drugs. Can you talk with your school counselor or is there someone else if you can’t talk to your parents? Do you have any friends? Are you around people who use it? Smoking is a bad choice especially at your age. Your brain is still developing and doesn’t need smoking. Please be diligent and seek help. Please keep posting. Sorry to be so blunt but I started smoking at 14 and I have regrets. Happy holidays🎄|