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Message Board > Alcohol > I'm Sorry


Posted by: WishingWell July 21, 2019, 5:20 AM
I went 280 days without a drink, then I went back and all kinds of problems arised. I lost like 30 lbs and then I go back drinking from a trigger. Please pray for me, because on some real s*** 2 days ago would've marked 1 year. Starting over sucks, but seeing yourself rejuvenate is real. Ty alcohol for the money fulishly spent and pain in my body. Let's try this again only to be successful. I love partying , but I'm not good . Much love . Hopefully saying this drunk, keeps .... God Bless

Posted by: SoberInMI July 21, 2019, 10:38 AM
It is typical for an alcoholic to only see the negative and kick their own butt in guilt, shame, and remorse. But you accomplished a remarkable feat, you had 280 days or more than 9 months sober, the longest period of sobriety you had in many years and you can do it again!

All you need to do is double-down and use the tools you learned to stay away from alcohol in the first place and learn new ones. Never forget that you went back to where you left off at and that worse is coming. Also don't forget the guilt, shame, and remorse you are feeling next time you feel like picking up. You can tough out a few hours instead of toughing it out every day. Commit to 24 hours of abstinence less if you are being tested.

Remember that your next drink may be your last one ever and that the consequences of your drinking may be much worse next time. For example, you may kill somebody driving drunk or even do horrific things to your own body.

This hard-headed drunk got sober and some many others have; you can do it too!

Posted by: pirate July 21, 2019, 8:34 PM
Hi Wishing . Welcome back. I know the remorse and guilt that accompanies a relapse but letting yourself dwell in guilt will keep you stuck in addiction. Forgive yourself for being an alcoholic and human and begin to work a program that will help you live sober.You didnt lose the time you had sober, those days are still there waiting to be picked up where you left off. Take this relapse as an experience and a lesson learned. Let it teach instead of defeat. You did it before and you can do it again! Just take one day at a time and be willing to let others help. Keep coming back. I am so glad to see you return :) ..hugs

Posted by: SoberInMI July 21, 2019, 9:59 PM
Wishing Well:

I have to disagree with Pirate, the sobriety clock starts over because sober time is impliedly continuous: "You didnt [sic] lose the time you had sober, those days are still there waiting to be picked up where you left off.”

Imagine you only binge drink on the weekends, 104 days a year not counting Fridays. You would gain 261 days sobriety a year if you put all your sober time together. But are binge drinkers really sober?

To the extent that Pirate meant that you can build on your 280 days, I do agree. And if that was what Pirate meant, I apologize for being argumentative.

Posted by: WishingWell July 22, 2019, 3:32 AM
I've felt like crap these past 3 months. I often thought about this group and read posts of you guys wondering about my well-being. I was like a dog with my tail between my legs. I didn't have it in me to respond . I apologize for that. I'm sorry for those who I let down and trust me I'm feeling the pain and hurt. I told everyone I'm done again. I don't know if talk is cheap or am I really going to do it? Today is day #2 should be day #367. Missed you pirate hugs!

Let's do good again

Love,
Wishing

Posted by: 12 stepper July 22, 2019, 7:14 AM
What are you going to do different?

Posted by: SoberInMI July 22, 2019, 12:56 PM
Wishing Well:

Remember what the last 3 months have been like when you want to pick up again and when you start slacking on your program because dealing with things in the moment, toughing it out when you want to escape back into the bottle, or are too lazy to do what you have to do to maintain your sobriety, is only a few hours in length instead of 3 months or longer and may entail one or more - jail, institutions and death.

I have had two girlfriends, two biological grandparents, and two step grandparents die of the disease of alcoholism. I found one girlfriend dead, the second was yellow with jaundice and unconsous on her death bed when I last saw her, and the grandparents thing involved swapping wives and in their later years moving one town apart; my biological grandfather was from Akron, OH, birthplace of A.A., and extremely successful until forcibly retired due to his alcoholism. A 39 year old local alcoholic went out on Valentine's Day and died when she choked on her own vomit leaving a young son without a mother.

May God bless you with renewed sobriety.

Posted by: pirate July 22, 2019, 6:30 PM
Hi Wishing. So glad to see you post again. You are very fortunate in that you have another chance at life and at living sober. I know there will be difficult days ahead but they won't be as difficult as it will become if you continue to drink. Remember how good you felt when you were sober compared to how terrible you felt when you drank. You can have those days back again. . Those days were an accomplishment and you got a taste of the sober life. You can do that again and build a stronger foundation. Life is short, it is even shorter in addiction. I hope you choose to be a survivor of this terrible disease. keep coming back and I hope you will find the advice offered here useful and will be willing to give it a try...

Posted by: WishingWell July 24, 2019, 12:52 AM
Starting day #4

Posted by: pirate July 24, 2019, 12:24 PM
Awesome! What are your plans to keep it going?

Posted by: WishingWell July 25, 2019, 1:08 AM
Hi Pirate,

Getting myself addicted to drinking water again, being excited that I'll be back feeling better again and some weight loss, and to know that yes I made a mistake but also know that I went 9 months without drinking and That's 9 months I could've been drinking and hurt myself even more. I'm doing my best to stay in as much as possible as I did last time I first started to flush out my system . That's all for now.

Love,
Wishing

Day#5

Posted by: 12 stepper July 25, 2019, 7:08 AM
The things you did last time didn't seem to work long term. What are you going to do differently? Most people can't just put the plug in the jug and say ok I'm done. There has to be change. There has to be a plan of action. Are you going to go to AA, therapy, church? What are you going to do to change?

Posted by: sad eyes July 25, 2019, 9:06 AM
So glad your back on this board again, you've done it once before you can do it again, and you know more what to expect in recovery, keep it up

Posted by: WishingWell July 25, 2019, 1:23 PM
12 stepper,
What I did last time did work. I pulled the plug cold turkey as I'm doing now. Unfortunately I went back to drinking because I thought my mom had cancer. No matter what program I may have been working or what. It would've resulted in the same outcome and me having drinks at that time. I have to be honest not only with you or anyone else, but myself.

So in all reality what I did last time did work that's 9 months in a year without drinking and my goal is to make it 21 months out of 24 without a drink.

Thanks,
Wishing

Posted by: pirate July 25, 2019, 7:02 PM
Hi Wishing. What do you mean that your goal is for 21 months?

Posted by: WishingWell July 25, 2019, 8:50 PM
Meaning that my goal is 1 year this time and that out of two years I only drank 3 months. I'm not saying I'm going to go back but my 280 days I went are not lost in my mind.
Those could've been 280 days I did drink.

Posted by: WishingWell July 28, 2019, 11:55 AM
Day #8 and now taking a new organic super foods drink daily that has 31 fruits and vegetables. Yum , not really but really good for you!

Wishing

Posted by: WishingWell July 29, 2019, 2:26 AM
#9

Posted by: pirate July 29, 2019, 6:45 AM
Good for you wishing! keep it up . Glad you are back and have a second chance. You can do it!

Posted by: pirate August 6, 2019, 12:30 PM
Hi Wishing. How are you doing?

Posted by: Alexendra Berehnova September 5, 2019, 6:09 AM
Good wishes for you! keep it up