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Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > The Culture Of Drunk Driving

Posted by: samegame October 14, 2019, 1:19 PM
Found this while searching for information on various alkie and addict issues. Older but relevant.

One of things they mention or describe is the culture of drunk driving and a dui/dwi or 2 is a badge of honor in those circles. I've seen it. And that's the problem. It's not just a weak or pos individual it's a culture or group that are just as dangerous. This same culture/circle of 'friends' promote drinking and help the offender/alkie rationalize and minimize the dui's. They create/fester an us vs them culture between themselves and the sober/police.

That same culture now has the alkie ginned up against the police because they got nabbed several times actually for duis. Both known arrests weren't at a check point either they were for poor driving/signs of a drunk driver.

Problem is now the alkie hid his later offenses from a parent who let them on their car insurance policy. They found out and we begged them not to allow it to no avail. Now being forced to get their first policy since that dui arrest over 5 years ago they all the sudden are the 'victim' of higher rates and police(again). His attitude toward police is bitter. Every time he passes a police car he says I hope they're doing more than catching drunk drivers. He is also looking for people to use their home as a mailing address for lower car insurance (rate evasion) or to go on their policy(fronting). Both are considered fraud by the insurance industry and some states. In the meantime the bar/party life roll on unimpeded for him. You can tell when his buddies in the culture get him ginned up on various issues.

Point is when trying to help an addict/alkie one is also fighting a culture that helps rationalize, minimize and enable their behavior. The culture for drunk driving includes bar tenders and wait staff that give free alcohol for tips, friends buying drinks/keeping the alkie plied with alcoho and bars & alcohol companies that promote their service/product as a good time. If they want to promote a taste or content that's one thing but many of these commercials imply drink this and you'll have a good time at a party or in a bar like those in the commercial.

The individual is still responsible but it's a lot tougher for them and advocates/supporters of a sober life when they voluntarily join/become part of CULTures like this.

Posted by: Sallyanna October 14, 2019, 10:32 PM
In my opinion, most people with a severe addiction live in a subculture to varying degrees. Its who and where they 'fit in'. They may not even like the people however they can do whatever they do with them and it's all okay. It's like a Lord of the Flies, they probably steal from each other and who knows what else. I don't really want to know....Its a completely different lifestyle and substardard of living.

Posted by: samegame October 15, 2019, 3:52 PM
addicted in their own subculture

Absolutely Sallyanna. Some could be their by or choice or convenience ie chemical availability.

But there is also that culture or subculture where the group members just don't tolerate the addict they want them there to validate their addiction lifestyle. A party is no fun without people so to speak. Sorta of like kids asking another parent letting their friend out to play. And being intoxicated everything everybody says is right. Both and addict and group want that echo chamber.

Also some cultures exist or thrive off of the partying/drinking the group does. Not their actual purpose or mission. For what ever reason the organization, the way they do business enables or promotes drinking and drugs. Some call it camaraderie others mince no words an excuse to drink, drug, party etc.

Regardless those groups have an influence over the individual. That's why the rehab community frequently recommends the person getting out the environment where the addiction is fueled or facilitated.

Posted by: Sallyanna October 15, 2019, 9:56 PM
Samegame you obviously have given this much thought-very interesting the points you make. People are either extroverts or introverts. The extroverts thrive around being with other people, the introverts not so much. I've know some people with addictions who prefer to be alone. They may be around other people to get their DOC then they leave.

Sounds like 'mooch' is an of the party. I don't really see him drinking alone much unless he has to. I think he prefers the crowd scene. I'm just speculating based on what you have posted. He seems to have his identity all wrapped up with these other people. He really needs them for a lot of things which should be intrinsic. He needs external validation.

I think he would be a good 'case study' for a medical school Psychiatry class. His pathology is diverse.

Posted by: samegame October 16, 2019, 11:13 AM
Sallyanna, you nailed it again identifying with others. Although he does drink alone but being in a group or in a bar makes drinking alone worse because he doesn't want to lose the buzz. And life of the party absolutely. Of his original peers he is the only one that hasn't moved on/grown up. He doesn't want the party to stop partly because of his more current adult peers. He is also constantly seeking validation.

But the identifying with others has caused many problem. He likes to identify with management. More precisely he knows several managers from a company he worked for. They're a millionaire. He's constantly going to them for advice which is dangerous because his contrived image will only allow him to speak 'facts' that reflect positively on him. And what applies to them doesn't to him. But this falls in line with him being a middle aged adult talking like a boy talking/acting like an adult. This has created crazy expectations and a sense of entitlement. Partly because that company was a family business ie he wants our family to consider his life our business literally and financially. Also he always acts like he's in charge since hanging out with ex management apparently makes him smarter......

As you pointed out in other posts because of his age he probably wont' change but he still must be dealt with for now anyway.