Printable Version of Topic
Click here to view this topic in its original format
Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > Who Helped Put The Alkies & Addicts On Their Pat

Posted by: samegame October 3, 2019, 4:26 PM
WHO helped put your alkie or addict on their current path of addiction and abuse. Who introduced them to their drug/addiction of choice. WHO did it with them regularly? WHO helped validate existing bad behavior and life choices. Here was an adult/adults

Here the alkie got in involved in management from a weekend warrior sports league going out drinking with a coach/manager almost twice his age-when not partying/bar hopping with teamates. First problem younger person drinking with an older adult because that adult helps validate drinking from being in a position of authority and experience(not that it means much but younger people look for that). Second problem is that when large groups of people do the samething that's even more validation. Then the alkie had several jobs where he purposely tried to kiss up to the management who also set bad examples by doing or talking about their partying experiences. Apparently at least one manager was into cocaine. Like it or not being older one is a role model like or not, doesn't have to blatant but the elders are frequently automatically given automatic respect and credibility(not earned but given). The alkie/addict still are responsible for their actions but when they see their superiors and/or elders behaving badly in their minds it must be ok to behave badly.

Anyway, WHO was the person, organization or company that helped get your alkie or addict started.

Posted by: Sallyanna October 4, 2019, 1:55 AM
Samegame good question. I think for my daughter it was an imperfect storm. A combination of temperment, peer group, trying to fit in, homelife, predisposition, and opportunity. I think it was (like most addictions) fun at first.Then she realized she couldn't stop because of the physical and emotional dependency then the vicious cycle begins and gets established. Then failed attempts to recover...

Posted by: samegame October 6, 2019, 11:05 AM
Sallyanna I can see a younger person susceptible to all of those things. What surprised me here is that adult child always seem to fall in with adult alkies and addicts. His teenage peer group with whom he partied and did drugs & partied moved on. Literally and physically. They grew up, pursued degrees, careers, marriage etc. He did not and fell in with adults/elders who became his mentor/role model that did drugs/advocated the party he too might have been able to move on.

I think with young people it's important that get at least one or two trips to rehab simply to get them away from the friends and environment that's perpetuating their drug use. Getting them away from enablers, group think and the venues which helps propel their drug use is just as important as taking the chemical out of the equation.

Posted by: Sallyanna October 6, 2019, 1:41 PM
Yes, 'birds of a feather flock together' no matter what their age is. From my own experiences and my daughter who 'moved away' (9 hours away) to start over, 'no matter where you go, there you are' seems to fit. She was able to find her DOC there too and be around really shady people. Like you have said and we all know, they have to want sobriety and do what it takes.

Posted by: samegame October 9, 2019, 9:36 AM
Birds of a feather flock together. SO TRUE

Here the alkie and that older "mentor" flocked together in more ways than one. Sadly it involves the children in their lives. All that time out drinking with each other instead of being home with the children in their has lead to one high school flunky/delinquent and another deceased from overdose child.

They both complain about the police and their dui arrests and how it's unfair and they were the victims of corrupt police-NOT.

And sadly they both consider their children 'victims'. Yeah victims of their absence, crappy role parenting and lifestyle. The alkie here helped "raise" raise his gf's child who flunked a year as a high school student while being a documented juvenile delinquent with numerous drug related events/issues. The mother also got in trouble with child services. The 'mentor' lost one of his kids to an od. "Oh such a tragedy" which it is but a little self reflection please. You can't tell me all that time away from home in a bar or being drunk around the house helped those children I'm sorry how does a child flunk courses in high school in this day and age of no child left behind. Children notice what parents and adults do and don't do. After a certain point they know they have a drunk for a parent. Just one last note one of his other ex drinking/party peers also has a juvenile delinquent flunkout for a child. How is that not a reflection of their intoxicated life.