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Posted: February 18, 2005, 8:07 PM
This may help somebody today -- an introduction to the Drama Triangle | ||
Posted: February 18, 2005, 8:20 PM
Hello Bob B.
Let me tell you what's been going on in my crazy life. My b/f showed up at my door on Valentine's day with a dozen colorful roses and a diamond and saffire ring. Don't really know what to think of this, except that he is sending me a message that I love you or, love what you have and I still want it. Anyway, the best that I can think of this situation is this, "I don't have to steal from you to show you that I can get you something nice from me." We had a wonderful time together, cooked, went places, had fun, he has already purchased tickets for Sting in April, to the Baltimore Craft Council next weekend. I just don't know what to think anymore. He's not here tonight, and I don't really mind because I know my property inside is OK. I remember when I got my burgler system up and going again, he called me on my cell phone, which he bought for me when I retired, and he called during an afternoon, and I opened the front door and the system said, "sensor 1, front door open!" and he said to me, "You did that because of ME." I thought well, hell, if the shoe fits. wear it. I need to hear some words of wisdom. His cousin and his late girlfriend both said that "he doesn't steal." Wonder why they both said that. I wonder if they wanted me to take him off their hands. Oh, nuts!!! | ||
Posted: February 18, 2005, 9:04 PM
hh, I have an older sister whose husband of over 25 died prematurely, leaving her a widow in her late 50s. I know there is lonliness and companionship is a treasured thing.
However, this person has stolen from you, brought illegal substances into your home, and in fact used illegal substances in your kitchen. his activities towards you borders on the obsessive. he can't be trusted in your home. locking doors because you are afraid of his stealing is a clue. if you must see him, let him entertain you in public places, like restaurants, etc. trust your instincts. be careful. lock your doors. don't give him money. keep him out of your house. don't let him borrow your car. keep your finances private and confidential. with the deaths that you have experienced, you may still be quite vulnerable. be alert. i've known widows who open their finances to all the wrong people and have paid a very high price for trusting the wrong person or letting the wrong person into their life. | ||
Posted: February 18, 2005, 9:17 PM
Hi Bob B,
He knows of my financial situation, because he knows the realtor that belongs to my YC. He just wants in. I realize that. Too bad because he "seems" like a nice person, when, in fact, and he admitted this, he is not. I remember telling him, "you are not the nice person I want you to be, and he said you're right." I have to remember everything. I wish my hubband was still here. I sure miss him | ||
Posted: February 20, 2005, 2:34 AM
Bob,
Thanks for the site and information. I have copied this and sent to several of my friends and saved to read over and over. I still fall into that with my son at times. Judy jj, Keep on keeping on, you're doing great. Keep in touch. It's late and I've got the sniffles, gonna turn in. Judy -------------------- If you learn from your suffering, and really come to understand the lesson you were taught... you might be able to help someone else who's now in the phase you may have just completed. Maybe that's what it's all about after all... ~ Anonymous ~ | ||
Posted: February 20, 2005, 1:27 PM
Sorry, jj's message was meant for another post.
-------------------- If you learn from your suffering, and really come to understand the lesson you were taught... you might be able to help someone else who's now in the phase you may have just completed. Maybe that's what it's all about after all... ~ Anonymous ~ | ||
Posted: February 21, 2005, 12:52 AM
Dear hardhead,
When Bob said to be careful about finances, I thought I should share this. My daughter's mother-in-law was widowed very young....about 30. She had 3 kids with the oldest being about 10. She married later and out of the kindness of her heart helped him get started in a business. Well, he didn't handle money well and it failed. They are now divorced, but the debts were in her name and she's still responsible. She SHOULD be sitting pretty well financially now, but instead she had to downsize her house because she's still paying on those debts. Live and learn (unfortunately the hard way sometimes)! Good luck and BE CAREFUL!!!! Susan | ||
Posted: June 7, 2005, 12:44 PM
up
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Posted: November 10, 2005, 1:57 PM
this is really important, i think.
This post has been edited by Bob B. on November 10, 2005, 10:48 PM | ||
Posted: November 12, 2005, 9:48 PM
it has been crucial to my recovery, thanks for posting the reminder Bob
-------------------- "When the mind begins to become still, we then begin to truly see it. When you first try to stabilize and pacify the mind, initially it will become very busy because it’s not accustomed to being still. In fact, it doesn’t even necessarily want to become still, but it is essential to get a hold of the mind to recognize its nature. This practice is extremely important. ... Eventually you will find yourself in a state where your mind is clear and open all the time. It is just like when the clouds are removed from the sky and the sun can clearly be seen, shining all the time. This is coming close to the state of liberation, liberation from all traces of suffering. ... The truth of this practice is universal. It isn’t necessary to call it a religion to practice it. Whether one is a Hindu or a Moslem or a Christian or a Buddhist simply doesn’t matter. Anyone can practice this because this is the nature of the mind, the nature of everyone’s mind. If you can get a handle on your mind, and pacify it in this way, you will definitely experience these results, and you will see them in your daily life situation. There is no need to put this into any kind of category, any kind of "ism." ~Venerable Gyatrul Rinpoche | ||
Posted: November 13, 2005, 12:02 AM
yes, once we "get it" it helps a lot and we recognize when it's happening to us, or when we are letting it happen. it's extremely self defeating behavior. | ||
Posted: December 22, 2005, 10:47 PM
Up
-------------------- NOTHING CHANGES if NOTHING CHANGES | ||
Posted: December 22, 2005, 11:09 PM
I think this is important too.
As a mother, I will always have problems not offering help to my son. I don't think he abuses me though, I just don't think he understands the damage he has done to himself and the potential for future harm. However, and I thank God for this, he is doing much better. He has not smoked pot since 12/17. He has completed a six month course and now, if he can drug test clean, he can apply for a ward clerk position. His goals after that is to study for his RN. I am praying that God will continue to work with him and I can keep my mouth shut and my hands off. | ||
Posted: January 9, 2006, 9:55 PM
up | ||
Posted: March 2, 2006, 12:15 PM
bump
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Posted: March 2, 2006, 7:22 PM
The drama triangle being so everpresent lately exactly as you described...caused me so much anxiety that I bolted and rented my own apartment and now am just totally confused.
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Posted: March 28, 2006, 11:14 PM
bumperama
-------------------- "When the mind begins to become still, we then begin to truly see it. When you first try to stabilize and pacify the mind, initially it will become very busy because it’s not accustomed to being still. In fact, it doesn’t even necessarily want to become still, but it is essential to get a hold of the mind to recognize its nature. This practice is extremely important. ... Eventually you will find yourself in a state where your mind is clear and open all the time. It is just like when the clouds are removed from the sky and the sun can clearly be seen, shining all the time. This is coming close to the state of liberation, liberation from all traces of suffering. ... The truth of this practice is universal. It isn’t necessary to call it a religion to practice it. Whether one is a Hindu or a Moslem or a Christian or a Buddhist simply doesn’t matter. Anyone can practice this because this is the nature of the mind, the nature of everyone’s mind. If you can get a handle on your mind, and pacify it in this way, you will definitely experience these results, and you will see them in your daily life situation. There is no need to put this into any kind of category, any kind of "ism." ~Venerable Gyatrul Rinpoche | ||
Posted: March 30, 2006, 10:48 AM
Bump
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Posted: May 17, 2006, 9:58 PM
Bump
-------------------- NOTHING CHANGES if NOTHING CHANGES | ||
Posted: May 17, 2006, 10:50 PM
Evening Bob!
Many thanks for posting that great info. a |
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