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Posted: December 11, 2016, 10:48 PM

Posts: 3
Joined: December 11, 2016

Hi I'm new here looking for some advice and hopeing this is the best place to get it!
Iv been seeing my partner for over a year now and it's been good so far but Iv been told from a few people that he smokes heroin I asked him about it expecting him to say no but he didn't he told me he does the first time was 4 years ago when he tried it in prison! He's said he isn't addicted to it and can take it or leave it! I'm not sure if I believe him and I think he's trying to hide it he told me the last time he smoked it was days ago! I have my suspicions now becouse sometime he looks and acts different! Why do it if u no you can do without
Posted: December 12, 2016, 8:23 PM

Posts: 639
Joined: April 4, 2016

Loving welcome. . .thank you for entrusting your heart to us but so sorry that drugs have touched your life.

I'm the mom of an addict. Heroin is my girls drug of choice. But she will do whatever is available. In any event, she always under-estimated how much she uses. She was lying to me. . .and probably herself.

My spidey senses are tingling. . .I don't know too many people who dabble with heroin. Heroin is unlike some of the other drugs out there. At first they think that they can control heroin. But. . .Eventually. . .heroin controls them. My daughter went from A- college student to addict within 3 years. She stole money, jewelry, gift cards, anything & everything she could to fund her habit. Do you really want to see this slide into the dark side? And, , ,read some of the posts here. . .when your loved one descends into this madness, s/he brings you too. Do you really want to sign up & do this to yourself?

Sorry to be so blunt. Haven't eaten all day but smell hubby cooking. Any ol' way. . . let me continue being direct. . .

RUN . . .Do not walk. . .Do not pass Go. . .Do not collect $200. Ok . . .that's my 2 cents. No matter whether you decide to stay or step . . do keep coming back here for support, encouragement, hugs, info, affirmation. . .and. . .sometimes a nudge. Everything iss said with love. Read about co-dependency, detaching with love & enabling. If you decide to stay. . .Lock your stuff up & cut off access to all bank accounts & credit cards.

I hope that we are both wrong. But it is better to plan for the worst and hope for the best.

Hugs & prayers,

This post has been edited by hurtingmom on December 12, 2016, 8:25 PM


I forgot to read the fine print, when i signed up to be your Mom. I thought it would be smiles & hugs and quite a lot of fun.

I didn’t see the part about addiction, mental illness, pain, hopelessness or despair. I didn’t know life could be so flipping unfair.

But I now see something in the fine print that I didn’t see before. It also says to survive your addiction, I must love me more.

In Loving Memory of my angel, J. #forever21 #ihateaddiction #foreverloved
Posted: December 12, 2016, 9:32 PM

Posts: 1750
Joined: June 27, 2016

my son was addicted to pain meds. he probably dabbled in alcohol and pain meds for a few years after college. he never did heroin that we know of. the odd thing for us was that he never had money. never saved money. worked full time with a decent salary for years, yet never got to the next paycheck with money in the bank. never saved for car maintenance, or for a vacation, or any of the normal things that a young person in their twenties would save for. It was boarderline, gradual. Hard to tell. his behavior was never off at all. For about 6 months we thought he was gambling w friends. he was very good at hiding the usage. until we found some pills in his pocket, we were second guessing ourselves. from that point, over the next year his addiction got worse. but he still worked 7 days a week, more than full time. so we still though, How bad can it be if he is able to work. we thought he could quit on his own. but he couldn't.

look close at the signs and don't shrug them off. if it feels like something is wrong, then it is wrong. even if he has minimal use, you are valid in stating that it is all or nothing. quit it all or you will need to leave the relationship.

Posted: December 13, 2016, 12:35 AM

Posts: 3
Joined: December 11, 2016

Thank you so much for the replys try have helped a lot! It's such a shame that the drug can effect everyone am not just the person takeing it! Iv been thinking long and hard and it's not an easy decision but Iv ended the relationship I'm not wanting to go down that road as it will only get worse! I feel so bad that Iv ended it when he probably needs me most but when I told him my choice and the reason why he didn't try an stop me and said he can understand my choice! I'll alway be there for him but that's all I no deep in my heart he is addicted to it
Posted: December 13, 2016, 9:31 AM

Posts: 384
Joined: October 25, 2016

I think you made the right decision. Distance is the better option for you and staying to help him will only bring you heartache in the end. It doesn't even sound like he wants 'help'. You would end up going down that bad road with him and will always worry that he is still using or his use is getting worse even if he says he quit. You will never be able to trust him and I have learned through experience that you can’t change boyfriends or husbands…and apparently not adult addict children either! He has to make the changes himself and it appears that he doesn’t want to change. Using while in prison and continuing to use after he gets out doesn’t sound like he is even trying to change his ways. The fact that he was in prison is the first thing that should make you wonder about him. The drug use is more than enough for you to call it quits … and he admitted it to you so sounds like he is saying take it or leave it … so leave it because it will only bring you grief.

This post has been edited by BugginMe on December 13, 2016, 9:31 AM

Posted: December 13, 2016, 1:26 PM

Posts: 3
Joined: December 11, 2016

Thank you so much the replys have helped me so much! Xx
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