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|Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > Most Common Source/supply-a Person Or Location?|
|Posted by: samegame July 23, 2019, 11:44 AM|
|What do you find the most common source of the alkie's or addict's supply and facilitation. Is it a location, person or group? Is it a bar, gym, club etc or do they go where ever. It seems they always can sniff out their favorite poop no matter the circumstances.
Here he is facilitated and enabled at certain bars because of tipping(so he says). But the food/bar industry is notorious for drugs and dealing. But who supplies them? He also seems to get some party and other drugs from the gym and clubs like a country, golf, swim club etc.
But do you think it is a person or location where their supply, facilitation or enabling come from?
|Posted by: SoberInMI July 23, 2019, 5:49 PM|
The question is immaterial because you can't control another's addiction. An addict or alcoholic will find what they need and adapt as necessary.
You may want to avail yourself of 12-step groups like Al-Anon and Nar-Anon, etc.
|Posted by: Sallyanna July 23, 2019, 7:38 PM|
|Samegame I think they will take it wherever they can get it. They are very resourceful, opportunist, and master manipulators. Any person, place or thing is an opportunity for a person with an addiction. He seems very resourceful in his addiction probably because he's been doing it so long and it works for him.|
|Posted by: Momtomethhead July 23, 2019, 9:13 PM|
|Never really thought about where or whom my son was getting his drugs from. They are resourceful, where there is a will, there is a way. Son is homeless right now. In our area majority of homeless are drug addicts. This is his choice, and at 40 I have no control where or how he gets his high.|
|Posted by: SoberInMI July 23, 2019, 9:38 PM|
|Finding a way to stay supplied is literally a matter of survival, I am glad I no longer go through that, by the grace of God!|
|Posted by: Parenting2 July 25, 2019, 12:58 AM|
|SoberinMI, I am glad you are out of that insanity, also.
I agree that it is impossible to know. When my son was under 18 and fresh into drugs, I obsessed on finding out where he was getting it. It really is impossible. I drove myself crazy and never found out anything. I have not thought about it in almost a year and half. Jumped off that merry-go-round pretty quick.!
|Posted by: sad eyes July 25, 2019, 8:11 AM|
|Yes I have often wondered where my son gets it from, use to be a mess when he would go out, even if he said he was just going down the street, I use to want to follow him, did a few times, then I thought what's the point, I can't police him 25 /7, also if they want it they will find it, I think where I live it wasent really about, Dohh stupid me, apparently it's rife, my son says you can go down street and get it anywhere, police catch dealers there's always someone else to get it from|
|Posted by: Parenting2 July 25, 2019, 8:15 AM|
|Yes, that brings back a lot of bad memories. It seems like my son went from this hyper, laughing little kid to moody, sneaking around, lying overnight. I am sure it was not, but it literally felt that way to me.
I went out and followed him, googled his new FB friends (found lots of drug crimes), showed up at these people's houses, talked with the parents (who were involved, anyways)---tried to stop the freight train.
That was about when I found this board. And, let me tell you, I am GRATEFUL to all of you. I still remember the first post I made here. I was SO desperate and desolate. You all helped me so much! I would mention names, but fear I would forget someone. It meant the world to me that night and still does. That night, I had no idea how bad things would get. THANK YOU!
|Posted by: Alexandra’s Mom July 28, 2019, 8:22 AM|
|For my daughter it was her boyfriend. He had a huge network of “friends”. She somehow still has her drivers license (he never had a license) so he bought her a car with cash so she could still get high while he was in jail. He would tell her who to text and if she drove to the city they would pay her in drugs. He wasn’t honest (shocking I know) that he had a arrest record that went back to when he was 17 for dealing.|
|Posted by: samegame August 13, 2019, 1:14 AM|
|When I asked the question it wasn't about eventually trying to be able to control the source BUT outing a particular bar, club or business for tolerating drug dealing(crime) on their premises would be a worthy shot. Or over serving drunks. Or even stealing from their owners since a well tipped waiter or bartender that serves drinks for free for tip is basically stealing from the business/owner along with enabling/supplying drunks
Yes many an addict or alcoholic are resourceful but in some respects they are like a stray animal that gets fed. They'll keep coming back for more.
|Posted by: Sallyanna August 13, 2019, 4:17 AM|
|Yes, it's about them finding their supply (doc). Some places and people will accommodate, motivated for various reasons, and enable. They will find these places and people and their active addiction continues. If enabling stops, 'the well runs dry'...and consequences start to occur.|
|Posted by: samegame August 13, 2019, 10:31 AM|
|Apologies if I posted this before but there is a bar near a professional football team that accounts for a high percentage of drunk driving arrests on survey of where the drunk drivers got their last drink.
There are bars and bartender/waiters that are responsible for the last drink all over the country. Even the police tend to know where the local problem bars are. They are probably told to back off because they're either paid off or told bars/businesses produce tax revenue. Well tax revenue isn't going to any of the victims of a drunk driver from a problem bar any good.
This also serves as reminder being football season is starting. Keep this statistic in mind as well.
Party hardy is actually promoted by corporate dominated sports. They might have bs public service announcements such as 'drink responsibly' but do little about tailgating or no helping when they serve 20oz beers which is the equivalent of 3.
|Posted by: NyToFlorida August 13, 2019, 10:42 PM|
|The business that enables addiction that makes me mad is PAWN SHOPS. As in “thank you pawn shop for taking my sons laptop.” They steal from stores and anyone they can and go straight to the pawn shop. If the shops didn’t take the stuff, there would be less stealing.|
|Posted by: samegame August 14, 2019, 11:13 AM|
|Pawn shops definitely help enable addicts and alkies. But especially after the TV show Pawn Stars they have more credibility now. An honest pawn shop will get ID record ss numbers etc. At least it was his laptop.
But the primary responsibility still lies with the user then the source. The source in particular because they are either criminal drug dealing or act negligently/ignorantly by over serving. But in the end it's the alkie or addict that is still making the decisions.
|Posted by: Sallyanna August 14, 2019, 9:55 PM|
|Interesting topic and responses. I agree with samegame. It is ultimately the person with the addiction responsibilty. They have to have ownership of the consequences of their choices. It's how life works. It's how we develop, learn, and grow. If I get a speeding ticket, they don't give it to my 93 year old mother. I get it and I have to pay it. I learn to slow down so it doesn't happen again. If my 93 year old mother pays it (which she never would even if I had only a dime to my name) I'd likely keep speeding knowing my mom's going to keep paying my tickets. I know this is an exaggerated example.|
|Posted by: Parenting2 August 14, 2019, 10:19 PM|
|It is a great example, Sallyanna.
We don't have pawn shops close to us, but my son has a bevy of friends who will take items for nothing! He recently sold a gaming system (again) for almost nothing, because that makes more sense than working to him.
I am really struggling tonight. My Dad passed away ten years ago tomorrow. Ugh....He and my son were so close. Thank goodness my Dad never experienced this with my son-it would have been too much for him. I am thankful for that. Trying to stay in the moment!! Breathe....