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Message Board > Other Addictions > Internet Porn: Crack For Sexual Addicts


Posted by: father February 2, 2007, 5:08 PM
Im hoping to start an intelligent discussion regarding this subject!!!!
Please Reply if you are willing to discuss this subject in a responsible adult manner! Thanks

Posted by: father February 2, 2007, 5:37 PM
Just in case you are wondering; I choose the screen name "father" because of the love I have for my kids, not because i am affiliated with any religious sect. I specifically choose this site because it primarily is not a "Religious or Christian" site. It seems to be very un-biased and open.

Posted by: zerogirl77 February 15, 2007, 8:38 PM
Hey Father, I wanted to reply with """""""YES"""" in deed internet porn is like crack for sexual addicts. Anything used to the extreame is a problem. When something controls your whole life and you don't have a handle on it.... it's a addiction. Honestely thou, i'm not anti porn. I see porn as having a place in a healthy relationship...... as long as it dose not become all consuming. When it become the focas of your life you should seek ways find help. I'm no expert i'm just a recovering heroin addict.

Posted by: Christine April 13, 2008, 8:38 AM

Dear Father,

I am a partner of a person getting help for porn- addiction. There are many places to get help. Sex addiction is a very real problem in our society. Pornography is not part of God's plan for his creation. It is a trap and will start to rob you of your life one day at a time. Admit to the problem and run the other direction as fast as you can. Find help and start living again!



Posted by: Guest April 22, 2008, 10:30 PM
Is there a reason you chose an avatar making that specific kind of hand gesture?

Posted by: BeStrong October 13, 2008, 11:42 AM
My heart breaks as I sit here at the computer. I ran accross this web post because I was searching for help for my husband. He is addicted to porn and has been from grade 1. Now 34 years old and married for the second time he wants out. But do you know what it is like knowing I can not go anywhere for the night not even to my parents without a porn movie playing in my house, or a magazine been read, or whatever his drug off sexual choice happens to be at that time. As I sit here tears stream down my face because many of us on the other side of this addiction remain faceless and unheard! As a mother of a five year old I understand that those small and to most unharmful magazines at the checkout stand is where the images begin. I also know that it escalates sometimes to the point of child porn and enslavery. As a teacher of teen girls I can not believe the difference in the teens who have parents who care and are home with there children and those who are not. My husband says I am strong for staying and strong for not putting up with it and seeking out options of help for us both because as it effects him so to now it effects me and then our son. I cry out for the pain to stop and for once in our married life to feel like I am not being stabbed in the back but you know no one hears it, no one sees it and no one knows because I have to be strong for my son. Living waters is a program for such issues and we are in our second year around. I suggest looking it up on the net it is a wonderful program. MAny have found healing through the help of this program. I am praying we do to....

Posted by: CottonCandy0069 November 9, 2008, 7:36 PM
FATHER
I HAVE TO AGREE WITH BESTRONG . I MYSELF THINKS PRON IS DISCUSTING, FILTY, DEGRADING TO US WOMEN, AND THINK IT SHOULD BE AGAINST THE LAW TO BE SOLD TO THE PUBLIC.
NOW BESTRONG DIDNT SAY THAT WAS WHAT SHE THINKS BUT I GET THE IMPRESSION SHE FEELS THE SAME ARE SHE WOULDNT BE SEATING THERE WITH TEARS RUNNING DOWN HER FACE LIKE I HAVE SO MANY DAYS.
I HAVE WOKE UP TO MY HUSBAND WATCHING A FLICK AND DOIND WHAT HE WAS DOING AND IT JUST DISCUSTED ME SO BAD AND MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WASNT WOMAN ENOUGHT FOR HIM THAT IS WHY HE FELT LIKE HE HAD TO WATCH THAT FILT

Posted by: sunnyday November 13, 2008, 9:02 AM
I've been on a mission to cleanse myself of addictions for around 5 years now. This seems to be the hardest of them all. Just like father says it is like crack; it's cheap, dirty, doesn't have to be high quality, and is readily available. It is also taking over my life.

I am atheist and have no interest whatsoever in discussing my physical addictions within a religious context.

I'm 34 and have been addicted to sex/pornography since I can remember. I know it's not "normal" and constantly feel guilty for the craving for sexual satisfaction. The problem is no matter how much I vow not to view this stuff again after a day or so I get the overwhelming urge to view and masturbate to porn.

I guess I am a person with an addictive personality, I have had issues with alcohol, cannabis, nicotine, ecstasy but somehow have managed to recover from these addictions but not with pornography.

I have absolutely no idea where to turn for help or what to do to control my addiction. I am happily married and have my first child on the way.

I know that porn is degrading to both men and women and people who seek porn are a target of great anger. The trouble is I am so drawn to it none of these arguments stand a chance against the power of the craving.

One of the major issues a porn addict faces is that their addiction brings out such hostility and ridicule in people it is extremely hard to open up about your addiction thus making it super hard to get over the first hurdle of fighting an addiction - that is accepting you have the addiction in the first place and talking to people about ways to find help.

Posted by: try2bclean December 7, 2008, 9:04 PM
I have been an addict for many years. I have tried everything, the addiction is crack to the human body.
1) Porn is so readily available, and mostly for no cost.
2) The bodily urges has nothing to do with your spouse or lady, you simply need a fix. As a result your urges to your lady are destroyed in time.
3) The two part fix: is the fuel (porn) which is poured into your eyes, and a burning heart for lust that explodes with a high (acting out).
4) Desensitization is very real (brain washing). Washing with filth simply means you get dirtier in time to achieve a better high.
Ladies you have almost no way of knowing who is an addict. I'm a nice guy that has lived a double life for many years. As a result I am shallow, anger easily once you know me, and plagued with inconfidence. In my opinion the only hope is to, A) lock me up for six months, or B) send me to a poor country that outlaws porn. I think B), and a very over protective wife who loves me, and makes me live with her family of ten. (so I can never be alone).

Posted by: try2bclean December 7, 2008, 9:13 PM
I think any man who is willingly dragging his lady through the mud, is not a man. I have shame in what I do, and I am not proud of it. I would never watch it in front of my girlfriend. I never have openly hurt anyone with it in the last ten years. About 15 years ago I was a jerk of a man, and the best thing a lady can do with a man like I was, is to find another man, then leave. Understand it is an addiction, and why would you compromise your life to an addict. Be strong for there are better men out there. In time the man may bounce back, but don't hold your breath. Keep in mind your enemy is the porn!

Posted by: amanda Bentine March 26, 2009, 6:24 PM
Hi I am Amanda and I'm christan but I have this problem with internet porn. Can you help me?

Posted by: RJ November 26, 2010, 11:34 AM
I am also recovering from porn addiction myself. I'm 21 years old and have been viewing porn since I was about 12. I have had 2 re-lapses now. The second lapse, recently, I only looked at pictures of naked women on the beach, but managed to masturbate three times and felt awful afterward.

I would like to share with you how I managed to break free for the most part the addiction to hardcore pornography, although I still seem to be somewhat dependent on looking at least at naked girls for arousal and ejaculation. I still have some work to do but I'm close.

First you must realize your pattern of the self-destructive behavior. If there is a certain time you find yourself getting the urge or watch porn, do something else. leave the house and go have coffee at a cafe or something, or go to the gym and run off the urge it works great. Anything to distract you. Also, an internet filter like net nanny is good. If you get the urge to watch porn, it is one more step that puts you away from porn. Also, the first week is the hardest, once you get past the first week, it is much easier to curb the addiction. withdrawl really lasts fro about 2-3 weeks in total i think but the first week is hell. Just remind yourself that your will is strong and if you really want to break free you can.

Since not masturbating so often and watching porn, I have felt a great sense of pride, more confidence, greater self-esteem, more positive energy to focus on things i'm interested in, a clearer mind, and i feel stronger at the gym. I also feel like i'm living more in reality now and connected more with people. I hope this helps everyone having this problem

Best wishes

Posted by: Mike137 January 10, 2012, 9:49 AM
My sexual life began when I was a small child probably about 5 or 6. I would fantasize about underwear and I was fascinated with the naked body. I didn't know why, but I thought it was cool. I thought it was cool until I first got engaged and I told my fiancee that I would still look at porn when we got married. She balled her eyes out and I wanted to change, but I just didn't see any hope in it. I felt like a complete dirt bag, and I hated who I was - so I broke it off with her. I was scared she was going to go into a comma like she did when the last guy broke it off with her, but I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stand the risk of cheating on her - even if it was my eyes. I still considered myself a virgin at that point when I was 18, but I had committed the entire act over and over again just alone by myself.

I finally tried to help at 19. I had fantasies of women dancing before me for an entire year, and I would wake up catching myself in the very act of perversion. I hated what I had become. I shed so many tears and figured that I was destined to live life alone. I tried to help other people, but I found myself always criticizing others. I wanted to help them, but I could be such a jerk. I know I kind of deserve this, but no one really celebrates my birthday, and they never have. I grew up with a lot of siblings and a family that was around, but it seemed like no one cared. I even had a few years when I began to cut myself. I expected to be dead by 21 and I wrote poems daily about my own dramatic death.

I was nearing a year from my recovery, and I thought it was going to drop out entirely from the support program. I had never committed to anything more than a year in my life, and what could make me be ready at this point, which was the hardest time of my life. I hated my life, and I hated what I had become. I believed in God, but sometimes I wished God would kill me. I even still wanted to go to hell so that I could be punished. A few things happened. 1) I remembered that I decided to get my life in order, because I wanted to pay back for something really bad that I did when I was 12. 2) Someone came up to me and gave me a word of encouragement by telling me I needed to stay ready in season and out of season.

After that first year I had a great boost of confidence, and I continued strong in the program. Things got good for a long time, and actually a couple of years. Then I got moved to a crazy work schedule and I couldn't be around my support group. I was reading books a lot and trying to stay positive... but then I was doing homework and an advertisement popped up for a dating site. I was feeling sorry for myself and I wanted to be around my friends that cared for me. I was full of self pity and so I did it again. I immersed myself in viewing photos. I didn't want to see naked pictures. I was disgusted by those, but I felt lonely and I liked seeing a pretty face. One thing turned to another and I was back into pornography again - addicted. I sought help after a while - multiple times, but it took me a couple years to get out of that rut.

I met someone and we ended up getting married. I was clean for a few years and I hoped that it would stop. The pressures of marriage and finances put me right back in the hole. I can kind of see the pattern now as I am almost 30 now! I've come clean with my wife and asked her to help, but she gets frustrated. I've come to realize that I can't use her as an excuse as to why I cannot quit. I know that the addiction has something to do with toxins in my head and that was intensified with decisions, but in the same sense I believe I was born with this addiction to some degree. It is so bad I have my computer locked down so that I can't use the Internet - even if I wanted to.

I feel a constant pull toward the Internet. Things are so easy to find, and yet I cannot find anything good. If I am alone with the Internet then the problem emerges. I somewhat see a pattern: I don't consider any consequences, I am not grateful for my wife's companionship, I usually feel sorry for myself during the pull, and I don't think anything until the event is over. There was even a moment I performed a vile act at my job when no one was around. I want to take care of my wife, but I can't take care of myself!

I think this addiction for me at least is tied to an inner hatred. I am trying to love myself, but it is so hard. I know that God loves me, and that gives me hope, because I don't see how anyone can love me but Him, especially if they know what I've done. I think I am pathetic, but I also know I am not alone, and many others need help. Perhaps you are reading this right now. I am not going to give up even if I mess up my life over and over. I just read justjane's story. When I read the first post I thought she must have had holes in her head when she read that. By the end of the post I was nearly crying at how much had changed in 7 years. I made the decision to get help around the same time she did.

No Internet filter can keep me from finding dirty sites. As I get deeper into it, I find myself developing a number of issues. I can't concentrate anymore. I have anxiety and have a hard time sleeping. Even though I can stay away from the poision for months at a time - it finds a way to creep back in. I want to have kids, but I don't think I have much to offer them now. I want my marriage to stay together, but each time I mess up I don't see how I can be helped. I always find a way around the boundaries that are put in place. I don't make a lot of money and so I can't afford expensive therapy, and I can't afford to be from work for long periods.

There is so much to live for, but I just have a hard time living it. I was hoping by sharing my story it would help someone a little, but I know my story hasn't ended like a fairytale. I am glad I don't cut myself anymore. I am glad I can tell my parents I love them. I am glad that I have friends that do care about me. Everyone is lifting me up. Why can't I lift myself up or help others up? I just hope that things will get better. I am told they will as the years pass by, but I am getting anxious. I feel like I robbed myself of a childhood from getting myself into sexual activity - even though I didn't perform the "traditional act" with someone until I got married.

I've also learned that I don't respect women that much, and this has probably contributed to the deepening of this disorder. I was glad I read justjane's post. I think it helped me tonight - even though I did mess up tonight. Its the first time in several months. Sometimes I wonder if getting castrated will fix this, but then I remember the issue is in my brain. I need to learn how to live. I can't let things stress me out to the point that I start reverting back to my old behaviors. I thought the Internet was the problem, but when I was away for a long time I got tempted to go peeking through people's windows at night... I know I am crazy, and so if you say that I would agree with you, but I want help. It just isn't easy, and it has been so long.

I'm sorry if this post is too sad for most of you, but I am just saying it how it is. I don't like the fact that I can't do the things I want like spend time with my wife and get more involved in my hobbies.

So the answer to the question - is sex like crack? Yes. I've never done crack. I smoked some pot once and drank a few times in my life, but I never got into that stuff. Sex has been my crack since before you could swing a wiffle bat at a tee ball. I think pornography should be illegal, and I think they should regulate the Internet. The people that made the Internet are all a bunch of tree hugging fanatics anyways, who support anarchy and things like that. Don't take my word for it - do the research. One of my downfalls is I am "really good at research." I've excelled among my peers... but I always have that urge in the back of my mind that is just waiting to emerge, and when it does I hope I have others around, or I hope the Internet is locked up and it is snowing outside.

Pray for me. I hope I'll make it, and I know if you pray I will.


Mike137

Posted by: Sammantha Elizabeth May 19, 2012, 6:15 PM
Can someone please help me? I am a fourteen year old girl that stumbled across this porn a month ago while doing research for a science project and cannot stop since
(the project was on bridges)

Posted by: cowgirl May 23, 2012, 1:16 PM
Like with any addiction? You have to take away what the body and mind wants. Then you have to get to the bottom of why you are self medicating in the first place. Because like any other drug, porn is a drug too. People watch it to numb out. To not have to feel. Or feel something other than hurt. Why are you hurting? What is it that you are running from?

Pull the plug. Cancel your internet. Find a good counselor and start at the beginning.

I wish you all luck on your journey. But the answer is simple and right there in front of you. You can't do this by yourself. Loose the shame and get help.

Posted by: gavin May 28, 2012, 4:42 PM
I am sorry that i cannot agree with some of the stuff written on this subject. There is nothing wrong with sexual desire, it is a natural state. And if you choose to look at porn that is up to you,both my girlfriend {who is a doctor] and I and most of the general population like looking at naked people we find that to be quite normal. The shame of lust and desire is something that has been pushed by the church for 100`s of years and has caused more mental harm than the Porn of today. If you find yourselves masturbating to excess dont blame the porn, look inside yourself for the problem.

Posted by: katesong June 4, 2012, 8:05 AM
Sorry Gavin but that was a trollish response. What kind of support are you offering?

Your comments have nothing to do with offering support for someone who dealing with the negative effects of an obsession with porn.




Posted by: pjn1234 July 3, 2012, 4:36 PM
I had an internet porn addiction where I could not stop and was viewing for 40-60 hours a week. I had to deal with my Sex Addiction! I am free of all sex addiction issues for over 3 years - I had tried a number of therapies, programs, S-12 step groups and found that Sexaholics Anonymous was the only thing that worked for me. I also had to get to SANON – the sister fellowship to deal with my sexual abuse issues.
www.Sa.org
www.Sanon.org

Posted by: heartagram_darling July 30, 2012, 12:17 PM
hello. a friend sent me the address of this website. she knows my husband and i have been struggling with a problem for our entire marriage (going on 3 years now). he is addicted to porn. he claims he isnt, but he is. not a day goes by that he is looking at porn, searching for porn, saving it to the computer and to his phone, getting his friends to send him pictures, etc. Even though we fought about it, become seperated over this, he cant give it up. he claims it is art and there is no shame in it- but he takes it too far. when you rather look at porn than have an intimate relationship with your wife- it is too far. he even took my phone one night after i fell asleep. he pretended to be me and asked some of my friends for dirty pictures. he then forwarded them to his phone and erased all texts sent back and forth. he lies to me constantly about it. too many times in my opinion. but he wont stop. he refuses. and this worries me because he is a registered sex offender. i keep telling him that it does not look good to the cops or anyone if they find out about it. we have talked about it- he refuses to give it up. we bartered- if i let him take dirty pix of me then he wont look- and that didnt work. we compromised- he can look, just dont save any of the pictures- and he kept on saving. i put my foot down- me or the porn- and it caused such a big fight that i could tell it was costing us our marriage. i asked him to stop lying to me about it- he still lies, even when he is caught red handed. he even lied to me about an 18 year old girl texting him dirty pictures of herself- he met her through facebook. i begged him to delete the account. and he did. but lo and behold he created another account. i am at my wit's end. i have begged him to get help, but he wont go to any appointments i make. is there anything i can do? i cant handle much more of the lies and half truths. please PM me at heartagram_darling@yahoo.com

Posted by: freefromporn1 February 28, 2015, 8:28 PM
I am 19 years old and have struggled with pornography addiction for over 6 years! I am fighting the battle and have been free from porn for 61 days. On my blog i share some helpful tips, check it out at https://freefromporn1.wordpress.com/

Posted by: pg April 14, 2015, 7:19 PM
I read the post of the young lady and followed the link. Thank you for your information and advise.


I do not have an addiction, but a habit that I detest. let's see how it goes as I educate myself some more.

Warm regards