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Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > Saving Money


Posted by: Walkedon October 3, 2019, 2:43 PM
As parents we have spent tens of thousands of dollars on our adult addicted children.
We always want to help, one last time,one last car,onelast rent payment.
I have slowly managed to stop most of the money bleeding. My AD knows I will not pay anymore.
I suggest everytime we feel the urge to help, to pay for one more .......Take that money and put it in to a savings account. If we can't do that we might as well light it on fire. The result is same as giving it to our addicts who won't do for themselves.

Posted by: samegame October 3, 2019, 4:12 PM
Excellent idea Walk. There has to be a cut off point. Enough is enough especially if the person already had second and third chances. Ask them that-when are these money 'requests' and games if they lie and manipulate for it going to end. Put them on the spot.

For most it will have to be a combination of consequences. Not just one like financial consequence. In other words they must experience misery, not gratification. That's much of their problem anyway, unable or unwilling to learn how to endure or cope with a negative situation. Many say learn by doing.

But yes enough is enough already.

Posted by: Sallyanna October 4, 2019, 2:01 AM
Yes I agree. It's a futile attempt...