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Posted: April 23, 2017, 10:43 PM
I am pretty sure that I am like millions of others out there, most likely like many of you on here. I go month to month draining pill bottles the size of drinking cups, spend a week between refills without anything, order early and start all over again. It's nothing new, it's nothing out of the ordinary, it's pretty common, I am a doctor junky, plain and simple.
MAN IT SUCKS! I want to quit SO effing bad! I want to be done with it SO effing bad! Every month I say I am done but I refill and go at it again. Yes, I have injured myself, yes I am in pain quite often, yes I have had multiple surgeries, and yes I have been clean then fell in the hole again. I need the pills don't I? I mean it's to the point now where I can take aspirin and be like well I swallowed a pill and in my mind I please that point of simply being addicted to swallowing the pill. Imagine how horrible it would be to go out in public and do things without first taking 2 maybe 3 who knows 4? I mean seriously don't you plan your events by knowing that you will have a handful of pills to swallow? I do! I want to quit. I know I should, but I don't need to as in the same way as I need the pills to not feel sick, tired, crabby, depressed, miserable........... you get it, don't you? You know what, I need to quit, not tomorrow, but maybe the day after, right? By the way for me its Norco, Percocet and Xanax.... I am begging for help to quit, can't you see that? I mean I am here on a message board doing what we do now, talk but not act, type but not do. How many of you have told your family, I am addicted I want to quit and yet no one has offered to help? I have. No big deal though, they're right, I am a big boy, why should they have to help me deal with my problems? Wouldn't it be nice to have help? Who knows maybe this post will bring that help I need.. -dueces This post has been edited by faceless_man on April 23, 2017, 10:45 PM | ||
Posts: 6300
Joined: May 27, 2005
Posted: April 24, 2017, 8:06 AM
It's not an easy thing to actually quit the pills no matter what we tell ourselves when we have them in our bodies. Countless times I told myself I was going to quit and countless times I put it off "till tomorrow". I was like you with the regular withdrawals after running out of scripts only to seek that relief from the next refill telling myself next time... Finally I got sick of it and didn't seek out that next refill and believe me it was hard. Very very hard. But I did it. You can too. Tell your doctor what is going on. Go to detox. Or just don't get that refill. Myself, I quit cold turkey because I was so used to withdrawal symptoms I figured it couldn't be much worse but this is dangerous with the xanax. I don't advise it. I took my last pill, got my butt to an AA meeting and never picked up again. It is not easy the first few months but it gets better. I am now 16 years off vicodin and xanax and fioricet and haven't wanted a pill in a very long time. I think the pain of withdrawal kept me from picking up in the first year. I NEVER want to feel that way again. The choice is yours. No one can get clean for you. Good luck to you.
-------------------- १२ सà¥à¤¤à¥ˆà¤ªà¥à¤ªà¥ˆà¤°! kat11100@comcast.net If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain Just because the monkey's off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town Laugh because it shows people that you have what they want and what they need: a hope in things unseen, a peace that passes understanding, and a God of miracles who also has a great sense of humor. | ||
Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: April 24, 2017, 2:46 PM
http://americanaddictioncenters.org/ click on Detox and Addiction headings - give a lot of info on the meds, half life, detox, etc.
Someone I knew was taking prescriptions for Kalonlpin and another med. Adult about 60 yrs old. also had a few drinks per day along w them. also managed a successful busness... He mixed them up a little too much, wife gave him altimatum. with his doctors help, got off the meds with a very slow wean. about 6 months. I bet you could cut your consumption by 25% in First month. either on your own or w dr advice, start tapering. keep a chart. add in alternatives to combat pain. nothing works all the time, 100% -- keep tweaking the taper. Good Luck - Write a diary on the board to hold yourself accountable or go to AA or SMART.com recovery or something to keep yourself on track. Community out patient resources. lots of resource and program suggestions at the headings at the top of this website. This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on April 24, 2017, 6:47 PM | ||
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Posted: April 25, 2017, 10:14 AM
Faceless_Man, you are telling my story in so many ways. I am going through many of the same symptoms and feelings that you are right now. Ive been taking Oxycodone and Tramadol for many years because of spinal stenosis , many bad discs and arthritis . The oxy got to be my favorite and I can't even tell you how many I was taking per day. Like you, I was always running out a week early before refill time, Never really worried about it much because for the most part the tramadol got me through and bad WD symptoms ( except for sweating ). That is until this time around,,,, I was on day 4 of waiting for the refill when I found that I had a terrible time sleeping that night, only got 2 hrs total,,,,the next night I got no sleep at all !! That next morning as I was attempting to drink some coffee I went into what can only be described as a full blown manic meltdown...felt like I had snakes crawling all over my brain, and I just wanted to jump up and run trough the wall !! My wife was still asleep so I woke her and told her that something was very wrong....I started into sweating shaking and weeping ( I never act like this ) , She said that she wanted me to see a Dr, I didn't argue...My regular Doc was out of state on a family issue, but I was able to get in to see the doc that was covering in a couple of hrs.. She confirmed that I was having a panic attack and like a fool I neglected to tell her that I had not taken the oxy for a few days...she suggested a manic episode from not sleeping and that sounded fine to me...she prescribed ambien for sleep. and offered benzos, which I refused, never did like those things.. she ordered some blood tests as well... made it through the rest of the day having bouts of anxiety , sweating, weeping , and no appetite at all...Drs office called that afternoon and said that my tests were good but that my white blood cell count was slightly elevated and that my body was certainly fighting something.. ( no kidding )..ordered followup blood work for the following Monday...Struggled through Saturday with the same symptoms, and Sunday morning had another huge manic blow out. Wife took me to urgent care this time... I was very honest about everything this time around, about stopping the oxy cold turkey thinking the tramadol would make it ok to do so...told her that I did not want any more oxy , I meant it and I still do. She sent me home with alprazolam ( gave in this time ) and it helped greatly...been more or less stable for the last couple of days, sweating has pretty much gone away. Remaining symptom is that I still have no appetite..Still waiting of the follow up blood tests....I believe that the long term use of narcotics has taken a turn on my body and brain, and I just dont want it any more....I want to get off the Tramadol as well for two reasons. # 1 is that I want to know if I really do need them to handle my pain . # 2 I know that tramadol can be just as bad at taking a toll on people... Thank You All, and I will be back often. I know that it's much better if people can take on this fight together ...
God Bless !! | ||
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Posted: April 25, 2017, 11:05 AM
Im So Sorry Faceless_Man....I got to rambling about my own issues so much to offer you my Very Best Wishes....Lets get through all of this garbage together !!
Bless You My Friend.....Got you in Prayer !! | ||
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Posts: 6300
Joined: May 27, 2005
Posted: April 25, 2017, 5:19 PM
Watch out for the xanax. They are very addictive and make opiate withdrawal look like a slight cold. Use them sparingly and stop as soon as you can.
-------------------- १२ सà¥à¤¤à¥ˆà¤ªà¥à¤ªà¥ˆà¤°! kat11100@comcast.net If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain Just because the monkey's off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town Laugh because it shows people that you have what they want and what they need: a hope in things unseen, a peace that passes understanding, and a God of miracles who also has a great sense of humor. | ||
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Posted: April 25, 2017, 8:01 PM
Believe me I don't want to give myself a benzo habit on top of everything else...Thank God I never really liked them in the first place. I used them the day that I went to the urgent care, none since....haven't needed the ambien either. Appetite is finally starting to come back having fond thoughts about meatloaf !! Had a pretty good day overall....cautiously optimistic !!
Thank You 12 Stepper... | ||
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Posted: April 27, 2017, 12:10 PM
I haven't taken anything since making this post.
hoping to wrap up these withdraws soon.......... Found a local AA that has a meeting today, hoping to feel good enough to go | ||
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Posted: April 27, 2017, 12:41 PM
Hang in there my friend. Im at day 12, symptoms have pretty much gone, haven't used any of the xanax, and my full appetite has returned ( ate like a pig last night ) LOL !! Glad that you're going to check out AA, I have many friends in recovery and Ive been bending their ear all week....feels good to be back to my daily tasks without the oxy,,,,,
All The Best to You & God Bless !! Lets Get Through This Garbage Together... | ||
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