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|Message Board > Alcohol > Self-pity And Maudlin Guilt|
|Posted by: skg January 14, 2013, 10:46 AM|
|A friend and I were talking this weekend about self-pity, and the ruinous effect it can have on a healthy program of recovery. There’s a woman in the meeting that I go to on weekends who’s a chronic relapser and, as I listened to her whining and complaining about her predicament of HAVING to take pain medication and HAVING to relapse and HAVING to disappoint people, including her sponsor, it dawned on me that self-centered self-pity, like all well-disguised traps, is designed to keep us from trusting God. It’s telling God that He’s obviously made a mistake as I am supposed to be someone else—a perverse reverse pride of over-analysis and selfishness.
We went to lunch together and happened upon yet another female member who was preparing to have a few drinks before meeting with her sponsor because she, “Was afraid of what her sponsor would say.” Sort of self-fulfilling prophecy, that one. I won’t go into the details, but it certainly was not an accident that God put us in that particular restaurant. All-in-all a wonderful weekend of lessons of self-pity and Trusting in Him to manage my worries. Yes, I AM weak; Yes, I AM frightened; Yes, I AM insecure. It is only through Him that I find strength today—and I’m selfish enough to want more of that. Rather than wallowing in self-pity, I can recognize the frailties for what they are and give them to Him, thereby increasing my dependence upon My Creator (and taking the responsibility from my mind).
“ When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God’s handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God.” Alcoholics Anonymous, pp 417, 4th Ed.
|Posted by: Giyana January 14, 2013, 2:10 PM|
|SKG, leaving god out of this, I think we have "choice". I pray every night, and hope to be "saved" but I really think it is my choice: good or bad. If there is a G_d then I believe IT will help the best choice ... still my choice...|
|Posted by: Yogi January 14, 2013, 2:41 PM|
|Good old page 417! My favorite!|
|Posted by: skg January 14, 2013, 3:12 PM|
Contempt prior to investigation was MY problem, not everyone else's . I thank God for the willingness, openmindedness, and honesty that the steps enabled me to develop.
Keep trying anything, Giyanna, and I can make a few suggestions if you don't feel you've exhausted yourself yet. This really is the easier, softer way.
|Posted by: Papa Bear January 14, 2013, 7:48 PM|
|I had to come to the AA meetings in the beginning to hear what the good oldtimers were saying.
Then I had to come to the meetings until what they said made sense.
Thank you for shining that light of truth on some of our ever-so-easy-to-deny defects and shortcomings
All the best.
|Posted by: pirate January 14, 2013, 8:48 PM|
|MY choices almost killed me.|
|Posted by: 24Gordon January 15, 2013, 1:33 PM|
Fear dominated my life and I sure couldn't let anyone see that in me so I turned to alcohol & then pills to give me that false sense of courage & help me in my struggles of trying to understand. When I accepted the fact that I didn't know anything, that my ways kept getting me deeper & deeper into alcoholism, then came that moment of clarity, that I can't do "this" anymore and I finally surrendered to everything I "thought" I knew and I asked a gal on here for help and with that, my very closed mind cracked enough for her to carry the message and for ME to receive it. God either is or isn't, and what I've found by working the 12 steps is he is very patient, waiting for me to reach out to ask for the help & then accept his messengers that he puts into my path. It isn't a coincidence that we all stumbled upon this website and a lot of us embraced recovery.
To me, it's divine intervention and God doing for me what I could NEVER do for myself. One of my favorite definitions of God is Group Of Drunks. That God that sits in an AA meeting always amazes & astounds me.
My self-pity is Ego. Ego & pride is one of the biggest blocks to the sunlight of the Spirit. They will block my connection & then tell me all kinds of negative things and convince me that taking a drink will make it feel better. I pray for God to take my ego, and slowly, day by day, some of it leaves and sometimes I am humbled and let more of it go.
Thanks for the thread, SKG. I love your shares.
|Posted by: Guest May 27, 2021, 7:41 AM|
|Brilliant insight. And since God is everything or nothing, I love that He was mentioned. So many times self-sufficiency is tied even to my own share I forget God is in charge! God is everything.... the universal power source that allows me to take a breath and to walk through any given moment of any given day and be happy joyous and free.