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Message Board > Synthetic Marijuana > My Husand's Fake Weed Addiction Is Out Of Control


Posted by: sherryjustine September 29, 2012, 10:28 PM
Hi, I just found this site this evening and I am really hoping to get some moral support and good advice. My husband was always a weed smoker. He didn't do it constantly so I didn't have any major issues with it. I have smoked weed multiple times throughout my life but it is/was a rarity. My husband as so many others crossed over to smoking the fake stuff they sell in the convenience stores now and smoke shops in my area. Over the course of the last year or better I have watched my husband become a total stranger. The entire time he is blaming me for our marriage problems. I do not feel that I am completely innocent in our marriage. I am sure I have items that annoy him, but he just doesn't comprehend, or want to comprehend the damage he is doing to our lives. There was one point about a month ago that I actually thought he would lay hands on me because of the level of hostility he had when he was out of the smoke. We have been together for seven years, and never once until that day did I feel threatened by him. I talked to him the next day and he got indignant that I would even think it was a possibility that he would ever hit me. Over the last couple of months his usage has increased drastically. He actually went through $100 of the stuff between Thursday and Friday this weekend. He ran out today to buy another $25 bag. He tells me he uses it for his back pain. I know my husband does have issues with his back, but he absolutely refuses to go to a doctor to get himself checked out. He says he is not going to go see someone that is just going to have him pop a pill and put chemicals in his body...I am sure everyone sees the irony in this statement. He justifies and tries to logic out his addiction. I can't take it anymore. Over the past 3 days I have not seen my husband straight. He was off work and began smoking the minute he woke up and its the last thing he does before going to bed. The time in between has been non stop. He is like a slurring zombie, he staggers, has issues walking, is hacking his brains out, rambles on to where he makes no sense, constantly makes little "suggestions" to me that are more like passive aggressive jabs. I am desperate here. I am beginning to truly believe there is no saving our marriage. The problem is I have no idea how to divide our lives. I am frightened because I don't know what is next or what I am going to do. We own a house together and a thrift store together (a store he has only stepped inside of 3 times in the last 6 months and it was his dream to have the business). Everything falls on me now. The finances, the business, the house, the food, the errands... I am so afraid to take the next step because I know it is going to be messing, ugly and exhausting. I am so so tired from all that has been on me for so long, I don't know how to muster the courage to do what is best for me at this point. I don't know how to help him. He refuses to admit he has a real problem and refuses to get medical advice for his issues. I don't even know where to begin. I have never had joint property with someone before and I don't know what to do. We are not rich and I cannot afford to pay an attorney lots of money. Another issue is our pets. We have 2 dogs. They are both mine, but now according to him the one dog is his and there is no way in hell I will ever get that dog. The dogs are like my children. I cannot have any real ones so they get my love. I refuse to leave one of my babies behind. I don't think it is fair to separate them and he has no interest in keeping the other one. I am afraid that if I try to take my dog/s, I am going to see a side of him I am terrified to see. Can anyone offer me any advice, suggestions? I am feeling so hopeless at this point. I kept track of what he spent in 1 month on this stuff and it was almost $1,000. He only brings home 850 every 2 weeks. We were a month behind on our bills but that didn't seem relevant. I had a small settlement come in yesterday from an injury I had. It is 3/4 gone already just catching up all of the things that were past due and currently due. Any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

Desperate in Florida and feeling beat down and hopeless. Thanks for listening.

Posted by: momg September 29, 2012, 10:48 PM
if you are serious, quietly get a hold of an attorney, im sure he will tell you to start documenting his drug use and the money issue, get some money put aside foryourself and then get serious about what you want to do

Posted by: sherryjustine September 29, 2012, 11:02 PM
momg,

Thank you for your reply. I just don't really know what other options there are. I don't think he is going to quit. I could go to his mom for help but feel horrible burdening her with this as her husband of 50 years just passed away in August. She has so much on her plate already. I am open to suggestions by all means. The problem is where do you draw the line and say this isn't really fighting for my marriage anymore? I feel like an enabler because I don't go ballistic. He is such a b****** sober, sometimes I secretly wish he would go get some just to cut me some slack. It makes me feel like a horrible person.

Posted by: momg September 30, 2012, 8:57 AM
i would personally not stay married to someone that used all our resources for drugs, but that is where your decisions come in. we dont look for this site unless we are desperate for help. and the help is for us, as the more you read the more you see that you cannot force another to change, it is only for ourselves. it is hard to make these decisions but even if you decide not to have him leave i always advocate having access to money privately, start by assessing what boundaries you can set and stay with, keep reading on the family board and the archives and learn from all of our mistakes.keep posting

Posted by: Jasmine December 2, 2012, 6:46 PM
I'm so happy that I'm not the only one going through this. My boyfriend of 4 year and now we have bought a house together has the same proplem. I have tried everything. I have gotten mad, cried, screamed and just flate stop talking to him. I'm always frighting for his attention and the fake weed always wins. It's a very lonly for the other person. I am at the point that I'm not going to help him. This isn't my addiction, it's his. It doesn't mean that I have to hang around while he's getting high. When our relationship falls apart, I will make sure he knows why.

Posted by: jess December 13, 2012, 9:29 PM
10, 15,& 20$ depends on cash I have. Doesn't matter if I eat a Good meal as long as I eat a chesseburger from the dollar menu. This is everyday. I'm reaching out for help but it very hard

Posted by: kelli December 23, 2012, 11:14 AM
I wish i knew how this turned out.
I am the one with the problem, and feeling so guilty every day.
Well, today is the day we ran out of money, so there is no more...and i am scared.
Without it for even hours amd i am sick to my stomach and jumpy, and that's when the crying starts and to my experience has never ended until i got some more, i have never been able to ride it out until it's over.
My husband won't leave me over it, and wants very much to help me. Every problem we have is this awful fake weed. It was supposed to be a toy, and I can't believe myself how much i wish i had a$20 to get some more, and it's 2 days before Christmas and i already know that it's going to be horrible.
Everyone will come over and watch grandma struggle with her stupid addiction..
I would really like to hear that it's a thing that happened in yoir past and lessons were learned and you all lived happily ever after...wish me luck.

Posted by: john December 24, 2012, 1:57 AM
Hi to everyone. First off I'd like to thank everyone for their experiences. I've been useing the fake weed for a few years now. Im just as you once were can't believe how far it has gotten. I first started to pass drug test for work. I used to smoke real weed then found out about this untracible new thing. I don't want to drag this out. If I don't smoke a I can't eat I notice the cold sweats and the mood changes. IV really put my family in a bind with debt and lost a lot of fire I had with my middle school sweet heart. We have three kids together and IV been on the verge of losing everything. Now my job is going to start testing for it and tonight I just smoked my last bowl I got. I think its the worse drug I've ever done more addictive to me the coke or even trying crack when younger. I think the hardest part of it is is trying to quit alone and no one that don't do it realizing it is as addictive as it is. They think its easy for something fake to quit. But by reading all yalls struggles I realize I'm not alone. I believe I can do this I've stopped before but fell back in. Luck for me I'm out of town and have no where I know to reup. I'm going to try to stop cold Turkey and I think looking at this form and reading it in hard times will help me. So thanks and ill keep u posted

Posted by: Joe14 January 2, 2013, 3:36 PM
My fiancé has been smoking it for years. He is in full denial of doing anything. His whole personality has changed. We fight constantly, we're always broke and he doesn't believe there's an issue. I'm the crazy one who accuses him daily. Finally, I searched his car and found 2 bags. I threw it at him and left in a crying rage. How did it become to this?! I'm lost for words. We worked things out and I told him I'd help him wing himself off of it. That's what we did. He smoked and smoked for 3 days straight and by the 4th he was sweating and sick. Monday came around and he came home from work and was starving! Hard for me to believe because not even 24 hours prior he couldn't eat? It's been about 2 wks and I found pieces of it on our table. He denies that's what it is. I'm not stupid but he makes me feel crazy. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried and tried to help but it doesn't stop. I hate this stuff. We've been together for 4 years and have lived together for 3-1/2 years. I don't know how to help him. I pray and pray, hoping gods plan is greater. I just wish he'd admit it. :( I'm sick over it. God Bless all of you struggling with this!

Posted by: Leilamag January 14, 2013, 6:01 PM
As a fake weed addict I truly understand you because of the fact I'm a weed fake weed consumer. All I gotta say to you is fake weed did also ruin my life and still is. I am already in the point of having no friends no one at all. He as well as I should get some serious medical attention but we are so damn addicted to it we are risking our own life's. This just shows you that It's almost impossible to quit when you become an addict. It sucks :( I was only able to write this while I am high on it because being sober I wouldn't had.

Posted by: blkwithwhtstrpz January 18, 2013, 5:57 PM
I too am dealing with this same problem daily, my husband was a weed smoker but had to stop due to his work. He then started smoking this fake stuff and has been hooked ever sense. Just this morning he had a bad trip and called me and said he couldn't drive and his head was pounding and he felt like he was having a heart attack it scared me to death. We have two litte ones that need him as well as I do. He promises that he is going to stop because it is not worth it. He said that it is so hard though cause everyone in his field smokes it. Has anyone that has been addicted found a way to get away from it? I am desperate but happy to know that I am not the only one dealing with this problem.

Posted by: pll87 January 21, 2013, 11:54 PM
I am having the same problem. I'm on my last straw right now. It won't be long until I have to leave the guy I've been in love with for the past 4 and a half years. I'm still love the hell out of him and I know he loves me. But this stuff has changed him and I feel so alone even if he is right next to me. I hate this stuff. Something needs to be done about it and the people who r making and selling it. I'd love to hear from anyone who is addicted or is dealing with someone who is addicted. My boyfriend and his friends are all passed out in the living room right now, like every day. It's disgusting and sad because he and (most) of his friends are really sweet and great people. They did not know what they were getting themselves into when they started smoking this crap. :'(

Posted by: real talk January 28, 2013, 7:47 PM
If he is smoking that fake s*** its stupid. I have seen many kids freak out because of that and one person is now paralized from the neck down from it. If he is dumb enought and irrigant enought to think that's a safe alternative and is willing to almost lay a finger on you for something that is considered to be fake weed then he is and should be to you nothing. Nothing wrong with the real thing but you can actually have an addiction to the fake s***. Trash it and bag it.

Posted by: Cinadra February 3, 2013, 4:46 PM
my ex has this problem too be still gets money from he and his new girlfriend and the reasons for haveing us both on a string is for money so he can keep on smoking more and more of this stuff. isnt there any place that helps?

Posted by: she-ra February 4, 2013, 9:59 AM
This addiction is real!!! Im an addict...quit cold turkey, landed me in hospital twice from withdrawal pains. I wake up, smoke so i can eat, couple hits will do, i smoke , i love the thinking highs... I smoke so i can sleep, so i can smile, what once used to be a fun past time became a way of life...i smoked to maintain...to maintain everyday life. Im an addicted. Something needs to happen people. People need to be informed...its scary..but very real. Its changed my life. The withdrawal pains are like no other. Almost killed me. 27 days i puked , Couldnt hold food or water down. Potassium level was so low . Then after seeing hospital twice and many ice cubes later (dehydration)..my appetite came back...i survived the physical withdrawals, not pretty . ;( this is real and i want to be heard and to inform people....it all should be illegal.

Posted by: she-ra February 4, 2013, 10:09 AM
And to touch base on other subjects ...bc this addiction is real, instead of leaving him, please get him help...dont give up on him. As an addict from it....the same girl who posted the last post today, i know for a fact he wants to be helped, he , deep down, does not want to smoke to maintain. ..please, my advise is to get him help. He is killing himself right now and doesn't realize it...

Posted by: VoiceofReason February 5, 2013, 9:20 AM
I am sorry to hear your stories of the pain and challenges that have faced some of you and the ones you love. I'd like to point out that at because this fake weed is legal, you or your loved ones can seek assistance as required without any fear of criminal charge. Better to have these products in the legal sphere where they can be better regulated, where user issues can be dealt with in a health framework and not a criminal one.

I hope that the addiction challenges you and your loved ones have had with fake weed, will in time, and with sensible drug policy, will help to shape an improved regulation of these products.

Posted by: Bre Bre February 6, 2013, 12:55 PM
This is insane, I'm very glad to have come across this post, my boyfriend of eight years and father to my two children is definitely addicted to this fake weed and definitely in denial about it. I'm at the point where I know for sure I will be leaving him once our lease is up at the end of this month. He just recently lost his job and was expecting his last check today, but there was a mix up with the company mailing out his check, and I will not fund his habit, so all morning he has been in the basement laying on the floor because he can't function sober. He will spend his last on buying this fake weed and will even overdraw his bank account to be able to get money to purchase it. It takes priority even over spending time with his kids!!!yuck!! I totally feel lost because he is evil And mean when he is sober, the only time he is smiling, happy, and sociable is when he is high and I just feel like I can't predict how he will act from day to day and that scares me. I am literally counting down the days for the lease to expire and we go our separate ways. He is a total stranger when sober, I just feel like this stuff needs to be illegal. I wish you all luck with you or your loved ones addiction.

Posted by: greg Cobain February 6, 2013, 5:08 PM
Um hi I came across you guys post looking to find out what was in this fake weed cause I wanted to be pre cautious about what was in it and what I was going to smoke. As I'm reading your problems I see that this is bringing much problems and stress upon you guys or should I say ladies lol marriages. I was a heavy smoker smoked roughly 4 5 times a day for a couple of years. And I see the similarities in the problems it brought. Moms (I'm 20 btw) on my back giving me havoc, can't get a job due to drug testing and just burden in every aspect. Justine I read your story don't get a divorce your the only female who knows and completely love this man he will be lost and devastated without u. You have a good man he just smokes he doesn't cheat, have a drinking problem (you didn't mention) so u have a good guy. him taking one of the dogs should tell you he doesn't want you to leave. My best advice for u guys is to pray on it that's how I got over my addiction (it's been over 11 months) and yes the thought still be on my mind smh but its not worth it. Wish u the best :)

Posted by: she-ra February 6, 2013, 6:00 PM
what some of you are failing to realize, is that addiction is a disease. would you leave your other half if they developed cancer? It's like this. when you continue drug usage it produces more serotonin than your own brain does, which is a chemical that makes you happy and feel good. the drug causes your brain to produce more than what it should. eventually your body becomes reliant on the drug to produce those things. this is why when someone is off of it for more than a day, they are listless and depressed. All it does is chemically alters your brain. It's all science people. It's not just us being crazy or lazy or sick. it's a disease. no different then drinking alcohol and smoking a cigarette. The problem is that no one knows exactly what's in this chemically. I was sooo hooked on it. I never understood addiction until this happened to me. I really feel bad for these guys... ;( girls please don't leave them. They are in a state that they don't even realize.. please please believe me when I say this...FOR ANYONE WHO NEEDS MY SUPPORT PLEASE EMAIL ME!!!!! THIS IS SERIOUS AND I WAS THANKFUL MY MAN UNDERSTOOD AND HELPED ME THROUGH IT... EMAIL IF YALL NEED TO!!! saynray@gmail.com

Posted by: khardy February 7, 2013, 7:56 PM
I dont even know where to begin...My husband od 12 years is very addicted and I feel so lost. He says just because they sell it in stores doesnt make it bad. Needless to say he is losing his mind and I'am very scared. Even today packing up our 2 year old and leaving has been on my mind. I have dealt with his other addictions in the past like drinking and weed when he stopped those things I was so happy and then someone he worked with told him about this stuff, and I can't deal. Please is there someone with advice I really dont know what to do. I want to stick by him because thats what I believe but honestly prayer is not working and I dont know how much longer I can so this.

Posted by: MomNMore February 7, 2013, 9:55 PM
If you've been through many phases of various addictions it appears that he continues to seek escape and until he gets real mental health services he will keep finding the next new thing and telling himself whatever lies he needs to in order to protect his addiction. I do not ever advise people on whether to leave or stay unless there is physical or emotional abuse involved, that is very much a personal choice, but what I would ask you is this: If this is as good as it gets, will it be good enough for you and your child? Has it been good enough so far? There is a very wise woman here who always says that a relationship is supposed to enhance your life, not make it more difficult...is yours fulfilling its promise?

You cannot make him well nor love him into sobriety. What are you doing for you and your child? What help are you seeking for yourself? Who is taking care of you? You can be supportive and loving and stick with him without living under the same roof...

Peace ~ MomNMore

Posted by: AlexanderPW February 10, 2013, 3:40 PM
This is the most difficult thing i've ever tried to beat. I have been smoking the "fake weed" for a little over a year now, lost my wife of 9 years and our two children because of my inability to function while on it, and the fact i cannot put it down, this crap has destroyed every facet of my life in one form or another. I have tried and tried again to get myself off of this stuff to no avail. Every day i tell myself this is the last one, until the withdraws kick in of course. I battled this while i was married, until, understandably my parter had enough. I have lost all of my friends because I cant function without having a hit readily available to eliminate the withdraw, so i have become a complete recluse, no friends, no family, and the only thing i can count on it seems is the next high, my only comfort. I hate who i am, who i have become, and know that i am not myself anymore, trying to quit pulls me into the most depressing bleak hopeless state i can even try to describe, uncontrolled crying (yes a 6'4 man crying like a baby), its so surreal. It seems so impossible to overcome I am amazed anyone has gotten through

Posted by: therealdeal February 20, 2013, 5:14 PM
I'm sorry to all those whom are having troubles, but can i say all drugs or medication is bad for you in quantity and can kill you. I to have seen what fake can do to a person and the changes they go thru and instead of just giving up and leaving them help them and support them they still love you deeply I'm sure but the addiction is getting to them. I smoke fake and real I've tried he bath salts...that's what hooked me and nearly lost my life because of it. I managed to quit the salt cold Turkey before any real damage was done, it was very hard and the withdrawals suck. As of today i still smoke real and fake and doing just fine in moderation, i have a gf whom i love with all my heart and support her on everything...i don't smoke day to day maybe once a week and that's just to keep my stress down...in my opinion everyone has a crutch of sum sort some just don't have good self control over the substance... to all the people trying to quit i wish you all good luck keep fighting and ull be able to quit just don't give in there is help out there if you look for it.

Posted by: felicia March 12, 2013, 7:46 PM
My boyfriend is so additicted this crap to he smiles it everyday borrows money for it never gives it back when he says he will and wants more and more I'm almost at my wits end he one day his eyes tools back in head and he started shakeun this happens to tines already and he wouldn't snap out of it I thought he was gonna die and started crying was bout call911 then he anapest out it and said what's wrong u I told him what happeend he didn't helices me 10 mins later he was pukeing everywhere he blamed it on food I cooked Anit no way it was that next day he buys another bag I get mad and threatened. Leave him he says I got sick cus just a bad bag chill and calling me all kinds names starts smokein then another thing he sleep 24/7 and wen he isn't he makes no Snice I feel so alone and I don't know wat do anymore he my first live first sex first everything been with him for 5 years ugh but all year he been addicted this crap just vesting worse and bad thing is wen he not on it he so mean me I kinda just can't wait till he smokes again so he quits verbally and phiscally abuseing me

Posted by: felicia March 12, 2013, 7:49 PM
Sorry for some the misplaced words and spelling in my post was on my phone and it always auto corectting please I would love hear story's from the addtics even people Knight addicts um so lost idk wat to do

Posted by: jefferson March 21, 2013, 11:10 PM
this synthetic weed is an epidemic. i got busted for real weed and got put on probation with drug tests, so i did what any rational person would and switch to the fake stuff. HUGE mistake although it did get me through the probation period. when i was done and went back to the real stuff, i couldnt get There. even the chronicy chronic couldnt get me to the high that the fake stuff could. the fake stuff is more addictive, more expensive, and def more harmful. it def messes with your cannaboid receptors, which is not only used by exocannabiniods like when you smoke the real or fake stuff, but for all the endocannabinoids which your body naturally produces. i started freebasing the powderized chemicals that make up the fake stuff and def gets you way, but im pretty sure it was the cause of an ER visit due to excruciating pain in my legs. I truly believe marijuana is medicine, but fake weed is a abomination. Ive seen a few people including myself whose personality changed while on the fake stuff. I wouldnt have admitted it at the time though. i wish you and your husband the best of luck, but i dont see him changing, till he sees the need to change. and quite frankly you can justify anything if thats what you think, no matter what "rational" thought might tell you.

Posted by: Hope March 22, 2013, 10:36 AM
The person who last posted is sooooo right. This is a disease and until the person is educated on what they are experiencing, they will be in a never ending battle trying to get off this crap. My hubby wound up going into an intensive outpatient substance abuse program for several weeks. It did wonders. My hubby also worked really hard. He now has a sponsor he talks to daily, still goes to aftercare once a week, and goes to AA meetings around 4 times per week. He also does daily praying and reading to stay connected to the healing/recovery process. Ok people. Have faith in your partner and keep trying to get them into some type of treatment. My hubby had to be arrested and hit Rock bottom for him to realize he needed help. Hopefully that won't be the case for u or ur loved one.

Posted by: Val101 March 24, 2013, 5:09 PM
I'm on this post, because my 24 year old son just called me and told me that he thought he was addicted to this legal s%#@. I immediately believed him and am looking for suggestions to help him. I told him he had to move home (one roommate won't stop....the other has) and he told me that I couldn't force him to move home. He says he doesn't have any $ even though he makes $600 a week and bills that equal no more than $800 a month and he doesn't remember or know where his $ is going.
He is thinking about moving home for 2-3 weeks, but what if he doesn't? Help! And suggestions to help him.....

Posted by: MelAnie April 28, 2013, 12:21 AM
I feel the exact same way. This is like a carbon copy of my life, except my husband had back surgery in sept, and is still unemployed. He is making me hate him and my life.

Posted by: Dj lamb May 1, 2013, 1:50 AM
I am going through the same thing. My husband is so addicted. I HATE it!!! He used to smoke weed, but got a union job and switched to this. He is a zombie!!! We have been married for 15 years and have a 13-year-old son, and he even knows my husband is on this crap! We have had our problems in the past, but I have never wanted to leave him. He has been on it for a year and a half and it has been the worst in the last five months. I have given him altimatums, and I have cried, yelled, tried to be reasonable, but toying works! Now, he can't sleep without it, wakes up in the middle of the night, blames it on chronic pain in other areas, and it is kridiculous. He spends about six hundred bucks a month on this crap! When he is on it (which is almost 24/7) he talks likes he is drunk, and when he isn't, he is moody and angry. I told him he has changed, and I am getting ready to leave him. He acts likes it is a joke, but it isn't. I am sick to my stomach, and I am sick of being angry at him. I feel like I am being a b**** by resenting him, but I can't help it! I just want my normal life back, even with the problems. He tries to get me to drive him to the store, because he doesn't have a license, and I refuse. He drives any other time. We live in a house, that is at least fifty feet from our neighbors, but when I talk to him, not yell, about it, he is paranoid, and thinks they can hear us. He went to Arizona for two weeks in March, and he said he would get clean, but didn't. Instead he smoked it down there and had some type of hallucination and thought the cops were after him twice, fought with his dad to the point where he was going to call the cops on him, and flipped out his sister's house also. He is not the same person. I am scared and worried of what to do! I hate the smell, and try to make it an out of sight, out of mind scenario, but he always smells like it. His fingers are gross from smoking roaches. Please, what can I do?!

Posted by: pll87 May 6, 2013, 1:29 PM
I posted awhile back and just want to say that my boyfriend and I had some big scary changes in our lives....I was on my last straw with him and he finally quit. He has been sober now since january and he is not going back. I'm soooo proud of him and so happy. I was so afraid that I lost him forever. I basically had to trap him at my house away from it and all his friends to get him off it he also had to agree to doing that. It was a long hard struggle but I'm so glad that I stuck by him. People on this need serious help! This is NOTHING like weed. I saw someone saying they were thinkin of trying it and had kicked the habit of smoking pot. Trust me I have also kicked the habit of smoking pot and I was basically high for about 4 years...and smoked for about 5....this addiction is NOTHING like pot. You will NOT be able it handle it the way you did weed. I am so thankful I found this page. I had already told him I was done and had left him to fend for ohimself, no family andno real friends to help him get off the crap when I found this page. When I saw how similar everyone's stories were I stopped taking his actions so personally and realized it was definitely the drugs. That when I went to him and told him if he seriously wanted to quit, as someone who really gives a damn, I will help him but he had to come to my house right away. He came the very next night because he had something he was doing and hasn't smoked since. So sharing your stories has helped at least 2 people :) thank you all and I pray things are going good for all of you and this crap is out of your lives. Also I saw someone say not to leave someone because they are on this. I say give it all you can but you can only do so much. Don't loose yourself.

Posted by: servant May 6, 2013, 3:44 PM
Pray. Ask Jesus for help and guidance. Stay strong and God bless you and you family

Posted by: aaron May 9, 2013, 2:02 AM
he needs to see what he's doing to your marrige once he relises he needs help little changes may start but without effort from him you have nothing i was in the same bout needed it to sleep but cost me $400 a week by the end my mates made me relise it was wrong and to get up and live a little lol sorry darl make him c or u have no chance leave hes gotta help himself to help you's hope i helped doctors have a natural pill of melitonin witch hepls sleep also have a natural all safe pill that helps with cravings the s*** he smokes is a chemical not the docs stuff make him see plz

Posted by: concerned mum May 9, 2013, 6:24 AM
My son is addicted to legal weed and has even stolen money for his next fix how can we get him to stop smoking it? Its tearing my family appart

Posted by: Houston19750421 May 21, 2013, 3:03 PM
I have been on a kicker the last 14 day with this fake weed.. Never been hooked on drugs in my life, maybe some weed from time to time and thats maybe 3 times a year. The stuff is strong... You need to just get him to stop. Its cheap and easy to get. I used to workout every day!! Now I just hide in my apart, smoke and do whatever.. You have to be willing to lose him in order for it to change. I even left my good job. I'm on it now and look how all over the place I am, this is not good.

Posted by: Concernedmama May 21, 2013, 5:32 PM
Do you want to quit Houston19750421? I was under the impression that they had stopped selling it in Houston effective 5/13/2013. I hope so because my son was on it - I even called one of the head shops (Zig Zag) and they said they had to stop selling it.

Houston - go look at the beginners guide and get started - I know you want your life back - Read all these stories of despair on here - no one started smoking this to get addicted - it was just a way to get around the drug test for work - my son didn't think he would be addicted either - this poison does it to you.

Houston, you have to want it - ask for help from a family member, friend or you can keep pouring your heart out on here. We are all anonymous and trying to help one another.

I will be praying for you Houston.

CMama

Posted by: Houston19750421 May 29, 2013, 3:01 PM
That was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life... I have not smoked in a week.. have 0 desire to

Posted by: newlifeforyou May 29, 2013, 7:15 PM
Hi sherryjustine,

This is a serious addiction. I just finished writing http://www..xxx/spice-aka-k2-fake-marijuana-synthetic-marijuana/ delving into the serious nature of the problem.

I have no idea why these drugs are legal but they can have a devastating effect on the person using them.

You seem to have vested a lot of time and effort into this relationship and the best place to get advice is at http://www.coda.org/ or http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ meetings, talking to people who are/have been in exactly the same place you are.

You can't help him, he needs to want to help himself, but you can help yourself. In the end the best thing to do may be to kick him out or leave, and there will, for sure, be many hardships as a result, but I would seriously start by going to meetings with like minded people.

As a drug addict I am appalled at my behavior. I did things, that in sobriety, seem absolutely awful; I treated my wife so poorly and my ego (my disease) would not let me see the true nature of beast I had become. It was not until I got into rehab and the counselors put the mirror up to my face that I saw the monster standing before me.

Thankfully my wife stood by me and I am forever grateful and indebted to her. I also know that my story is rare. Unfortunately most addicts never quite realize the damage we have done, nor show remorse for the harm we have caused.

My prayer an thoughts are with you and I hope you find your way to some meetings no mater how it turns out.

Posted by: mermaid66 May 31, 2013, 5:27 AM
Hope your still doing well Houston, it took me a few goes at quitting, but I'm 3 weeks away now and feeling sooooo much better, it's worth the pain to get away from this stuff, really...

Posted by: Recovering951 May 31, 2013, 2:12 PM
1 am 37 yeas old male and For 20 years I self medicated for depression with marijuana, fairly effectively. I am a software engineer hand have been earning 100k a year the past 4 years. This past year I started using the "fake weed" aka "spice" because it would not show up on an employers drug tests and I could buy it at local Tabaco shops. I soon began to suffer paranoia and when I stopped "spice" found that marijuana stopped working for me. After stopping "spice" and marijuana both I became so depressed that I became suicidal, I have lost my last 2 jobs, my wife has taken our two young children and left me, and I have spent the past month in psychiatric hospitalization. I have been off everything other than prescribed antidepressants now for 6 weeks, and can function fairly well now. I am 37 years old and an now living with my mother again. This fake weed needs to be considered as dangerous as PCP! It is much more harmful than marijuana! The individual states outlaw one fake weed formula at a time as they identify them in the market place, but the greedy and evil labs that produce the stuff find a new molecule that is similar but not outlawed and start selling that. The fake weed formula changes month to month and can be more dangerous than last months batch. Beg your loved ones to stay away from this %*!#!

Posted by: Chris June 6, 2013, 10:27 AM
Hello to all, I am only 21 and I had been smoking weed since I was 14,i understand exactly what you and your partner (fake weed smoker) is going through, I know yeah I am only young and what would I know but trust me I understand exactly how this new legal drug works and through my eyes its the devils work. I eventually jumped on fake weed 3 years ago when I got so immune to weed that the hits were not as satisfying anymore and because fake weed was such a powerful and addictive hit I preferred it over the real stuff and it was a major issue through my parents eyes because it was more expensive then weed alone and it was draining all my money, I felt like a zombie coz all I ever thought about was my next hit and I felt I couldn't function without it but the biggest problem about that was when I had my hit I couldn't function while I was on it. My step father who had raised me since I was 7 passed away last year but for the last 2 years of his life he had watched as I got worse and worse and he got me to promise him that one day I will quit because if I don't I am going to hurt everyone around me and end up lonely ,I said to him yes one day I will I promise the next hour after that I went in my room and took another hit and I did it everyday till he died before he died he had been teaching me his business and I did take over it, I started with $8000 I used 1500 for rent 500 on bills and another 400 on parts and the rest of the money was spent on fuel for my car cigarettes and FAKE WEED, I eventually had no money and I realised no money no fake weed so I pulled my head outta the bong for a couple of days and worked my head of I received 3000 the next month and my violence got worse because I could not smoke as much as I did before, my mum got stressed with me because I started to take her money and save mine for the business, an extra three months of the same routine and my mum was starting to get really worried because she had realised how much money I had been wasting, so she said "either you seek professional help or I will close your business down and send you to the poorest part of the Philippines with no money" my choice was professional help. So I tried anti depressants and it helped my through only one day the next day I woke up violently jumped in my car and drove like a maniac to the nearest place to buy fake weed, I had my hit and I felt a million times better, I threw the anti depressants away and bought eye drops so my mum couldn't tell if i had smoked out or not (what i didn't realise is that you can also tell by how large the pupils are) she eventually caught me out again, she said "this is your last chance i will take you to the doctors now " i agreed and went with her , the doctor said ok what is the problem now ;i said the anti depressants give me a headache and its not helping, so he gave me Champaks the drug to quit smoking . I tried it and i felt it had no effect so i stopped using it and kept on smoking . my mum caught me again, this time she said if i send you to Philippines you will probably die trying to find weed there plus at that time she used all her money to send my grandma from there to come here to Australia , so i slowed down a bit because my mum really had no money and i felt bad for stealing it, i was still able to smoke $50 worth through 2 days so i was still on it everyday. anyway 2 months pass by and my grandma died in hospital. my mum borrowed money from the bank to fly my grandmas body back and to pay for or tickets for her and i to go there. We Stayed in this house that didn't even have a front door and i got really sick because my immunity was so low from all the smoking i had done and the fact that i had no way of getting fake weed whilst i was there made it worse. a couple of days pass and on one morning i woke up to have something to eat i had one mouth full of food ran straight to the toilet and violently started to throw up fluid and some green stomach acids at the same time of throwing up i felt i was going to have diarrhoea in my pants so i sat on the toilet and threw up in a bucket in front of me , eventually my poo was green but it started to stop coming out because i really had nothing in my stomach. i also stop vomiting so heavily so i laid in bed with a bucket beside me drinking water and Gatorade throwing up a few minutes after drinking it, eventually my mum was getting concerned and she asked if i wanted to go to hospital, i said no because i know that i would of made a complete mess of myself and that i was in no state to leave the bed, so she got a witch doctor to come see me. She had these medical leaves and started to break them upon my stomach and spit the extract over my stomach. i was getting really dizzy and i told the woman to go away coz i was getting irritated , i tried to eat something light like corn crackers and it seemed to stay down for an hour but then i vomited it all back out, so i laid there praying saying to God how sorry i was for abusing my body and soul and that i just want to die now because this pain was really that unbearable, i eventually had a violent anger attack (a withdrawal) and i was screaming saying "that's it im gonna kill myself, i cant take it anymore!!" as i was running for the knife vomiting on myself my mum screamed stop and got my uncle to grab me in a head lock chucked me back in the room and locked the door until i calmed down, eventually i did and i thought to myself :that was not me just then, i have so much to live for, i have so many peope that love me , why would i ever had done something that stupid ,i layed on the ground choking and crying at the same time. the door opens and a woman walks in with holy water and holy oil and says to me "get up wipe yourself and lay on the bed" so i dried my tears wiped myself and laid on the bed. she was marking crosses with oil on my forehead ,my arms, body and legs then she preyed in Filipino to what i couldn't understand then she sprayed holy water in a form of a cross on me, my body felt paralysed for a minute and it form itself as if i was being crucified, i felt that my soul was dirty before but now it had been cleansed , i have not felt this feeling before its very hard to explain. i closed my eyes and i dreamt of seeing my step father and what i had promised to him. the next day i woke up and my sickness was gone. after that experience i had totally drawn myself away from weed, fake weed or any other drug that effects my mind and i have never looked back , my relationship with my religion is stronger now and i feel i can never go back to my old self. my point through this whole story is that the only way to quit a drug with that much power is either will power or trauma, because there is no possible way that a drug can replace a drug. nor can someone force someone else into something that they don't want to do. Probably the best advice i can give about quitting is education, experience and to never give up giving up.

Posted by: caddybaby July 10, 2013, 11:58 PM
whats goin on ppl.....my name is caddybaby, i love smokin the spice, it puts me where i need to be, everytime i smoke it......i smoke it when i get up, i smoke it when i need to eat sumthang, i smoke it when i go to my kids games, i smoke it when i pick up the kidds from daycare, i smoke it when i just got finished smokin, i smoke when i go to another county, bc i cant stand the soberness for to long. I smoke it when i want to,.....but theres one major problem, its killin my relationship, badly. I love this lady so so so much...to where when i tell ha she dont believe me, et all, not one bit. Shes the love of my life, that ill give up my own to see ha breathe another breath. i really wana quit but dont know how...i quit smokin mary jane for 2 yrs now...but im back on another type of high......i ask god to peel me like an onion, like i did for the maryjane.....i just need help, and need help fast...im losin everything i waited so long for.....sumone, ne one please give me advice or givve my fiance sum advice, so that she can try to help me.....shes tryin, and tryin hard, bc she wants us to work, badly, really bad....so i need to match and catch up with ha....I NEED TO GET OFF THIS FAKE s***, now......caddybaby.....

Posted by: newlifeforyou July 12, 2013, 11:02 AM
caddybaby, you need to check into a rehab and start going to meetings.

I have been smoking everything and anything you can roll into a sig for over 20 years. First off, marijuana is a depressant, so anyone who believes they are fighting depression with it, does not really understand the true nature of the beast. It is a dopamine blocker (depressing the functionality of the brain). The reason most people with depression use it is to forget their troubles which helps, but this is a slippery slope, because as soon as the high is over your mind is even more depressed, so you need to continue, eventually finding your way to other substances like Spice et al.

If you want to stop and can not, get help. There is plenty of good rehab facilities around the world. Nothing will show your fiance more commitment that starting with step one, which is to realize your addiction is out of control and you need help.

I tried to stop for over 20 years and could not do it on my own. I too am a programmer, making good money, thinking that this was making me more creative and giving me the ability to work longer and harder, right up until I got sober and looked at the crap I was writing. I can't believe people paid me to write such junk!

Please get help. Please reach out. There are many good programs, out there, and until you realize that drugs are actually the symptom of our irritable self discontent and really start dealing with our stinkin' thinkin' we are hopeless.

AA, MA, CA, NA are all there to help, and there are good people in those meetings that can help you figure it out. All you need to do is reach out to like minded people. You can't do it on your own, non of us can.

Posted by: TZ August 6, 2013, 2:48 PM
@caddybaby You have to quit this stuff. I smoked all day every day for a year and was finally able to quit smoking the Sh** Do yourself a favor and get some help. You can get a lot of good information about spice addiction @ http://SpiceAddictionSupport.org. Check them out. There are a bunch of people just like you on there. When I read other people's stories and realized I was doing the exact same thing these people were doing, I realized I wasn't alone and it was easier to see how addicted I was.
Take care of yourself
Tim

Posted by: Mezzy1 September 7, 2013, 2:39 AM
When I read all of your stories, I felt as though it was me that had written them! My husband has been smoking fake weed for over a year. It is more horrible than any other drug I have ever experienced. I tried it once or twice and hated the way it made me feel. Our life together is nothing like it used to be. I videotaped him while he was high several times which showed him passing out, having seizures, dropping lit cigarettes, etc. When he saw himself like this it had no effect on him whatsoever. He is sitting up in a daze right now as i am writing this. His usage has increased and i counted in the last 6 days he spent $295 that i know about. But yet he is worried about bills we are behind on. He, too, smokes from the time he wakes up and will even stay up through the night just to smoke. He tells me he was up because he was trying to use the bathroom cause his stomach was sick. He acts like i am an idiot and i dont know what he is doing. Our relationship (including sexual) is pretty dead as he would rather stay high more than anything else. I once took his pipe away and to make a choice between me and his precious weed and he chose the fake weed. No competition there! He doesn't take me seriously at all but of course I am still here putting up with it. He is like a blob passed out ALL THE TIME. He hacks all the time and seems like he breathes hard a lot. He even just got out of rehab 9 months ago! He neglects about everything in his life. I love who he used to be and wish that man would come back. I am about out of hope as this has taken a toll on my joy. I figured I have to live as much as possible as if i am truly alone. He also gets nasty when he runs out but you can bet 24 hours won't go by without him getting some. He acts clueless as to what this has done and still doing to our life. Totally ruining it! I see this as such a selfish act on his part. Maybe I should leave and let him live happily ever after with his fake weed? Hell, at this point, i doubt it would phase him. Any words of wisdom?

Posted by: newlifeforyou September 9, 2013, 4:06 PM

Mezzy1 I feel for you,

I am a 15 year addict of all sorts of drugs, and the damage we do to the ones we love is beyond imagination. It is really sad that we allow drugs to take over our lives and turn us into despicable people who have no idea what we do to the ones we love.

The first thing you should do is go to http://www.coda.org/ or http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ meetings. The reality at this point is there is probably not much you can do for him if he is unwilling to accept the reality of his addiction (and we - addicts - have all been there).

Personally I would never have quit if my wife had not kicked me out. It was the first time there was a real consequence for what I had done. My drug addiction(s) was something that consumed a lot of my time and effort in life, and I (in delusional belief) thought I was a better person (more creative) when I was stoned (NOT). She too would see the glazed eyes and the inability to be present and did not want anything to do with it.

But she did not make empty threats. She meant it. I was out, until I could clean up, even then she allowed me back into the house with much trepidation. I had to voluntarily go to New Life Treatment Center (NLTC), and if I ever drink or do drugs she will kick me right back out of our house.

The reason I recommend CODA or Al-Anon is because if you are choosing to stay with a man like you described than the problem really is you, and your inability to let go. You are way more precious and worthy than to spend the rest of your life with someone who would choose drugs over you. Would you stay with him if he were sleeping with another women? Yet he is in love with his drugs and you continue to enable him by making empty threats that you back away from.

He knows he's got you, and he knows how to manipulate you to continue using and (excuse the language) vomit all over you, without care.

The more important question is why are you in such an abusive relationship? Why do you continue to allow him to treat you this way? Why does he get to be selfish, and you get to be the victim? From the little you wrote (and I am far from knowing the entire situation) it seems like you have major co-dependency issues that you need to resolve. Stop trying to make everyone else happy, and start focusing on being content and happy in your own heart.

When you say your going to leave (or kick him out) than do it. When you don't it validates (irrationally) that he is right and your wrong, that there is nothing wrong with his drug abuse.




Posted by: Fed Up September 18, 2013, 7:53 AM
Ok so my husband has been on and off this fake weed since it came out. And its never bothered me until we moved out to where we are now. Whatever the formula is out here at the store he goes to is terrible. When he is high he cant speak. Its like talking to an old homeless drunk with no teeth, stuttering and cant understand a freaking word he says. After he smokes it, he gets munchies profusely to the point where he is now bulimic. He looks like hes gained 40 pounds or so. Sometimes he gets different batches so its different. He smokes passes out wakes up smokes passes out smokes passes out. He goes full retard on it. I have given him an ultimatum a million times and I don't want to give up but I cant stand it anymore.

Posted by: Fed up September 25, 2013, 10:24 AM
I am in the same boat with my husband and I have 3 kids at home ages 2,10,12. the two oldest are from a previous marriage. I want to tell the ladies who are thinking about leaving their husbands and that are being told NOT to by others that this TRAIN WRECK is NOT YOUR PROBLEM. If your husbands admit they have a problem and you choose to stick by them while they ACTIVELY get help then I admire you and your doing the right thing. For those chemical heads (is what I call it) who DO NOT think they have a problem and refuse to get help. DONT YOU FOR ONE SECOND FEEL GUILTY about moving on with your life. I am 40 years old.. Your have 1 life and 1 life only and especially if you have children, you and your kids do not deserve to be IN DANGER #1 because this stuff is dangerous! and # 2 what kind of influence do they have on your children, not to mention they are worthless when they cant even assist with the children because they are too F_ _ _ ed up all the time! Sorry life is too short and you did not sign up for this. If my husband does it 1 more time he better haul his a** to rehab or move out! PERIOD! Its a shame but why should your life be ruined because of their bad decisions!

Posted by: cas September 27, 2013, 11:27 AM
If he's that addicted to it then why don't you just offer him a big bag for letting you keep both dogs? sure he will take it then just get far away from him he sounds like a loser and you sound like such a nice woman do you really want to be sitting there in 10 years from now wondering what you have done with your life and not having anything as this will happen you can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves for you the first step of leaving him will be the hardest but you can do it and re build your life I know you don't feel like it now but you'll meet someone new and better don't let this poor excuse of a man drag you down any longer I hope it all works out for you

Posted by: Mezzy1 September 28, 2013, 1:57 AM
Thank you all for your experiences and opinions. I am still going through the same things with my husband. I am just so tired that I can't talk to him about our problems without him getting agitated and shutting the whole conversation down. I really don't talk about it much to him or any feelings for that matter. I find myself (once I try to motivate myself) working on getting back into other outlets that once gave me joy and satisfaction. I feel I must gain my independence back. This year has taken a lot out of me. Words I never thought would come out of my husband's mouth are seared in my mind. I don't feel the love he once had for me. I had hoped he would see what this addiction has done to us but he cares more about the fake weed more than me. I don't confront him about his lies anymore. He lies about the stupidest stuff and tells stories to justify or cover up things he doesn't want to tell me. He seems to get free or real cheap fake lol this is to let me know he is not spending a bunch of money on it which was a big issue with me. I work full-time as an accountant and have always been outgoing and independent. One of you said he knows he has me. You are absolutely right. I have threatened and not followed through. I live in a bubble now and I know it's my bad for not doing anything to truly invoke change. Whether it be him getting help if he sees how serious it is or whether it be me leaving. As I said, this year has beaten me down and I am just now trying to find the strength to find happiness again. I can't believe how much this drug has changed our lives. We still don't have an intimate relationship. He is just kinda there. There are some bright moments but the fake weed destruction outweighs those moments. I live in his hometown away from my family so that makes it more difficult too. I guess what it's come down to is I know I need to get it together, get strong again, take control of MY life and make a life changing decision. Life is too short for BS. If anyone thinks this drug is harmless physically or mentally, I would STRONGLY DISAGREE. He has abandoned everything in his life because of this drug. I hope they are happy together. I can't compete. Please keep me in your prayers! I hope this helps anyone who uses this drug gets help before it's too late. If it can ruin my husband and I who ad a strong, loving relationship, it can ruin anyone! I can go into so many stories but I would be writing all night! Questions and comments are welcome. Peace and love.

Posted by: Mezzy1 September 28, 2013, 2:04 AM
Newlifeforyou..... You are right and you tell it like it is! I am glad to hear you turned things around with your wife. I am being used and vomited on. I will look for a group as you mentioned. I will keep you posted.

Posted by: natalie1610 September 29, 2013, 4:06 PM
I to delt with the same issues, I feel for you and I completely understand. I finally took the step and made the decision to leave and it has been tough on me and my kids but I have got closer with them and I have not went negative in my account not once since he has been gone. Life is way to short to be unhappy. My thoughts are with you.

Posted by: KIS46913 November 25, 2013, 10:08 PM
I'm in a similar situation. My husband and I have been married for 8 months. He had been smoking Spice prior to our wedding, but it wasn't until a few months after that I discovered the extent of his addiction.

I do not know what to do to help him or myself. I feel defeated, used and unloved. I spend most of my nights sleeping alone because he smokes and then passes out in the living room. I've had to call my parents to pick me up from work (we only have one car and he's supposed to pick me up on the days he gets off before me) because he's been too stoned to remember to get me. Our house smells awful because of the Spice.

To top everything off, his addiction is my fault. We had issues with him lying to me about smoking weed because he thought I didn't like the fact that it was illegal (which is untrue. I hated the lying and sneaking that he did.) I had heard about a legal alternative, Spice, that was readily available, and suggested that he try that so there could be no misunderstandings about it. Two years later he's lying and stealing my bank card when I'm asleep (I took his away after he spent $140 in two weeks without me knowing).

I don't know what to do. I'm 22 and I can't live the rest of my life like this. But I don't know if I can admit to our families that, after only 8 months of marriage, I'm calling it quits.

Posted by: christy December 30, 2013, 9:46 PM
I feel as if i wrote the top paragraph word for word. My husband to has become a stranger to his family. Its been a tough road for us. Crying rivers becuase I still am madly in love with him after ten years. It hurts i dont talk to him anymore he is out of town in denial. Me and my kids on ground zero, im so used to being a house wife. This is a tough one, but i know now that im not alone.

Posted by: dylan_bradley March 26, 2014, 12:12 AM
Well hearing from your post I can relate I was addicted to fake weed for years and I would run out n do what ever it took to get more...have faith in your husband.I had to move to get clean it took two weeks of spice free until my lungs would expand to smoke normal Weed so if u have to put him in rehab or w.e get him away .yes he might act a fool for a week but its worth it in the long run.I'm one year clean n will never touch that man made garbage again but listen for your husband point of view ....don't let a chemical based drug ruin your marage ..life's too short .if he says harsh s*** its cuz he's out ta tweed. If my additive personality can get off it he can too ...there is still hope.

Posted by: warriorz March 26, 2014, 9:46 PM




Reading all these stories has definitely given me a wakeup call as well as the wd's the last couple of days. I really need to get off this stuff fast. As much as I love to be high, I do NOT want to feel like I have this week ever again. Very little sleep, rapid body temp changes, low appetite, anxiety, etc.


Posted by: Another sad wife April 2, 2014, 2:05 PM
I also am going through a horrible time with my husband being addicted. A brand called Black Voodoo. It takes away his motor skills, speech slurred, verbally abusive one minute loves me the next. Just heartbreaking. My husband has went as far as pawning all our stuff, stealing from others. He is, (when straight) my best friend, a great father to our 2 kids. I see some post about just leaving them...Not that easy when you are in love and know the person they can be. I don't want him to go but his choices are his own and I can't stop him for it's not my fault. Glad I'm not alone but sad we all are dealing with it at all.

Posted by: Hope April 21, 2014, 1:21 AM
I feel relieved to read so many emails that are so similar to my situation and that I am not out there alone. My situation may be different only because I am 66 and my husband will soon be 64 and only started smoking these herbs about three years ago. It started off slowly, but since this past Thanksgiving it has grown to be out of control. My adult children came down heavy on him during that holiday because he seem stoned most of the holiday weekend. When the kids returned back to their out-of-state homes, he went to his MD (when pressed). He told the doctor that he was depressed and asked for meds for depression (which the doctor prescribed for him). When we went to visit the children again at Christmas, everyone saw a change for the better. Then we returned home only for me to find that he had been lying to us all. Yes, he was taking the depression medication but upon returning home, I discovered that he is still smoking herbs because he says the herbs enhance the medication and so now he is doing both. He loves the feeling he gets...that zombie state that I hate because I don't know him anymore. Instead of just doing his herbs on Friday and Saturday nights, he now wakes up around 10am or 11am Saturday and Sunday morning and begins smoking from 1pm and all through the day until I have to nag him to go to bed at 1am. I am afraid he will fall and hurt himself if he stays up late and if I am not right there with him. This man was always extremely friendly and a lot of fun. He has no memory left, no conversational skills, passes out while someone is speaking to him or just sits there at the table as if in a trance. He stutters and slurs his words, laughs uncontrollably at nothing and coughs(hacking) for quite a while after smoking. He has his head in the refrigerator 'binge eating' constantly and then the next day says that it feels like he has a hole in his stomach. I am afraid if I leave him, he will harm himself badly when he hits bottom. I have been needing help for a long time now. He prefers the smoke over me, our children and our granddaughter. If I leave him after these 40 years we are married, he will destroy himself and eventually lose his job. My children just get angry, frustrated, disappointed in him. They tell me to leave him if he doesn't stop and so I have not told them how bad it has gotten here over the past 4 months. Leaving is not such an easy thing to do for many reasons. I feel trapped and lost.


Posted by: hopelesslydevoted November 16, 2014, 11:28 PM
mezzy i have the exact same situation as you and i am curious to know how its going for you

Posted by: Papa Bear November 17, 2014, 8:21 AM
I strongly suggest you look up Nar-Anon and Al-Anon in your telephone books and call them.

Addiction/alcoholism is indiscriminate and affects male/female old & young.

I have been in recovery over 25 yrs and seen many folks come into AA and NA in their later years and embrace The 12 Steps.

The great folks at Al/Nar-Anon will guide you in the best direction.
You have to get outside help... both you and your spouse. You are both affected by addiction.

I wish you the best.

Bob R

Posted by: moderator July 10, 2017, 9:54 AM
Katz,

We have moved your post to it's own thread and put it in Families/Partners of Addicts. Here is a link to the thread: http:///message_board/index.php?act=ST&f=22&t=80976

- the moderators

Posted by: Katz July 12, 2017, 10:25 AM
Thanks.