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Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011
Posted: August 10, 2016, 1:32 PM
Sometimes I feel funny posting here as I AM an alcoholic/addict and the crux of most folks problems. -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
Posts: 454
Joined: August 4, 2015
Posted: August 10, 2016, 4:04 PM
Thank you for the information Bob. We all value your input.
Michelle -------------------- Michelle | ||
Posts: 41
Joined: July 3, 2016
Posted: August 10, 2016, 7:32 PM
Once I went all the way with my partner but didn't get in! So many people smoking outside and I felt so uncomfortable to walk trough them that we left! So easy to say to addicts, just go to groups, but it can be terrifying. Your post give me the certainty that I have to try again! I will, tonight I think it is! Thank you.
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Posts: 1906
Joined: October 23, 2011
Posted: August 10, 2016, 7:43 PM
They won't bite you :0)
If you are polite to them they will be good to you. Looking forward to hearing how your meeting goes. Bob -------------------- Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Free copy of AA's Big Book on-line: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoh...olics-anonymous Free copy of NA's Big Book on-line: Copy & Paste coastalcarolinaarea.org/literature/books/b_t.pdf AA's HOW IT WORKS: Copy & paste www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf NA's HOW IT WORKS: http://www.na.org/admin/include/spa...0it%20Works.pdf ---------------------------------------------------------------- --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. ---there are those too who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. ... I need AA more than it needs me. --- I fight recovery tooth and nail.... I'm not used to being sane, it just doesn't seem natural. ...... According to the great spiritual teachers, ignorance does not result from what we don’t know; ignorance results from what we think we do know. ---Some think that 2+2=5 and believe it. Some know that 2+2=4 and can't stand it. --- I didn't have a very happy childhood but I sure am having a long one ! ---Dry since 1989 working daily on getting/staying SOBER. ---If you want to drink, that's your business ...If you want to quit, that's AA's business. ... Tell me, I'll forget; ... Show me, I'll remember; ... Engage me, I'll understand. ---Most problems are psychological. Most solutions are spiritual . "If we try to change our ego with the help of our ego, we only have a better-disguised ego." --Richard Rohr WWBWD (What Would Bill W. Do) | ||
Posts: 733
Joined: October 5, 2015
Posted: August 10, 2016, 11:42 PM
Thank you Papa Bear, I value your advice very much! I'll look into it. How many years is it now you've been sober? You've certainly got a lot to be proud of. Your an inspiration and you give hope to me. God Bless.Mary :-)
This post has been edited by Mandm on August 10, 2016, 11:47 PM | ||
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Posted: August 11, 2016, 1:37 AM
I found it so ironic when I saw this post today. Anytime I've posted on here.. (which is once in a blue moom) I've felt same. What's coincidental though was I talked with my mom last night about my fears (that are most likely in my head) of my boyfriend/sons father using again. She brought up alanon...which had actually crossed my mind earlier in night. I think to myself how it might be strange going, as I am an alcoholic/addict. As you probably know by now I haven't even been involved in aa. I've gone and always felt comfortable there...ok maybe not at the end when everyone holds hands in a circle chanting something I don't know :) but yeah other then that always felt at ease. what's your thought on the alanon thing for myself... thanks -Mary
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: August 11, 2016, 7:57 AM
I think anything is good when it keeps you motivated. motivated to learn new things. motivated to change. motivated to improve. you are aware. that is a good thing. a social group is a good thing too. any group is good if you are comfortable and click with the people there.
ok after saying that I re-read your post.... your bf who is your son's father.... yes you should go to alanon or naranon. In my area people did like naranon better but they can be hard to find. Also, it is probably not in your head. family members closest to the action, seem to have a 6th sense about whether the loved one is using. This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on August 11, 2016, 8:01 AM | ||
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Posted: August 11, 2016, 12:56 PM
Thanks ny, well i think (hopefully) it is in my head..even if that makes me a little crazy. We used to live together, but because of mainly financial situations we haven't for well over a year. Because of recent work, we have only been seeing each other about once a week after seeing each other almost daily. Anything that seems 'off' over phone my head starts to go there unfortunately. You are right though I know I will KNOW eventually if case. I almost feel somewhat disrespectful going, when people are really going through it, when these are most likely my crazy suspicions. I do have an alcoholic brother and addict friends I care about..but don't let that rule my mind, as I know there is nothing I can do. With the b/f i get different though...
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Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016
Posted: August 11, 2016, 8:22 PM
Ugh.... That is how I am feeling about my son. he is 1000 miles away, went to rehab and halfway house, now is renting a room, working, not at the halfway house. Mostly I feel like no news is good news. And that he is doing OK. and if he relapses we will know soon enough. but I really dont want him to relapse.... so I am watching from the side lines, a silent movie, and Im wondering what's going on.... anyway, I would like him to stay clean, of course. But I cant ask him questions every day! So I just keep wondering. maybe it is the open endedness that is bothersome. the elephant in the room.
About a month ago his dad thought he sound 'off' and he was sniffling and throat clearing. and 'talking slow'. but my husband has a way of provoking, or hearing what he wants to hear. Husband called son a lot over the next week, both yelling and giving pep talk. I stayed off the phone so I would not get weak and enable something. Son seems OK now. Did not ask for $$ but has been talking about getting a different job and did ask for new clothes for work. So - I understand. I came to this message board because the wondering is rattling in my head too much. I do have books from Nar-Anon, which I have started reading again. I think have to keep planning for yourself and keep your ducks in a row. So you will be in a good place no matter what happens. | ||
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Posted: August 12, 2016, 10:52 PM
Yeah exactly, can't constantly ask questions/sound accusatory. Even if it's NOT in an accusatory way, we often take it that way. Well, sounds like your son has been in a good direction..I imagine if he keeps regular contact, that's a good sign. I know what you mean when you said your husband hears what he wants (even if he DOESN'T) my mom can definitely be like that. Anyway BOOKS..Thanks something so obvious I didn't think of! :)
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