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Message Board > Pain Pills > ?ing My 10 Years Clean, On Narcotics For 16 Days

Posted by: Caithatesyou2 July 27, 2021, 3:56 AM
I feel like s***. I was on every opioid I could get my hands on 10 years ago. I went cold turkey, well from that drug I used Marijuana as a form of replacement therapy because honestly I don't see a problem with weed. I held my job for the last 3 years without any issue, my boyfriend who is alo in recovery(3 years clean) and I got our own place together and have been doing really well. However, on Friday the 9th I fell and broke my humerus, shattered into 3 pieces, right above the elbow. I have been on 5mg.norco ever since. I didn't have insurance at the time so when I applied and paid, my insurance doesn't go into effect until August 1st. I had to pay out of pocket 300 bucks to see an orthopedic surgeon to reset my splint and to get more pain pills. I was taking 4 a day and have reduced it to 3 day. Today I decided to cut that down to one at night time. I was in excruciating pain and ended up having to take two. I am just terrified, I do not want to fall.into old habits, I feel like I've betrayed myself. My bf keeps telling me that it's okay and that I need them, which I learned today is indeed true, but I can't help but remember a time when I felt I needed them and was completely lying to myself within my addiction. I find out on the 2nd if I need surgery or not, 2 weeks ago I was told it was a definite yes, but I keep hoping for a different Monday. So I guess I came on here for advice..or support...I'm just hoping there has been someone else who has been clean and had no choice than to kill the pain with narcotics. I had always told myself I would never use anything but ibuprofen. Even when I was in a car accident a few years back, I didn't use s***. But this broken bone is unbearable without the relief, and I was specificallyinstructednot to use ibuprofen because it can inhibitbone growth. I have not.once felt high, but it's still terrifying to me. I've never done NA or any program so I didn'tknow who to go to for advice. I just was hoping for advice., maybe reassurance? I have mamy friends and aquantences that getting clean was the hard part, staying clean is the easiest thing in the world. I'm so scared that I will have to do the getting clean again. Not nearly to the degree I had to 10 years ago when I was banging everything I could liquify, but f*** man, I never thought I would be here. Thanks in advance for any responses, sorry if I sound whiney, I'm just scared of myself which is why I have stayed clean for so long. If anyone reads this and just wants to tall about getting out of their addiction, I would so love to help. But yeah, if you've ever been anywhere near my shoes, please just reach out. Am I okay? Am I not clean anymore? Super lost and confused. Thanks y'all. Peace and love.

Posted by: 12 stepper August 4, 2021, 11:12 AM
If it were me I would finish the script and start taking Advil. You may feel some withdrawal but you can get thru it. If you're taking small amounts it won't be bad Don't let your brain lie to you and tell you you need more. You don't.

Posted by: yvo August 26, 2021, 4:41 PM
you no they say if you really need them for pain you shouldn't have a problem. The problem is ..THAT GOOD FEELING YOU GET FROM THEM. That can be a problem. Sorry

Posted by: SherryStrong May 10, 2022, 2:47 PM
I don't even know that you'll ever see this Cait (my first day here and it seems like a lot of the posts are old) and your leg has probably long healed, but I do wonder how you are today. I'm in the middle of stepping down from my addiction and tbh I did find myself saying, "Oh wow, she's only taking 4 a day, and then she went down to 3??? WITH a broken bone????" Yeah, so color me impressed. I can't wait until I'm down to 4 a day!