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|Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > Partners Addiction Worrying Me|
|Posted by: florence96 September 3, 2017, 5:34 PM|
|Me and my partner have been doing cocaine occasionally for years and it's come to the point where I don't enjoy it anymore so I won't do it. My partner has always wanted to do it more than me and a lot more than I used too. Because he knows I won't do it and he's afraid I will stop him from doing it he will start rows for me to leave the house which I know it's only to do it in peace and quiet. He picked me up one day and I could tell he has been using it, bearing in mind it was 12pm and we was going for food. He was so shifty and I asked him if he was on it and he replied no, I don't think he understands I can tell as I have done it with him so often and his face drops and he talks so slow and about rubbish! Today he dropped his children home and I believe he has been using it this evening even though he will go to bed and get up for work this morning. As he has been in all weekend I think he thinks he is missing out and instead of preparing for work on a Sunday like normal people he has to go and spend money on a bag to go to bed anyway! I'm worried as he is in so much denial and when I confront him he lies anyway so my argument is never valid to him. He believes his own lies and I'm concerned it's becoming such a problem I'm worried about his mental health which isn't the best. I don't know how to confront him and make him see differently! Help appreciated and what should I do to support him the best I can without being a nag!|
|Posted by: NyToFlorida September 4, 2017, 7:23 PM|
|hello - the toughest part is how to help, but not help so much that we make it easy for them to continue to use. As a parent of a young addicted son, we have been going thru this for a few years. He is working full time. a few years ago we couldnt understand how he could be using and still getting up every day. We are and want to be supportive loving parents, so we give a little, hoping things will click in his head and he will stop doing whatever it is that he wastes his time and money on. he did go to rehab and sober living twice in two years. 2017 is the 3rd year and we thought, he would come to terms with this on his own and get tired of having no money. We are still battling w him bc he runs out of $$ before the next pay check, each month it seems a little worse. First short $20, then short $40 then short $100. his check is enough to make it from check to check. when we talk about it, it seems to almost make sense, but then, it doesnt. he denies any drug usage. so if it isnt that, what is it. he says gas, food, cigs.... he should have enough for that. at worst situation he should just break even. and then the stories, gf needed $, when some where for the weekend, and so on. but after months and months he should make some progress at budgeting - which he doesnt.
Conclusion - it seems to be an all or nothing situation. Either we are in it and enabling or we have to cut off entirely. from years of reading this board and dealing w our son, it seems that any little bit of help and understanding we give is taken for the moment, but nothing changes the next week and so on.... wish I could help you more....