I Cant Stop
Posted: January 25, 2017, 5:39 PM

Posts: 1
Joined: January 25, 2017

I need help I'm addicted to pills all kinds of pain pills perks, Roxy's, hydrocodone, my boyfriend got me into them. We spend hundreds of dollars a week on them. If I don't have them I get sick I can't stop I have tried. I cry everyday wishing I never started them, but if I don't them I can't seem to function I have suicidal thoughts, I don't the insurance to go to a rehab . I just can't stop sometimes I wish I could die I have hidden this from my family for over a year . I feel so lost and I'm scared if it don't change I am going to to follow thru with my bad thoughts.

This post has been edited by Ineedhope on January 25, 2017, 5:41 PM
Posted: January 25, 2017, 5:56 PM

Posts: 6297
Joined: May 27, 2005

If you can't stop on your own go see a doctor. Instead of buying pills take some of the money and go get help. Yes, I know it's hard but it's what you need to do. Tell your family what is going on. They love you. They will help. Dump the boyfriend and work on you.


१२ स्तैप्पैर!


If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;
that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain

Just because the monkey's off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town

Laugh because it shows people that you have what they want and what they need: a hope in things unseen, a peace that passes understanding, and a God of miracles who also has a great sense of humor.

Posted: April 9, 2017, 10:13 AM

Posts: 86
Joined: April 16, 2014

Very sad to read your post and now you are in very critical situation. But I could not understand why you have taken those pills, you said that you take pain pills but what is your main diesease so that you taking these medicine. I just want to tell you that, you can go to an expert and describe your problem.
Posted: April 9, 2017, 12:34 PM

Posts: 1671
Joined: June 27, 2016

the suicidal thoughts are temporary. it is because of the meds. don't let it scare you. YOU are in control of you. Think of a plan and start putting it into action. If you have to do this on your own, start tapering. Take the very least you need to take, make the interval between dose longer each day - even by 15 minutes is improvement. find someone you trust to help you. it will be very difficult for a few weeks and then it will begin to be better. I am a parent of a son addicted to pain meds. he has had a rough 3 years, but I think He is trying to stay on a good path now. Think of a good eating, drinking, vitamin, supplements, exercise plan and start moving toward the good plan each day. less meds, more good things....
I see some of my son's faults are in drinking too much caffine which produces adrenaline and feels like anxiety. and suppresses appetite and round and round.... he also has a problem w boredom ... find something to alter your daily habits....
Change takes time. Don't do cold turkey unless you are at rehab. get down to small dose before jumping, but have a healthy plan in place. I know it sounds easier than it is. keep trying, every day you succeed in your plan is a good day. Educate yourself on the side effects of the drugs you take and on symptoms of withdrawal - the more you know, the less scary it is.
and do seek medical advice if and when it is needed. let us know how you are doing...

12 step is right, dump the bf. remove yourself from temptation.

This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on April 9, 2017, 12:40 PM
Posted: April 15, 2017, 12:20 AM

Posts: 19
Joined: October 29, 2016

NYTo Florida- i'm sure you mean well but it looks like your postings are from just watching your son be addicted to pain meds over the last three years. I'm sure it's been extremely difficult for you, I can't imagine my teenage son going through what I have.. BUT there is a HUGE difference watching someone you love go through addiction, than Being the ONE who's addicted. I watched a family member with his pain med addiction after a back injury for 10 years, Never understood it, thought I was helping him..by giving him money, advice, place to stay, groceries...only for him to lie, cheat and steal from me.
Now, im the addicted one, I never thought this could EVER happen to me, but it has,, I know you wanna help, I'm sure your bringing info to here you've gotten from meetings...BUT Unless you've experienced the grip these pills can have on you, you just have nap idea. I would tell my friends get sleep, take vitamins...on and on..No disrespect At all---Ive just been on both sides and I was very Naive thinking I could help someone Stop, You can't...Not with alll the Love in the world!!
Posted: April 15, 2017, 11:58 AM

Posts: 1671
Joined: June 27, 2016

mimi - your right. i am just an observer. i do have an addiction to nicotine. much smaller scale than pain meds, and does not alter the ability to drive and function.pain meds also suppress the immune system and the way that the healthy body and mind is supposed to use food and water and nutrition to replenish and rejuvenate itself. I do understand the grip pain meds have - they defy logic. which is why they are so hard for people to get off of them. people cant just walk away bc of the rebounding withdrawal sx. the pain meds produce the exact symptoms you are taking them for. it is a vicious cycle.

I thought that my comments would help to encourage people who are asking for help. But I do understand that if I have not been though it, my advice my not hold any weight. I do know that my comments are the same old advice that everyone else gives.... maybe we dont need any new advice here. it has all been said over and over.

correct again, only YOU can change it. you know what to do. the people who have been successful have gone thru the same steps. they have learned to look at their situation and adjust their behavior to succeed.

Nutrition: true that all the good food and vitamins can not cure a disease. But, if you research all of the nutrients a body needs to support itself you will find that you are very depleted. the average person does not eat enough protein, veggies, fruit to support their body 100%. In the case of people who have not been eating well, they need to double their intake.

when I was raising my kids, I needed to have enough energy to get thru the days. I went in search of nutritionalist, and alternative medicine.

It is possible that the meds have suppressed your immune system for 8 years which is why the cancer dx has been in remission. now that you are decreasing the pain meds you are back to square one - 8 yrs ago - you will need to boost your immune system or you will continue to function at a low energy level.... when your energy is low, your will power is weak. the body looks for the easy fix. the body does not intelligently know what is good or bad.

look for a nutritionalist, homeopath, naturopath, a functional medicine dr to evaluate how your body systems are doing via blood work. homeopathy and acupuncture are two medical modalities that can actually change your immune system. food, vitamins and supplements only support the immune system, to give fuel to your body. If your body cant process them, the nutrients are lost.

I give all of this advice to my son, but it is up to him to apply it to himself. maybe if I keep it up, something will change someday, which is better than turning my back and watching him fail. my son is probably at a point in his addiction where you are. half in half out. he has everything he needs to succeed, if he is taking meds, I believe it is very little and sporadic at this time. now he has to adjust his life style. he is working full time but I worry about the sleep depravation and his lack of food intake. he has been home and working for a few weeks, so I hope to see continued improvement. maybe in a year I will have a healthy, independent son - and today will be a distant memory!

change takes time, time for the body and mind to catch up to each other. when a person has been entrenched in a daily habit, it takes time to undo that habit. even if you take the drug away, the habits are still there, the body has them memorized. that is what a person has to alter. it took years to get where you are, it takes time to change it.

sorry I posted so much. bad habit of mine! Just pouring out my thoughts, maybe something will help someone. I will stop posting on the addiction board and stick to the Family board.

This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on April 15, 2017, 12:05 PM
Posted: April 15, 2017, 1:07 PM

Posts: 1671
Joined: June 27, 2016

one more thing... I have to use the same techniques as I preach. I am a person who forgets to eat. I love donuts. I smoke - but have decreased to a few a day and actually go days or a week between buying a pack. I have quit for 5 years in the past. I have to remind myself to limit the coffee cigs, and eat the yogurt and fruit, and vitamins. I notice the coffee and cigs deplete my energy and make my body feel anxious. I work all week and hardly do chores on the week nights bc I am exhausted, always attempting to get one thing done before hitting the couch. a good morning is if I get a chore in before going to work. the chores and house work are endless. the last thing I want to do on the weekend is clean and go food shopping! I have been minimally trying to keep a garden. the last physical thing I want to do is go outside and hit the dirt. but I do like having a few home grown veggies. its kind of dumb bc the veggies can be bought at the store for less $ and less time and energy put into it. but its something I push myself to do - and I'm not that good at it. my garden is a bit of an embarrassment. when I have a monster headache, like I do today, I have to talk myself into doing things. I love working at my job, but many days wish it didn't take so much effort to get there and so much time out of the day.... I am at a much smaller scale than your problems, but similar thought process. I KNOW it is not easy. every good day, is a good day.

This post has been edited by NyToFlorida on April 15, 2017, 1:16 PM
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