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My Daughter Is Out Of Control


Posts: 1764
Joined: June 27, 2016


Posted: February 26, 2020, 9:09 PM
Sallyanna, I was thinking about that too. that afterwards when asked, she said it was easier to be homeless. Of course it is easier when your dad and dog are there. the dad brought the home to the street! he had his car close by probably loaded w comfort items. she was protected from predators. probably like a camping trip! Compassion? not in the addicts mind! Awareness? Nope.

after seeing my son go to jail and rehab, he has been clean for about 10 months. It was only after about 8 months that his attitude about his situation started to change. I don't think awareness and compassion come until after a year of being clean. my son is a slow learner, so some may learn sooner.


Posts: 368
Joined: November 16, 2017


Posted: February 26, 2020, 9:55 PM
Yes, the hard, cruel fact is that in active addiction the only thing the addict focuses on is the drug. I am sure life is easier with the Dad out there with her. The Dad has a normal heart, so he is thinking the daughter will see his sacrifice, remember her old life, remember their relationship, care about herself, remember that good old dog....it just isn't the reality of addiction. She is sick and needs the drugs.

I DO hope she sees the light and sees what her Dad is trying to do, but I'm not hopeful. Addiction is a cruel disease-cunning, baffling, powerful-for real!

I see my prior self in the Dad. We see normally; the addict sees the addictive need for the drug. And, it really isn't fair to put the animal through that.


Posts: 209
Joined: November 10, 2019


Posted: February 27, 2020, 11:21 AM
Totally agree with everyone. Please tell me does anyone else feels this way? I think in many ways my daughter is afraid of life. I think she does perceive her current existence 'easier', much like the girl in the street. Stepping into the realm of real life is too hard. I don't think she thinks she has a place there, doesn't fit, finds it difficult to conform and finds it boring. Either way, she is not happy and drugs are her escape which she can do where she's at but not in the real world. This is just speculation on my part because I really don't know what she's thinking.


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Joined: March 6, 2018


Posted: February 27, 2020, 8:53 PM
Sallyana.... I feel somewhat the same about my daughter and her addictions. She's 33 years old now but she had to grow up fast, and I blame myself for that. I was in and out of abusive relationships and I've been divorced a couple of times. She had to witness the abuse I went through and when she was old enough to have her own relationship, it too was abusive. She started with drinking straight vodka. She was an indescribable horrible person while she was drinking. Then she started smoking weed. Then spice. Then there were the pills, cocaine, crack, meth. I know even now she will mix spice and sprinkle crack in with it and smoke it that way. I've caught her doing this. She's done her fair share of huffing as well. She's lost both of her children. She still has contact with one, but her other child's father has not allowed her to talk on the phone nor have any type of contact with him. I completely disagree with him doing that. I think, in my opinion, as long as my daughter is straight while on the phone with her son or is straight with supervised visitations, there is no reason what so ever to keep them from having communication. My daughter has been getting high for so long, I dont know if she would know what to do with herself if she were straight.


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Joined: November 10, 2019


Posted: February 28, 2020, 12:51 PM
TM I'm thinking the same. I think the short periods of time my daughter has been off drugs after detoxs and rehabs, she has not be able to handle it. This is why going to meetings and working recovery is so important. She never followed the discharge plans, except once, where she went to sober living. It ended up being a dysfunctional one. Its been downhill ever since, sadly. I think she's a poly addict now which makes it even more complicated and sad.

I'm sorry to read about you and your daughter's struggles. It's very heartbreaking. I'm happy we all have each other for support because it's hard....


Posts: 209
Joined: November 10, 2019


Posted: February 28, 2020, 12:56 PM
NY I'm happy your son has been clean for ten months. I hope he continues on the right path.
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