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Message Board > Recovery Diaries > Dealing With Escapism- One Day At A Time


Posted by: Hermione February 22, 2012, 6:32 AM
Hi,

This is my first diary post on this site. I am addicted to reading pageturners, the internet and tv and work. I'm not sure what term to use to categorize these, but I think they are known as distraction additions or busyness addicition. I stay up too late night after night and if i'm reading a book, I read any chance I get during the day as well. This has seriously affected my relationships, my sleep, my health and my work- think it was a major factor in losing my last two jobs. I am currently looking for a job and still have trouble getting to bed early enough to feel refreshed enough to put in a good day's job hunting. I gave up reading for 3 months a last year but took up tv instead.

I am desperate. I feel I am leaving my life unlived. I want to go to bed early, not wired up, sleep well, get up early and have a productive day.

My relationship is falling apart. I use these addictions to stop feeling my pain and discomfort, my financial fear and fear of being alone. I have started a working 12 step programme for codependence.

I have rules for myself around self care which I am hoping to use this forum to help me follow.

No 1 is to stop all form of "busyness" at 9.00 pm- that is work, tv, reading novels, using the internet or computer or taking phone calls.

It is now 9.20. I have gone overtime but will stop in 10 minutes at 9.30.

As from tomorrow my attention is to stop at 9.00 pm.


Tools I am using:
I have started listening to short relaxation mp3s on my mobile when I cant' sleep and before I go to sleep. This really helps me to relax, although I tend to worry my way through the session. I want to do mindfulness meditation but need to get a cd player or mp3 player. I will try to buy one by Sunday.

Today I stopped working (job hunting related stuff) at 4.00 and went for a walk. This was a milestone, as I am preparing for a job interview and would normally put everything else on hold.
then I went to a 12 step meeting and left early so I would get home not too late- self care again.

However, after dinner I got onto the computer for a "little while" and am still there.

It is 9.30 and I will now turn off the computer. I will do some stretches while listening to a relaxation tape.

Thanks for being there.