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Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > Can someone help me...


Posted by: Shayla13 November 19, 2021, 2:28 AM
Can someone help me...I am a nurse..I live in saskatchewan. My brother is a severe coke and alcohol user and I have been trying to save him for 7 + years now..tonight was my absolute breaking point. He has never said or did things to me like he did tonight. My parents are on the verge of having heart attacks because they are so worried about him. He won't stop. And he turns into the most cruel and evil human being when he is on his benders..I don't know what to do anymore. I know I need to disown him but I am terrified if I do he will kill himself as he threatened to kill himself multiple times today I Have tried to get him into detox and rehab but he won't go. He is going to die. He is my only sibling and I know if he dies my parents are not far behind him. I am so mentally exhausted. I can't focus on my job as a nurse because I am trying to save him every single day. I just need to talk to someone who can understand how f***ing hard this is. My family and friends don't get it. They don't get how bad this is. He is going to die. And I can't help him. Please..

Posted by: Sallyann November 20, 2021, 2:34 AM
Hi Shayla13 and welcome. Yes, it is very hard to watch and try to help a love one in active addiction. Its heartbreaking, frustrating, and exhausting. Their rock bottom gets lower and lower and the addiction gets worse and worse. It takes over and more of their life gets taken away. Its very irrational and cruel.

It sounds like you have done all you can to love and help your brother. He needs professional help and he doesn't want to go. An intervention may be an option to explore to get him to go IDK. I do know (from experience sadly), they are very resourceful and manipulative and will often exploit family, friends, and situations to their advantage. It's important to take good care of yourself because it's common for love ones to get lost. Don't let his addiction take your life too.

He's very fortunate to have you as a sister. I understand the pain you feel. It's very sad.

Posted by: babylove December 22, 2021, 12:53 PM
Other then the one time when he just mentioning he's gonna kill himself, do you know of a time when he actually did try to kill himself ? Like in not trying to say he's bluffing or anything. But coming from an addict, sometimes we say things that are no where near the truth just so we can get pity from you or get things done pretty much our way. Sorry if I'm being rude. I don't mean to be. If you need anything else then please let me know.

Posted by: jeffreyrunner January 6, 2022, 11:54 AM
Shayla13,

So sorry very you.
My suggestion would be to get a professional person to help with an intervention and guidance.
Your brother must want help, and try to get everyone ( family ) to agree on boundaries.

jeffrey

Posted by: just sum guy January 18, 2022, 2:17 PM
I may just be sum guy however i suggest tellin him from your hart how you feel and that your thinking you will lose him. pour your hart on him.