Masturbation
helpmeplease
Posted: January 14, 2009, 2:08 AM







i cannot stop masturbating and it is driving me nuts, i want to be free of it, it makes me feel guilty and ashamed and dirty and whilst i enjoy it at the time i cannot stop the cylce, i may go a few days maybe even a month but then its back again.. anyone have any clues as to how i can stop, i deeply desire to stop this.
Iam 49 and have been doing it off an don since i was 17...
I am married and even though not sexually happy i dont wnat to leave my wife.
i have tow adult kids and I just wnat this out of my life once and for all PLEASE HELP ME...anyone ?
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helpmeplease
Posted: January 19, 2009, 9:00 PM







isnt there anyoen who has any words of advice or help?
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helpmeplease
Posted: January 20, 2009, 10:34 PM







judging by the amount of peopel viewing my plea...i reckon i am not th eonly one struggling with this habit or addiction. why dont we try and help each other?
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Posted: January 20, 2009, 11:44 PM


Posts: 479
Joined: September 20, 2008



Why do you think its dirty and wrong? Its a totally natural thing to do in my opinion. What has you so upset? I think most people do it on a pretty regular basis. You seem very distraught for a very normal act. As far as another "addict" coming along to help...I just don't see the harm in your behavior. Who do you think your hurting?

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I am the poster formerly known as angela99
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helpmeplease
Posted: January 28, 2009, 1:06 AM







i find it difficult for it goes agaisnt what i really value and hold as true.
i find that i get this urge and then I'm gone.. I hate it, something triggers me, and then i dont stop until i have acted this thing out for myself i know its not hurting anyone else, exceptthose who are involved in performing the porn stuff taht allures me, but it is hurting me, i wnat to stop and then i dont want to...can anyone help me shed some light oin my issue? even from another addiction point of view ?
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Posted: January 28, 2009, 2:10 AM


Posts: 479
Joined: September 20, 2008



As I said in my other post, what kind of answers are you looking for? You feel bad for people in porn? That is their choice to seek out a career in that industry. Its up to you if you want to watch stuff like that or not? If you are serious about having a problem go to a sex anonymous meeting or something similar. There is nothing anyone here can do for you. This is a message board. Your the one that needs to make the changes in your day to day life. I hope you find what you are looking for?

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I am the poster formerly known as angela99
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Posted: January 28, 2009, 12:33 PM


Posts: 1482
Joined: March 6, 2005



I don't believe that no one on this board can help you, addiction is addiction and the 12 step program can apply as well. There are people who get into trouble with porn and masturbation and it can and does ruin marriages. It does sound as if you are addicted and can not stop what you are doing. are you in the states? there are online resources also for sex addicts. masturbation would fall into that category. Please continue to post and if you want to stop there are resources. No one has really answered this post as I suspect they may believe that it is a joke or you are not serious.
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helpmeplease
Posted: January 28, 2009, 5:25 PM







no way is this a joke.. I am having real trouble and embarrassed to go anywhere for help if i could get online help that woudl be awesome. I am for real I hate this thing which wont let go of me, its like when the thought comes I just cant stop it ..and after, I hate myself and YES i do feel dirty and horrible and cheap and I just dont wnat that anymore..I am not in the states am in Australia... and it does seem like no-one wanst to help and teh comments that i have had so far havent really helped, i dont need someone to tell me its ok... coz i dont feel like it is.
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Posted: January 28, 2009, 7:40 PM


Posts: 1482
Joined: March 6, 2005



try this website www.sexaa.org, look thru the whole website before you say it is not for you ok?
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help2
Posted: February 1, 2009, 5:05 AM







Hi, I think I have this addiction too, I frequently masturbate more than once a day and often feel I can't hep my self. I have realised this is a problem and I am trying to sort it out, I am thinking of going to counselling and I have found this site that has helped me realise I am not alone.

Have a look at this - http://www.sexualcontrol.com/index.php

It might help, you can download 48 chapters of his book, although he does not go into detail on how to stop it has helped me think about my actions.

I am trying to get myself sorted out but I am finding it hard, Little steps seem to be the way. I hope you find help, I'll check back in to see how you are getting on mate... Don't despair your not alone.

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Posted: February 18, 2009, 8:06 PM


Posts: 1901
Joined: December 25, 2007



To "helpmeplease" - It sounds like you have a porn addiction.

This post has been edited by lightacandle on February 18, 2009, 8:07 PM

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For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

I am a recovering codependent, and mother of a recently relapsed drug and alcohol addicted (20 year addiction) adult daughter.

Thinking we are in control of anything or anyone else but ourselves is an illusion. And actually we have very little control over what happens to us as well. What will happen will happen. So let go & let God. This is my path to serenity. What happens if we just let go of what we "think" we are controlling? The world keeps on turning and life goes on. I trust that the Lord Jesus will bring me through what He brings me to.

Take what you need & leave the rest.

I sometimes have bad days. That's ok, I used to have bad years.

The Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Jesus loves us.

LAFFStore
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Posted: February 19, 2009, 5:27 PM


Posts: 829
Joined: January 26, 2008



Helpmeplease: I am sorry you feel that no one is helping you or understanding your addiction. Although I do not struggle with your addicition, I am an alcoholic & recovering bulimic. Though our addictions manifest differently, I understand behaviors that turn into an addiction and feeling like crap because the behaviors are dominating ones world.

Try looking online for any sites on porn addiction. If you are feeling guilty from the religious stand-point, your creed may offer some 12 step meetings for porn. At least the predominant religion in my area offers 12 step meetings for porn, alcohol, drugs, and any other addictions.

Wishing you some peace.

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In spirit,
Zipper

The image in a mirror doesn't always reflect the condition of a soul - LN
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trytohelp
Posted: March 25, 2009, 5:10 AM







there have been no posts in here for awhile, so this may be fruitless.....but if your masturbation is against what you believe etc. maybe you should reevaluate what you believe. masturbation is 100 percent natural, even if you do it more than once a day. As for porn....as long as you are not looking at child porn, and everyone is of legal age of consent, there is no harm there either.

i am a female, who enjoys porn, masturbation, and has an active sex life with her partner....do what makes you feel happy when it comes to this, as long as it is not interfering with your life on a larger scale. If you are missing appointments, neglecting your loved ones etc......if you are locked in your room 24/7 you may have a problem, but from what you have posted i would say you are "normal".

;)
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One who knows
Posted: April 3, 2009, 4:39 AM







there is something that really is a problem for most people, I have the same problem, though I do not look at porn, I truly dispise the stuff. But with the masturbation it is a true problem that you need to work out that I need to work out with ourselves, and the others around us. You said that you think that it is hurting no one but yourself, ok so before I go on I am going to tell you that I am doing what I am telling you to do as I am typing it out.

first lets think about who this is really hurting, true you are just one of the many that are. Some others can be your wife your children, those that are near and dear to your heart. they may or may not know what it is that you are doing but deep down inside they do know that you are being hurt in some way even if it is yourself that is doing the hurting.

Second talk to them, you said that you do not want your marrige hurt by this and well as for me I do not have that chance to have a family or really a spose for that matter but I do know that some day I will, and I truly comend you for wanting to keep that fire burning in your relationship. that will be the key in getting through is her, infact she is going to be the key for you. someone that you can turn to and talk to whenever you feel that you need to go and, well do it.

Third cut out all that is there that will pull your thoughts to going and doing your thing, find things to replace it and make them good wholesome things, you really can replace smokeing with drinking, and it is the same here, you can not replace looking at porn for something that may seem good but in the long run will end up having the same effect, if you need to get rid of the internet, or just put on some parental controls have someone ealse set the password so that you can't change any of the settings do anything to stop it before it begins.

please know that it is going to take some time and a lot of change for all of us that have this addiction but with the help of one another we can get things to work out the way that we want it too. tell ya what let me know what I can do for ya and I can say that I relly think that we can get through this together. now I am not one to really give out my e-mail to really anyone so if you fell that you need to talk to someone about anything just put a note here and I will write you back. Good luck to all of us!
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Posted: April 3, 2009, 5:46 AM


Posts: 1
Joined: April 3, 2009



hi there.

I feel i am in the same boat at helpmeplease.

for weeks i can go without the porn and masturbation, and then something happens and i'm back on the wheel.

do you think that pron and masturbating are only a way of escaping a problem.

face facts, today its so easy to download thousands of pictures of naked girls etc. i have spent the last few days downloading several thousand pics.

then i will do my thing until my wife comes home. then if she's interested then i am not because i have been helping myself the whole day, which puts stress on our marriage.

if i dont get the opportunity then its fine. am i an addict or is this normal ?
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One who knows
Posted: April 17, 2009, 3:24 PM







from what I have seen, yes all of it comes from unwanted stress that is somewhere in your life, and that could include that of trying to hide what you are doing. your solution I would think for a start could be to find a way to releve that extra stress, and also with the porn. get some type of block on it so that even if you do whant to look at it you can't or it makes it harder to do. the best way to stop a problem like this is to just avoid the sorce of it. Avoiding the porn and the masturbation will greatly improve your relationship with you wife and in the long run help you improve your mental and physical health.
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Posted: August 30, 2009, 4:00 AM


Posts: 3
Joined: August 30, 2009



Lynn77 you need to be more careful with the advice you give. It doesn't matter why the poster wants to stop his problem. We shouldn't question him. It doesn't matter what he feels addicted to, even if it was an addiction to eating vegetables! If he wants help to stop then we need to sympathize and offer help.

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GreenSunshine
Posted: September 30, 2009, 4:30 AM







I definitely in the same thought with ‘Will Suceed’ towards ‘Lynn77’. I think a little understanding instead of dismissing the person would be more beneficial. I, for one, definitely don’t see of this is ‘a normal act’. And I will explain.

No porn addicts ever care anything the people performing in porn – they can eat vegemite and I am sure ‘helpmeplease’, like other sex addicts, couldn’t careless. But it’s really the harm the sex addicts feel, see and know they are doing to themselves.

The harm could be: 1)wasting so much of their own time on porn, not to mention the money cost; 2)destroying their own values by participating in something that not only isn’t constructive in their lives but destroying/demeaning their real sex lives, especially to those important people in their lives; and, I think the most important of all, 3) the bad stigmas attached to having such regular habits – you think about it, nobody (black, white, blue or religious or not) ever wants to admit privately or publicly that they like masturbating with porn.

And yes, everyone here and elsewhere can help ‘helpmeplease’, including ‘Lynn77’! Contrary to ‘Lynn77’s comment ‘There is nothing anyone here can do for you’, everyone, including ‘Lynn77’, is already helping ‘helpmeplease’ by posting their views.
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James
Posted: July 21, 2010, 3:52 PM







I have been addicted to lust, porn, sex and other variations for 25 years. I finally found help through Sexaholics Anonymous www.sa.org.

I have been free from acting out for over a year. Please talk to someone in SA if you really want to stop.
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DAVEY
Posted: July 26, 2010, 6:01 PM







*post removed by moderator*
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