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|Message Board > Marijuana > Can I Do It Once A Week?|
|Posted by: Momo January 28, 2021, 12:47 AM|
|Here's my question. Can someone gets high once a week and be sober through the whole week? I did it last week and it was only by chance that I found a little but. But if I want it this weekend it means I have to purchase some. But purchasing means I get a whole bag and knowing myself I wont be able to fight the temptation to just use some on Friday night and keep the rest for next weekend so I'll get high the whole week and after that stopping would be a long agonizing process. I don't wanna go through That.|
|Posted by: Momo January 28, 2021, 4:32 PM|
|So maybe it's just tomorrow and I'm going to be free then. I said no to the cravings didnt try to call anyone. I decided that I can have fun without it. I can overeat and ruin my sleep routine without it. I'll find passion again for sth legit. I thought I need love but thats not the case either. Maybe being fungal is a good thing. I can't spend money for sth that can turn into a monster for me,then devour all my money time energy and motivation. I need to take care of myself.|
|Posted by: Momo January 29, 2021, 5:06 AM|
|Sorry for grammatical errors, English is not my first language. I'm in my pms. Everything is so tense and gloomy. I didn't want to watch the full moon either. I must admit I am waiting fora random call or text from someone who smokes and then I can borrow as much as a joint. I want it but I hope it doesn't happen.|
|Posted by: Momo January 29, 2021, 4:23 PM|
|Okay I'm updating my message. I didn't get high and I knew I was not going to be able to handle it anyway. Let's be honest. I was even having dreadful thoughts last time I thought I was a total loser and disappointment to my parents. It's funny how marijuanna induces these thoughts in my head and I still crave it. I went for a walk in the sun and music was as good as when I'm high and I was able to spend time with my family without worrying that they find about it. So this once a week is not for me. I'm sure.|
|Posted by: slotsmona January 31, 2021, 7:54 AM|
|Hey! Friend, I sympathize, I understand how difficult it can be, don't blame yourself. You are trying to overcome yourself and this is already worthy of praise|
|Posted by: Momo January 31, 2021, 7:00 PM|
|Thanks for your kind words. I'm glad I didn't relapse cause a little bit of it can make all the cravings come back. I just pray and made list of things to do next time I felt like I am losing control.|
|Posted by: Momo February 7, 2021, 4:50 PM|
|Update: so I got 3grams and got high couple of times. But for once in my life I have it and just don't wanna do it. It's quite simple. If you need weed to enjoy sth that s*** sucks and you can't avoid pain there's pain in discipline and pain in regret. I think I know thw s*** I choose.|
|Posted by: larrylive February 11, 2021, 6:32 PM|
|I'm listen....and learning.
|Posted by: Momo February 12, 2021, 3:07 PM|
I admit that this was a fkin relapse.
|Posted by: Momo February 17, 2021, 1:03 AM|
|I remember the last time I was trying to get back on recovery track. It was September. Feverish and sweaty days where all my thoughts were leading me to dark cold places. I woke up in the morning and I realized that I have no purpose but to get the good s*** out of my system. I'll be at the same square where I started this journey.
I had a chance to meet a special man that I admired and it's so difficult to try to meet someone new. I don't have the emotional strength of getting into a relationship cause I know there will be heart breaking moments and I'm not that tough. But I can't even talk to him, I'm just so scared. My heart starts beating so fast and I know if I let this man go I'll miss him forever. I have this feeling I've been borrowing happiness from future and I'm not even mature enough to talk to anyone. I need to find meaning.
|Posted by: Momo February 17, 2021, 2:54 PM|
|I think I'm back on track. Worked out and drank lots of water. My sleep and appetite is ok, but there's only one explanation for the feeling I had, I was feeling a bit down. My brain needs to get used to natural dopamine again. My heart beat is like crazy. I think relationship and stuff is a no no for now, 'cause its stressful and it takes responsibility to make it work and I know I'm not ready for. Can't believe this s***. The main reason I relapsed was this random dude with whom I thought I could be involved and in the course of few hours I remembered all my reasons for not getting into relationships. I got so lonely I was pretending to be ready for that s*** first date pretty normal and even fun. I just don't know why I was waiting for sth more and it ruined my mood the whole fckin week. I was in bed and it felt like withdrawal symptoms. It was crazy.|
|Posted by: Momo March 12, 2021, 9:01 AM|
|Still on recovery path. No hesitation no doubts. I'm so grateful & feel free and strong. I pray for all you guys. I pray for my strength too.|
|Posted by: Momo March 18, 2021, 3:33 PM|
|It's such a lonely weekend and it's mine. So I pushed all toxic friends away and Im waiting for spring with a story collection by Raymond Carver. But it's so sad and lonely. I think I know the feeling. I think I am going to be better tomorrow. I ate a lot. Just because. I don't crave weed or even alcohol. You may think its a success. If you told me one day I would be without temptations I would be so excited. Now I'm like yeah now you just get to the point where you were supposed to be 5,6 years ago. Doesn't mean I wasted my life. But yeah I didn't make the best choice and there isn't many memories I'm comfortable to keep.|
|Posted by: Momo March 21, 2021, 4:41 PM|
|Better day than yesterday. I hope and pray every day that this time its for real.|
|Posted by: Momo March 24, 2021, 4:59 PM|
|Maybe tonight when I'm feeling down and I don't take sleeping pills or think of numbing the pain or distract myself maybe here I know that I am free...yeah maybe baby.|
|Posted by: larrylive April 27, 2021, 10:44 AM|
sorry I have not been around, so many forums and so little time in my life.
Hope all is well with you and your journey.
|Posted by: Momo May 7, 2021, 5:53 PM|
I hope you're doing great. I'm fine and still on recovery path I think I have more control over my habits and my life in general. My mom is very happy that I'm leading a healthy lifestyle. I haven't found a full-time job but still make a little money by doing translation and editing. I hope I make more progress and work harder and stay in control of my life.
|Posted by: Momo June 8, 2021, 4:02 PM|
|OmG you guys,
So I had cravings and didn't find any way to get high and I managed to do without it. I recalled the anxiety and insatiable hunger it gave me and decided I don't need huge joy and huge sadness afterwards . I'm just fine.
|Posted by: Momo July 25, 2021, 3:40 PM|
|I'm high since 25th of june.|
|Posted by: Momo July 27, 2021, 1:34 PM|
|So I totally relapsed. I'm not sure if I can or want to get it right any time soon. I'm lonely as hell and live in one of the worst countries that exist I think I deserve a happy time with myself.|
|Posted by: Momo July 28, 2021, 4:41 PM|
|So I'm totally back on track I got some relaxing and sleeping pills to take me through first couple of days and I need to make up for not exercising enough not learning or working enough. Should keep myself busy. You know what I cant surrender to green b**** she's cute and fun but will leave me in a total mess. She did horrible things to my throat and breathing.today was day one i took a hit and turned it out immediately. I still have some s*** left which isn't even worth smoking. Goodnight moderator.my only reader.|