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Posted: January 5, 2019, 3:33 AM
Adult alkies or addicts that never went to rehab or tried a program. Is that common? How long do they have? Do they tend to skip the messed up life part and go right into catastrophic health issues? Is their survival rate any worse or better?
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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: January 5, 2019, 4:16 AM
Hi same game I don't think they miss the 'messed up life' part because they are living it everyday. My guess is it would shorten their life span by approx 15 yrs on average you can probably Google it. Some go into liver failure, some develop some type of cancer, some fatal falls, car accidents, increased risk for heart attacks and stokes, etc...
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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: January 5, 2019, 4:21 AM
According to a 12.5 year study, it shortens lifespan on an average of 7.6 years
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Posted: January 5, 2019, 1:40 PM
Thanks for the numbers.
He already had some 'small' strokes & has bp issues among other things. About 4 years ago doctors told him the numbers for patients with his issues/numbers is a life span under 5 years. Now I think part of that was to put the fear of god into him. Also he is a drama queen always seeking sympathy. That being said is it common for a long term alkie or addict to go without a program or rehab of anykind? Here he's suffered the consequence including duis and associated "program" but was never forced into rehab or told to take a program. I know alkies worse than him that have been to rehab and tried programs but I will say they are much more realistic & practical about life. The alkie here is not. This post has been edited by samegame on January 5, 2019, 1:54 PM | ||
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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: January 5, 2019, 8:33 PM
Same game what is your relation to this guy?
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Posted: January 6, 2019, 12:58 PM
He's family. For confidentiality and/or security I can't give precise relationship. He and I know enough people with issues they might stumble across this board or a post in a internet search.
He's been able to put on a show or kiss butt with key family. Anyone who any influence over him are now deceased or completely out of the picture. One thing everyone noticed is keeps on breaking up with the smarter career women who didn't tolerate his poop. He always must be the alpha. Ever since he started dating hanging with his present partner he went from excessive binge drinking to heavy daily drinking. What that says about her I don't know other than she is a HUGE enabler literally running out to door to get him alcohol if not other 'things'. | ||
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Posts: 478
Joined: November 9, 2018
Posted: January 7, 2019, 8:56 AM
Samegame I had my friend (with alcohol addiction) went to rehab and got sober and still is today. I put her story on the sight. Her motivation was she almost died from alcohol poisoning and she had no where to live because her brother wouldn't let her live with him anymore. She was 40 when she left for rehad. She has been living 15 years in sobriety today. My opinion is without rehabilitation it's very difficult for anyone with an addiction to get sober. I think the people who do are highly motivated and really want to turn their lives around
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Posted: January 7, 2019, 11:15 AM
Along with no rehab I think a lot of family and friends don't want to acknowledge an issue. This prolongs, facilitates or enables the alkie. In away unless the alkie or addict is totally miserable including no sanctuary or safe spaces among family & friends they will continue. I'm just amazed how long this can go on.
It's good to hear someone as an adult was able to get into rehab and stay sober for years but here we're over a half century with this one and no rehab with excessive drinking/partying since their teens, that's about 15 years sober and 35 years under the influence. I just wonder how common that is-long time alkie or addict never having gone to rehab. One would figure just onetime detoxing the body would be just as critical as learning how to cope. The cumulative effects have to catch up at one point. Should add having observed several workplace alkies for years they eventually got to the point they needed rehab after losing their job, marriage, home etc. Here as long as he has money he doesn't give a poop. He's not married and rents apts asking to sleep on other's couches and beds if something happens. I also known alkies who eventually added other drugs which tanked them really fast. This post has been edited by samegame on January 7, 2019, 11:20 AM | ||
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Posted: January 7, 2019, 3:21 PM
Another way to push this question is how many years or decades before an alkie/addict hits a bottom. Even after a dui in their 40s was unable to alter their behavior.
It's unbelievable setting aside some unnecessary safe spaces and enabling I find it hard to believe they haven't found anything that motivates them for change. But as noted do it long enough 'normal' is hard to change. | ||
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Joined: December 30, 2018
Posted: January 7, 2019, 11:19 PM
Same game maybe they don't want change, to them it's normal behaviour, others know and see different, watched a doco last night people who where obese could never lose weight, doctor said its a disease, but some ended up losing some weight, reality-- they have to want to ,ale big lifestyle changes, think some it's to hard to challenge that, hard I know just my thoughts
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Posted: January 8, 2019, 11:33 AM
I get they don't want to change but one would figure they would experience a life changing event or simply get tired of many of the effects and issues associated with their drinking and drugging.
What also puzzles me here is the crew he started out with and probably drank and drugged a little more moved on to highly successful careers, family, house, dog etc. They had the same life changing/bottom events. Including totaling cars, duis, losing relationships or simply prioritizing correctly like taking a job or promotion that ment they can't drink/drug the same way they used to, he turned down jobs, promotions, transfers etc that would saved that job & career saying he didn't want to give up his recreational life/friends most of which aren't there anymore, it's a new much younger crew. When people younger than you are going home to their own home instead of their parents, a friends, girlfriend etc or they can afford a taxi or uber and you are fretting who will come and pick up I would get tired of that in days. The alkie here has exploded, I mean gone off like a bomb because we wouldn't drive him to a bar after a day of carting him around for errands already racking up around 30 miles and lots of time. He might even like the manipulation/con game but constant & long periods without money would make me think about $20-30 day drinking habit. Or constantly having people view me differently. I would just tire of it all but he seems to get just enough validation and facilitation to carry on. | ||
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Posted: January 8, 2019, 11:51 PM
Some people never stop. I had a good friend in high school that had a middle class house, nice family, good friends. She never stopped, eventually started doing crack and died really young. She was very funny & bubbly, too. I never could understand it.
I have known people like you describe. It is like they get stuck as a teen, and still see themselves at that age. Some people never hit their bottom or see things as a bottom. | ||
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Posts: 132
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Posted: January 9, 2019, 2:44 AM
Parenting that's intresting your comment, I have read before that the age you start using, if started using young, there brain dosent develop, and they tend to still have the immature tendencies, just a thought
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Posts: 478
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Posted: January 9, 2019, 8:20 AM
I have read/heard that too P2 and sad eyes. I know when I look at where my daughter is in life compared to others her same age (non addicts) she is way behind. Addiction stunts everything. The good news is, if they can become sober and live in sobriety as a functioning adult, they can catch up. The amount of catch up depends on the length of time they have been using.
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Posted: January 9, 2019, 11:55 AM
Parenting, I saw a workplace alkie delve into hard drugs after years if not decades of drinking. Lost track of them after they got fired for the third time.
They were sort of functional drinking prior with employees & management ignoring or covering for them. Once the hard drugs started they went from sloppy to flatout missing stuff or screwing up big time . The alkie here has dabbled with many other drugs. What he writes off as stress but related issues are probably from adding steroids, cocaine, adderal, sports drinks and numerous other drugs prescribed or not. No family history of what he is experiencing and they had 'stress'. | ||
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Joined: December 26, 2018
Posted: January 9, 2019, 1:55 PM
Parenting2 - I agree with you that some people never hit their bottom. One of the difficult things about being the parent of an addict is the reality that “rock bottom” may be six feet under, though I do agree that a) only the addict can decide they want to change, and b) being left to deal with the consequences of their choices can kick start their decision to change. It doesn’t always work, but enabling NEVER does.
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