| post replypost new topic |
|
Posted: October 11, 2017, 4:40 PM
This is my third day of suboxone taper..was on 4mg/day for approx. 4 years. My doctor was so happy and proud when I told him " Id like to stay on this amount forever"...... BTW , this is my first time getting off of suboxone, I have kicked others in the past.
After hair loss, tooth damage, migrains, most importantly- obgyn/urologists/and GP docs who don't "want to work with suboxone 'people' ", I have decided to get off of this ride. I was not kicked off, I jumped and am tapering with what I have left. I was paying my sub doc lotta money/cash only so he could throw some scripts at me, then say leave, shake my husbs hand and done. Never more than 5 mins. I never cheated, my UAs always good. He shakes my husbands hand while refusing to shake mine, and every time, I take this treatment because I NEED THOSE STRIPS. How is this different from the streets? I feel very dumb and lost as I seem easy prey to doctors who blur the lines from dope dealer to doctor. That line should not ever be fuzzy at all. Once he called another person in the waiting room a "stupid Fing Bit.." and I thought..." buying heroin off of the streets is less humiliating than this". My previous experience at the methadone clinic, very similar. I feel as though I am trapped in this program. As an aging junkie ( 41 ) I can say from experience that, to quote an intelligent comment from above " this disease doesn't discriminate, but people do". And with this suboxone game from 4 years and 3 doctors of experience.... I had only one ethical doctor who tapered me off after the first month. And I loved him. He was like a loving grandpa and made me WANT to do better. I had to move because of a job and in this state they tell you it is a "medicine that my brain will need forever"......maybe this is true? But I simply can not trade my self respect for this JUNK that I "need' anymore. Seeing the suboxone dr. is often like dealing with a high school bully. Just smile and agree and apologize for being a junkie. I am so tired. I feel like I have more to offer. But maybe I'm fooling myself. I don't know everything I just know I will be relieved when this is done. When I told him I wanted to taper he canceled future appt ( thank God, but he offered no advice, or trazadone for sleep....the ususal staple detox meds). Worth it, to gain back some self respect. The lady in the waiting room was not a "stupid b****". She was a girl half my age terrified to become sober yet willing and ready and did not deserve to be treated like that. Neither do I. I hope she can get better. I hope we can all get better. Is there a 1 800 line or chat place ( private, not facebook) for when one is in serious w/d and just needs to talk at 3am ? I'm in for a bit of a bumpy ride. I need to do this. Thanks to everyone on this post for sharing such hard things. I know I have kept this part of my life very private only doctors and my husband know, .....and it has been very disabling when it comes to discrimination from other people/doctors against suboxone ( or, the patients who take it). It's even an issue at the airport and have fun trying to travel to Canada on Suboxone if you have a months worth in your purse. I got denied. | ||
|
Posted: November 1, 2017, 5:55 PM
Just wanted to say that I had a very similar experience with my doc and was made to feel inferior and belittled. I am a very smart person and just made a mistake. But by me coming there and staying clean, showing that I want to get help and am committed to staying sober, should prove that we are not "junkies". I refuse to call myself that and refuse to call anyone dealing with addiction of any kind a "junkie". I'm a chemical engineer, I know what heroin did to my brain but I still chose to do it. Long story short, I am also tapering off of suboxone. My doctor prescribed me 2 (12mg) a day and now I'm at 2 (0.5 mg) a day. I tapered within two months but it can still be done. I'm not sure about anyone else, but my boyfriend and I acquired Kratom and it helps so much. There are diff strains for sleeping/relaxation, and some for energy. I'm not much of a holistic or natural person at all, but that, along with xanax (to which I was already prescribed), and weed, I have had no issues sleeping and very minor w/d symptoms. Really, only have issues with motivation and focus which actually may have nothing to do with tapering from subs at all. But good luck and you absolutely do NOT have to be on it forever. Sounds like you're on the right path.
| ||
|
| post replypost new topic |