Goodbye N+
Posted: February 11, 2016, 4:49 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



I feel like im off my head atm...im determined to kick this s***, even if its not this time!! Im day 3 today and i managed a day of work...didnt think i could do that....when i got home i slept on the lounge for an hour...now to do it all again tomoz....im hoping that having big days and being exhausted will help with my sleep tonight...because i cant face tomorrow on no sleep...it will be the worst...anyway all the usual symptoms mostly no energy, flat and tired..trots are starting and my appetite isnt big....just trying to keep my head above water atm...
  Top
Posted: February 12, 2016, 6:18 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Work today was a struggle! I have no idea how im going to work tomorrow! One thing that will see me through will be the three days off i have...hopefully this terrible lethargy feeling has somewhat gone or at least died right down! I just feel like im dragging myself round at the moment...its sheer bloody hell...i still have the runs and wrestles leg syndrome is a shoocker! I pray that this all fades quickly...i know i still have at least a week 2 at most of hardcore hell to endure! So heres to another clean day!!!
  Top
Posted: February 13, 2016, 4:41 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



This time round is a struggle...its day 5 today and i can barely move around! Its like my life force has been sucked away, i didnt manage to stay at work yesterday as i just wasnt coping...i hope this passes quickly...all i want to do is bloody sit...Insomnia is also a pain..and restless legs...i just want to sleep at night! Im not feeling like pills which is a plus! I have the runs and not a big appetite...i know i need to eat good food and drink lots of water, but its a struggle!!! I have anxiety like never before, i dont want to take my tablets though, they make me sluggish aswell! For now i will take ot one day at a time!
  Top
Posted: February 15, 2016, 6:40 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



End of day 6 today...Still zero motivation and energy! I still feel like im dragging around an elephant. Insomnia is still a costant companion, i think to myself that i dont want to feel like this...just have pills, then u will be rite...but no way...ive come so far...surely i wont feel like this forever....im getting an appetite back though..ive been eating reasonably ok...im trying to eat mainly fresh foods but im craving sugary sweet stuff all the time!!! Im off to bed now..i hope i get some much needed sleep!!!
  Top
Posted: February 18, 2016, 4:31 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



End of day 9 clean of N+. Im still feeling on the unmotivated side...i have been to work the past 2 days and it seems to be helping, although i feel very tired once i stop work and sit! All the other wds seem to be fading...i dont have the runs as much, i seem to be getting to sleep fairly easily, but if woken through the night its hard to get back to sleep! My appetite is back three fold...i just want to eat!!! Trying to.pace myself though as i have lost a fair bit of weigh from the pills, i dont want to put it back on in a hurry...i hope to get thru the next few days comfortably...hubby will be home tonught so i have been looking forward to it all day...something to focus on i suppose...anyway time to organise the kids...
  Top
Posted: February 19, 2016, 6:51 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Im still feeling very flat! Im no where near as motivated as i would really like/need to be! I have been feeling dizzy lately too, i get very bad head spins when i stand up...and i dont think im getting up to quick! I have a huge appetite at the moment... (kinda scary)..sleep is still the same, ok to drift off but if woken then struggle to get back to sleep!! No other wds are around though..which im greatful for...i also have no desire to have pills....
  Top
Posted: February 27, 2016, 4:23 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Finally starting to feel semi human, end of day 18!
Not really sure what drives or pushes me to keep going, all i know is i cant take any steps backwards, its had to be forward from here!
I have had many a day where all i have wanted was to hit the chemists, hell im having those thoughts now...
But i ask myself
Is it worth a 5 minute high?
Is it worth a sickly.feeling.aftewards?
Is it worth the risk of not being able to stop at just 1 box?
Is it worth it to just go thru sheer hell again?
My answer is NO to all of these.
Plus its not worth it to myself...ive worked hard to get here and im not going back...
  Top
Posted: October 11, 2016, 5:07 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



It's been 16months since I last wrote here and I'm not writing good news! It's been 16 months of pills pills and pills. But as it's getting a lot harder here in Australia to buy them I've decided now it's the best time to quit. I'm about 60 hours clean about 2 and a half days... it's terrible, but I knew it would be. I just have to ride it out. It will take me roughly 2 weeks to feel semi normal, man I've got a long way to go! It's my own stupid fault.. I started taking mirtazapine before kicking it this time to help with the anxiety, low moments and sleep. Hopefully it helps. I took it the last few times right as I was stopping and it hadn't had a chance to work properly..made my life hell... anyway all the usual are here sluggish, no appetite, gastro, shakes, just want to sit. Howell here we go again.
  Top
Posted: January 31, 2017, 6:03 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Back again! Day 3 no nurophen+
It's so hard now getting here in Australia! Soon it will be prescription only, I have no choice but to stop! I have gotten a new job which I start next week, I need to be focused and semi normal! I'm on holidays at the moment, we have come away, I decided to stop taking them while I'm away! Mainly because I'm just sitting by the pool or seimming a lot! I don't have to do to much, which many of you know, when withdrawing doing things is almost impossible for the first week! Well at least for me.., I'm not feeling to bad though, so here's hoping I get thru this.
There are only 3 places I can get pills and they are all getting pretty sus, so I'm hoping this is the end for me
  Top
Posted: December 26, 2017, 8:21 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



It’s been almost 3 years since my very first post! And in those 3 years I have still failed to quit N+ but alas, the end is in sight! In Australia on the 1st of Feb N+ goes prescription only!! Finally about bloody time- I think this is the only thing that’s gunna save me! It’s 2 days after Xmas, my kids are away and I’m in full blown withdrawal mode!! Day 3, it’s hard as hell! I knew it would be. But it’s now or never!! I have lost so much because
Of these god damn pills and because I’m weak- my marriage is at the end of the tether, my husband is sick of me always being tired and wanting to sleep! I can’t tell him my secret- we have separated twice already! He is a great man, does everything for me and I treat him like s*** because I’m numb!! Fingers x I get over the line this time, because of I don’t I have no idea what will happen to me!
  Top
Posted: December 29, 2017, 4:44 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Day 6, lots of symptoms- I’m trying to eat well and drink lots of water! Kids come home today, but I’m moving around reasonably well so that’s a plus!! I feel heavy in the chest still! Sleep is ok I doze off after a while but I’m waking up very early 5.30 am!! I have had a few Valium to help get thru the first few nights but didn’t have any last night and sleep was ok!! Here’s hoping the worst of it is over, I certainly don’t expect to stop taking pills after 5 years and just feel fabulous, I know that’s not how it works!!
  Top
Posted: January 3, 2018, 6:04 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Managing to get through the days with just a few symptoms. Still have slight gastro! Feel a little heavy in the chest, and insomnia is hanging around a little!! I toss and turn for about an hour then I doze off, if I’m woken it’s hard to get back to sleep! I have a few Valium but prefer not to use them!! It’s the end of day 10- CRAVINGS are bad, although in 4 weeks it goes to script only- I have to do this I have no choice- and I know that taking pills now, means feeling like s*** a lover again for another week- I don’t want that at all!! So I just take it day by day for now!! Hopefully the days get easier the longer I’m clean!!
  Top
Posted: January 5, 2018, 5:48 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



Day 13 today!! Feel like I’m back at the start- no energy, zero motivation! I’m just so flat!! The past few days have seen me feeling pretty good, hopefully this feeling passes and I pick up pretty soon! It’s going to be hot today so it’s definitely a day for the pool! I have the weekend off so I’ll keep busy with the kids! May go for a ride on the scooters around the lake- see how things pan out! I’m trying to eat healthy and drink plenty of water, which is definitely flushing my system! I long for the days where this is way behind me!! Untill then it’s still one day at a time as cravings are still strong from time to time! But I need to stay focused and positive!
  Top
Posted: January 9, 2018, 4:05 PM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



17 days clean today! Feeling pretty good lately, started up at the gym. Trying to focus all of my energy into something other than wallowing in my own self pity! Cravings are real and a constant reminder that this addiction is much bigger than I thought it was! But that’s ok because I still just take one step at a time!! Being back to work is also great, it keeps me busy while being tied somewhere, as apposed to when I’m home with the kids!! Even been clean longer than this before, and i can’t say i will never take take another pill again, but I can say that right now I won’t! And that’s about all I can do for now!! It’s harder than I thought it would be!! I guess being addicted for around 5-6 years means it’s gunna take more than me deciding to just quit and walk away!! It’s gunna take time and hard bloody work!! I’m ready to face that head on!!
  Top
Posted: February 3, 2018, 3:25 AM


Posts: 281
Joined: January 14, 2015



I caved again! Day 2 today, so here we go again! Hopefully it’s not too bad this time round!
Time will tell, I’ll check back in in a few days! Give my head time to settle!
  top of page  Top