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|Message Board > Families / Partners of Addicts > Dating A Person Who Is Addicted|
|Posted by: Rob2894 June 15, 2017, 7:41 AM|
|I just need someone to talk to. I am currently dating an addict. They're addicted to alcohol and crack. I really don't know what to to. I feel I should just walk away. I just don't know how. It hurts. At first it was just "once a week". Now it's every other day all day. This is not fun anymore. My girl friend is a different person. It's like I don't know who she is. It hurts so much. The constant lies... Everytime we're not together she goes and does it for some reason. I don't know I've never dealt with this before. Can anyone give me some insight. Thanks.|
|Posted by: WTFLOVE June 20, 2017, 2:41 PM|
|I feel you. I am in a similar situation only I married the person, knowing they were addicted to crack and alcohol. It has not been easy and my partner is still using.
My advice: Read anything and everything you can about addiction. If you can afford it, get professional help to try and figure out why you're willing to be in a relationship with someone who has an addiction and how you want to go forward. Lastly, check out on-line support and maybe an meeting for people who are in relationships with addicts (I hate that word, btw).
|Posted by: VioletMarie June 22, 2017, 8:49 AM|
|This turned into a 12 year party when I made the same mistake of falling in love with an addict/alcoholic in 1999. his addiction became mine as well. New Year's eve 2000 the man that said he loved me introduced me to crack cocaine. he needed the $$$ i was making (had my own business, my own sports car, my own place, etc., We partied together, got arrested together, and worked motels together. One night he even tried to sell me for $20 to anyone who would have me. I knew then that he no longer loved me and that he loved crack more. The last time I was arrested was in 2012. I was sentenced to a drug rehab center. It worked. I am now 5 years clean. I am free from my drug of choice; but, more importantly, I am free from him. The last time I checked online for him he was arrested in 2011 and was sentenced to 20 years (habitual offender status) for meth and all of his priors. I was arrested over 40 times between 2008 and 2012. My advice to you is RUN THE OTHER DIRECTION, DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH AN ADDICT!!! HIM AND HIS ADDICTION WILL DESTROY YOU!|
|Posted by: TryingTo June 23, 2017, 7:14 AM|
these two gave you some solid advice. I just left my fiancé. It's hard as heck. Being in a relationship with someone and loving them as much as you do, yet their actions are so wrong. I kept telling myself, I'll just start ignoring him a little. The only thing that did was hurt me. I was in a constant limbo for 8 months before i chose to completely cut it off. Reach out to good friends, family, maybe even a counselor- and we're always here too.
We all have feelings, and when we are with someone who is addicted, the highs are high and the lows are low. I always believed everything he would tell me- why wouldn't I? I loved the guy. One day I sat and thought... what could be the worst that could happen? When I actually took account of what could actually be the worst- it was pretty bad. Try to make a list and see how you feel about it!
best of luck,
|Posted by: Dirk August 14, 2017, 11:04 PM|
|I have been married to an addict for 26 years. He has used opiates in the past but for the last year has been hooked on crack. Crack addicts will do anything for that drug. Stealing, lying, pawning things from your home. You cannot help them. They need long term inpatient treatment. I just wasted a year of my life, my daughters' lives, and thousands of dollars trying to "help" him stop. I tried to monitor and control every aspect of his life, while working full-time. No matter what I did, he still found a way to get crack. He's out of his mind. Thank God he leaves for treatment tomorrow. Hopefully he will be there several months and then sober living. I don't want to see him for at least a year. I am in therapy trying to find happiness again and maybe the courage to divorce him. Crack is an evil, evil thing.|
|Posted by: sparks82 August 15, 2017, 12:27 PM|
|Walk away now before it gets worse and then kids are in the picture. I wish I had five years ago and never married my ex husband when I did. I kept ignoring the signs and ignoring his addiction and was on the whole "it's a disease" bandwagon. I thought if I left him I was a bad person.
Too much heartache and pain I've been through. I'm telling you it's just not worth it.